Because I Loved You
folder
G through L › Glee
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
15
Views:
5,660
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
G through L › Glee
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
15
Views:
5,660
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Glee and I make no money from this piece of writing.
Fuck. My. Life.
“Puck, what are you doing?” Finn asked nervously the next day at school as I walked side by side with him in the crowded hallway.
“I’m protecting you,” I said gruffly, my head low, eyes straight forward.
“I thought we established that I don’t NEED protection. Figgins caught the jerks that wrote the note so I’m FINE,” he said. He was walking with his head down, and he had pulled his hood up. He had zipped his hoodie all the way up over his belly today too and it looked bigger than usual. Kids stared at him as we walked past.
“Jeeze,” I growled. “Don’t you think people would get used to seeing you by now?”
“Well I’m always changing Puck,” he sighed, stopping in front of his next class. “Now get outta here.”
“Yeah but I-”
“No,” he said sharply. “Leave Puck. You have early release today, leave. I’m fine. I don’t need you.”
My mouth opened again but Finn walked into his class and left me behind.
***
Leave. I’m fine. I don’t need you. I don’t need you. I. DON’T. NEED. YOU.
Why would Finn say something like that? I thought, driving down the road toward my house.
I sighed miserably. Everything was going so great the last few days… We confessed secrets, we banded together, I saved his life! Well… I sorta saved his life… I saved the day! I even kissed him last night! What was going on?! Why was he suddenly being so cold to me?! …Why did I suddenly care so much…?
***
Being with Finn… There were some upsides, I thought. Pros outweigh the cons, that bullshit. But there were a lot of cons, A LOT of cons…
1]. He’s a dude and
2]. His mom’s a bitch, also
3]. We don’t always get along and
4]. I would have to live with him and sleep in his tiny room on his tiny bed listening to a
5]. Crying baby and smelling
6]. Baby diapers, while trying to do
7]. School, work, baby and Finn stuff at the same time… it’d be like that anyway but
8]. Living with another totally stressed out guy would make it worse and
9]. What if he’s a bitch when he’s stressed [bitchy boyfriend?] or
10]. What if we argue like hell? Or
11]. What if I’m a bad dad…?
Yeah, all these cons were really freaking me out. Eleven mostly… especially eleven… But I was pretty sure I wanted Finn despite all the cons I’d made in my head because
1]. We WERE best friends and
2]. I needed to be near him for the baby and
3]. I had to protect them and
4]. I loved his smile…
5]. Sex with him was great most of the time and
6]. I wanted more of that and
7]. Maybe if we’re together then we’ll… I dunno I’d GET more of that.
I ran out of ideas after seven… I did know that I really wanted to be with him though and I was going to make it happen.
***
It was after five o’clock in the afternoon and Finn still hadn’t called me. I was getting worried and all sorts of disturbing little fantasies started running through my head. Someone threatened him, someone beat him up, someone kidnapped him! No . . . no Puck . . . I can’t be like that . . . He’s fine . . . he’s got to be fine . . .
When I got to the school I immediately started searching for him. I searched for him in the gym, I searched for him on the football field, I searched for him on all three floors, and finally I searched for him in the choir room.
“Finn?” I asked sticking my head into the room. I sighed, he wasn’t there. “Come on… Not again…”
“I’m glad you met me today Quinn.”
<> I thought a little too hopefully darting off in the direction of his voice.
“I’m glad too Finn. I haven’t really seen you in… months. Pregnancy suits you.”
<> I thought nearing their voices. They were standing outside in the hallway, in front of a classroom. Was THIS what was holding him up?
“Ha!” I heard him laugh. “Whatever.”
“Well, anyway, what did you want to ask me?”
Quinn smiled and touched Finn’s arm when she spoke. He smiled back and laughed a little, touching her back. I couldn’t believe it. This had to end now.
“Finn what the hell is going on?!” I cried rushing to his side and yanking him away from her by his arm. It was the only thing I could think of to do!
“Puck! What are you doing here?!” Finn’s face was getting more flushed and red with embarrassment and fury by the millisecond.
I couldn’t stop though. “What are YOU doing here?!” I roared.
“I can’t believe this,” he sighed, turning back to her. “I’m so sorry Quinn, he’s been acting crazy all day.”
“Really?” Quinn asked looking over at me.
I was enraged. That was the only word for it. What was this?! I didn’t get it! Why was Finn talking to his freaking ex- girlfriend?!
“Yeah he has…” Finn muttered.
“I am NOT acting crazy!” I yelled, attempting to draw back his attention by pulling on his sleeve. “I just don’t want my freaking boyfriend talking to his freaking ex- girlfriend!”
Finn shook his head angrily. “I was only going to ask Quinn if she would like to be the baby’s godmother… WHAT?!” he screeched catching my slip up. “Your BOYFRIEND?!”
“I- I – I just-!” I stammered.
“No freaking way!” he yelled in my face.
“Finn I just-!”
“No way!”
“But you gotta understand that-!”
“I don’t! I can’t!” he cried shaking me off and storming away down the hallway. “Puck stay AWAY from me!”
“But Finny WAIT! Wait Finn!” I yelled. “Please!”
“You NEVER say please Puck,” Quinn snickered as I watched Finn’s figure disappear out of the front door.
I rounded on her. “What the fuck Quinn?” I growled.
