Whipped

In the hallway I found the long white trench coat. Under it was a brown shoebox with fancy lettering I could barely read. ‘Louboutin’ it said. Oh god!

Another of her notes was placed on top of the box, just in case I hadn’t remembered what she told me.

I kneeled and opened the box carefully, holding my breath. I was well aware what a Louboutin was…

A beautiful pair of classic black heels met me with the trademark red sole. I barely dared touching them at all.

I looked down at my naked feet. I felt dirty again… unworthy of these designer darlings.

Eventually I got the courage to step into them and stood up; almost falling over.

This was going to be a challenge!

I slipped the white trench coat on and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I blushed.

I looked like a business woman in those clothes… or at least someone posing as one.

I put my hands in the pockets and found the wallet she had mentioned and took it out. It was bright red; matching the soles of my new shoes.

I opened it and my eyes widened. Never in my life had I owned that amount of money at once. A ‘small’ advance she said?

I took a few test walks in the hallway; trying to find my balance. Stupid spine! My balance had always been terrible.

Eventually I had to go out there. Out in the real world and I did…

 

…

 

It felt so strange being outside. I had already grown accustomed to the strange life inside Miss A.’s home. The ‘natural’ order of things in there.

All the life out there scared me. People bumping into me, busy people… and this time I wasn’t invisible!

“Sorry!” a dashing young business man smiled at me and then hurried on.

I went into a grocery store and I had barely entered before I wanted to leave.

Way too many people and too much stuff boxing me in.  

But I was on a self-assigned mission in there. I grabbed a basket and started my shopping.

When I finally got out of there I took a deep breath; a gulp of London air filling my lungs.

I was carrying three shopping bags and barely had to lift my hand to haul a cab to take me to the alley.

 

…

 

The cab driver looked carefully at me as I stepped out.

“Want me to wait miss? Dangerous neighbourhood, this”.

My lips curled into a polite smile. Oh he had no idea.

I found Macy hugging a dirty blanket trying to stay warm and I walked straight over to her. I kneeled in front of her and dug into one of the shopping bags and produced another blanket; I wrapped it over her shoulders.

“Mira!” only now she registered that it was me. Her face lighting up.  “We thought…” Macy started coughing and produced a bottle of disinfectant and put it to her mouth. I quickly found the bottle of good vodka in the shopping bags and gave it to her; taking away the disinfectant.

“Where did you get this?” she asked after swallowing down a gulp of it. “What happened to you?”

She seemed so concerned. Heartbroken even as she studied the label, picking at it with her chipped and dirty fingernails.

“Mira no, don’t tell me you went back to…” her voice trailed off and I chewed my lip painfully.

- Back to where she found me.

“No, don’t you worry Macy” I gave her a brave smile. But honestly, this wasn’t much different, was it?

“Those men… what they did to you… such a young girl” tears welled up in her eyes and she took another gulp to soothe her unwelcome emotions.

“Macy, it’s okay. You saved me” I took hold of her hand and squeezed it tight, reminding her. I owed this woman so much.

“You’re too good to sell yourself like that” her eyes looked into mine; hers were so pained.  “They broke you”. I shook my head at her.

“Macy, I’m working for a business woman, I’m doing chores around the house… she’s a good person” I reassured her.  “I bought you some food, blankets and stuff”. I opened the bags up for her to see all the goods I had brought.

“You cried all night in my arms, bleeding and desperate”. I couldn’t hold my tears back as Macy brought up the memories.

“Please, Macy, please” I was begging her to stop. “I promise you, I’ll never go back to that” I vowed.

She grabbed my arms and I tried hard not to show the pain as she was touching my bruises.

“I’ve got to go, I promised her I’d be back…” I was lying. I had several hours left before dinner time… but I couldn’t stand this any longer.

Why were people so adamant on bringing back things I tried so hard to forget??

“Here, please stop drinking the disinfectant… it’ll kill you” I handed her £50. With that I walked away, shivering… and not because of the low temperature.

 

…

 

The cab driver had chosen to wait for me, obviously watching the scene.

I got into the cab and gave him a brave smile.

“You okay Miss?” the tears wouldn’t stop trailing down my cheeks. He handed me a handkerchief and I dried my eyes.

“Peachy!” I squeaked.

“You look someone in need of serious retail therapy, only thing that helps my sister when she looks like that” he chimed in. I nodded.

Honestly? I needed Miss A. to hurt me. Bad. I needed her to beat this painful load of emotions right out of my system.

He stopped by a fancy clothing store and I stepped out. I gave him another brave smile; mouthing a ‘thank you’.

I stepped into the boutique and heaved a sigh. Of course as every little girl I had dreamed of being in stores like that with a wallet full of money…

But I didn’t belong here… not at all.