“You know if you keep scaring him off like that he’ll never even consider you as acceptable boyfriend material let alone be your boyfriend,” she said, picking her purse up from the floor and slinging it over her shoulder. “You’re ruining it Puck.” She gave me a sly look and walked away in the same direction as Finn.
Fuck. My. Life.
“I’m protecting you,” I said gruffly, my head low, eyes straight forward.
“I thought we established that I don’t NEED protection. Figgins caught the jerks that wrote the note so I’m FINE,” he said. He was walking with his head down, and he had pulled his hood up. He had zipped his hoodie all the way up over his belly today too and it looked bigger than usual. Kids stared at him as we walked past.
“Jeeze,” I growled. “Don’t you think people would get used to seeing you by now?”
“Well I’m always changing Puck,” he sighed, stopping in front of his next class. “Now get outta here.”
“Yeah but I-”
“No,” he said sharply. “Leave Puck. You have early release today, leave. I’m fine. I don’t need you.”
My mouth opened again but Finn walked into his class and left me behind.
***
Leave. I’m fine. I don’t need you. I don’t need you. I. DON’T. NEED. YOU.
Why would Finn say something like that? I thought, driving down the road toward my house.
I sighed miserably. Everything was going so great the last few days… We confessed secrets, we banded together, I saved his life! Well… I sorta saved his life… I saved the day! I even kissed him last night! What was going on?! Why was he suddenly being so cold to me?! …Why did I suddenly care so much…?
***
Being with Finn… There were some upsides, I thought. Pros outweigh the cons, that bullshit. But there were a lot of cons, A LOT of cons…
1]. He’s a dude and
2]. His mom’s a bitch, also
3]. We don’t always get along and
4]. I would have to live with him and sleep in his tiny room on his tiny bed listening to a
5]. Crying baby and smelling
6]. Baby diapers, while trying to do
7]. School, work, baby and Finn stuff at the same time… it’d be like that anyway but
8]. Living with another totally stressed out guy would make it worse and
9]. What if he’s a bitch when he’s stressed [bitchy boyfriend?] or
10]. What if we argue like hell? Or
11]. What if I’m a bad dad…?
Yeah, all these cons were really freaking me out. Eleven mostly… especially eleven… But I was pretty sure I wanted Finn despite all the cons I’d made in my head because
1]. We WERE best friends and
2]. I needed to be near him for the baby and
3]. I had to protect them and
4]. I loved his smile…
5]. Sex with him was great most of the time and
6]. I wanted more of that and
7]. Maybe if we’re together then we’ll… I dunno I’d GET more of that.
I ran out of ideas after seven… I did know that I really wanted to be with him though and I was going to make it happen.
***
It was after five o’clock in the afternoon and Finn still hadn’t called me. I was getting worried and all sorts of disturbing little fantasies started running through my head. Someone threatened him, someone beat him up, someone kidnapped him! No . . . no Puck . . . I can’t be like that . . . He’s fine . . . he’s got to be fine . . .
When I got to the school I immediately started searching for him. I searched for him in the gym, I searched for him on the football field, I searched for him on all three floors, and finally I searched for him in the choir room.
“Finn?” I asked sticking my head into the room. I sighed, he wasn’t there. “Come on… Not again…”
“I’m glad you met me today Quinn.”
<
“I’m glad too Finn. I haven’t really seen you in… months. Pregnancy suits you.”
<
“Ha!” I heard him laugh. “Whatever.”
“Well, anyway, what did you want to ask me?”
Quinn smiled and touched Finn’s arm when she spoke. He smiled back and laughed a little, touching her back. I couldn’t believe it. This had to end now.
“Finn what the hell is going on?!” I cried rushing to his side and yanking him away from her by his arm. It was the only thing I could think of to do!
“Puck! What are you doing here?!” Finn’s face was getting more flushed and red with embarrassment and fury by the millisecond.
I couldn’t stop though. “What are YOU doing here?!” I roared.
“I can’t believe this,” he sighed, turning back to her. “I’m so sorry Quinn, he’s been acting crazy all day.”
“Really?” Quinn asked looking over at me.
I was enraged. That was the only word for it. What was this?! I didn’t get it! Why was Finn talking to his freaking ex- girlfriend?!
“Yeah he has…” Finn muttered.
“I am NOT acting crazy!” I yelled, attempting to draw back his attention by pulling on his sleeve. “I just don’t want my freaking boyfriend talking to his freaking ex- girlfriend!”
Finn shook his head angrily. “I was only going to ask Quinn if she would like to be the baby’s godmother… WHAT?!” he screeched catching my slip up. “Your BOYFRIEND?!”
“I- I – I just-!” I stammered.
“No freaking way!” he yelled in my face.
“Finn I just-!”
“No way!”
“But you gotta understand that-!”
“I don’t! I can’t!” he cried shaking me off and storming away down the hallway. “Puck stay AWAY from me!”
“But Finny WAIT! Wait Finn!” I yelled. “Please!”
“You NEVER say please Puck,” Quinn snickered as I watched Finn’s figure disappear out of the front door.
I rounded on her. “What the fuck Quinn?” I growled.
“You know if you keep scaring him off like that he’ll never even consider you as acceptable boyfriend material let alone be your boyfriend,” she said, picking her purse up from the floor and slinging it over her shoulder. “You’re ruining it Puck.” She gave me a sly look and walked away in the same direction as Finn.
Fuck. My. Life.