Would You?

All previous disclaimers apply.

Author’s Note: Unhappy chapter. Please be gentle with it. I’m not quite satisfied with it, but hope you’ll like it anyway. Please let me know what you think if you have a moment! Separate endings, one hopeful, one happy, should be up in the next few days. I hope you’ll consider reading them both. Happy reading! T.H.


“Babe…” Puck pressed a light kiss to Kurt’s forehead, “Babe…wake up.” He pressed his nose against Kurt’s neck playfully and then kissed his closed eyelid, “Kurt, wake up.”

Kurt mumbled, not quite coming awake but nearing it, and turned his face away from Puck with a cute little moan that had Puck smiling. But, he would not be denied. Not today. He ran a hand over Kurt’s mussed hair for a moment before standing and pulling the blanket away from the bed. Kurt came awake with a squawk of indignation and glared up at Puck, disbelief in his eyes. Puck just stood back and laughed. Kurt had a wicked tongue, it was true, but when he tried to express displeasure with just a look he ended up just looking cute instead. Kind of like a glowering kitten.

“Noah, are you out of your mind?”

Kitten could hiss, Puck thought, and shook his head, unable to stop laughing. Kurt just glared and covered his naked lap with a pillow before he crossed his arms and waited for Puck to stop laughing.

“Sorry, babe,” He smiled when he was able to control himself, “You just look cute.”

“I’m glad I can amuse you,” Kurt muttered, not uncrossing his arms.

“Come on, babe,” Puck frowned at the tone of his voice, “Don’t be like that. Don’t go all ice on me. I just wanted us to…Fuck, I can’t explain. Just come with me. Please?” Kurt looked at him, no longer quite as angry as he had been, but still looking unhappy, “I already made coffee.” Puck tried.

“It’s the middle of the night, Noah,” Kurt murmured, but climbed out of the bed and grabbed his jeans.

“Not quite,” Puck murmured, distracted as he watched Kurt slip into his tight jeans without bothering with underwear, “Promise.”

He walked across the room and wrapped his arms around Kurt from behind, pulling his slight form to his chest and simply breathing him in for a moment before kissing his neck. Kurt moaned quietly and brought and hand up to cup Puck’s neck and stroke him Mohawk once before his body relaxed completely against Puck’s chest. He sighed and angled his head so that Puck had better access to his neck.

“Not that I don’t want to pound you into the mattress, babe,” Puck whispered after a moment, “But, I didn’t get you up for this.”

“All right,” Kurt sighed deeply, “Since you obviously aren’t going to drop this…Lead on.”
Puck kissed his neck one last time, grabbed one of his own hoodies and pulled it over Kurt’s head, and took his hand to lead him through the apartment. Kurt just looked at him with amusement as he pushed a thermos into his hands and led him out of the apartment. He frowned a little as they took the stairs up until they reached the roof of the apartment complex, wondering what the hell they were doing. He shook his head, still confused, when Puck led him across the roof by the hand.

“Noah, what are we doing up here?” He finally asked when they were seated on a blanket that his sweet, but maybe not entirely sane boyfriend had obviously already put out before he had even come to wake Kurt up, “It’s dark and it’s cold. We have school today. We should be sleeping. We…”

“Kurt?”

“Hmm?”

“Shut up and drink your coffee. You’ll see why we’re up here in a few minutes, okay?”

Kurt huffed a little, but didn’t resist when Noah pulled him between his legs and against his chest. It always felt nice when he was reminded just how much bigger than him his boyfriend was. Not in height, obviously. They weren’t that different in height. But, Noah was so much bigger than him in girth. And he was ridiculously defined, muscled. Beside the obvious satisfaction that looking at and touching Noah could bring him, it wasn’t just that aspect that made Kurt love Noah’s body. He loved how safe he felt when Noah wrapped him in his arms. He loved that he knew that Noah knew that he could fight his own battles, but that he would want to fight them for him if it ever came up, especially against the other teenaged boys who wouldn’t be able to accept their relationship. Their love. That word made Kurt feel warm inside. Or maybe it was the coffee he was sipping, which was exceptional. He snuggled further back against Noah’s chest and was reminded of ‘A Walk to Remember.’ He’d always loved the movie. It was one of the most romantic things he had ever seen, though he’d only ever admitted it to Mercedes when they were having one of their –what they called- girl’s nights. Now settled back against Noah’s strength, waiting for something, he couldn’t help but feel happy. He’d never thought he’d have a chance like this…someone like this who would do romantic things for him, even if he didn’t know what they were. He looked up at Noah’s face and the smile that had spread across his face fell. Noah looked…alone and there was something on his face that Kurt couldn’t name. There were tears in his eyes.

“Noah?” Kurt asked, tears in his own eyes making it hard to speak, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, babe,” Noah turned to him and the expression was gone. Kurt could breathe again, “Hey…Look.”

Kurt turned his head and his breath caught once again. He had, of course, noticed that the sky was lightening as he sipped his coffee, but he didn’t know how the dawn could have broken in the short minute he had spent looking at Noah. But, it had. The sky was streaked with the colors of the rainbow all centered on the beautiful bright light just peeking over the horizon. The apartment building was the tallest thing in the residential area and their view was obstructed by nothing. He hadn’t watched a sunrise that he could remember and watching one now with Noah took his breath away.

“I love you,” he whispered as they watched, not wanting to break the moment with loud words.

Puck smiled down at Kurt, glad that they had started the day like this. He hadn’t slept at all and had thought about the sunrise at about five. Kurt had been just as bitchy about getting up as he had expected, but it had been cute as hell. Kurt was cute as hell now as he stared out at the sunrise and tried to keep himself from crying. He was cute as hell wrapped in Noah’s hoodie, two sizes too big for him and his hair mussed still from bed. Puck pressed a kiss to his hair.

“Forever,” he said quietly, under the same spell that Kurt had found himself under.

They watched for another ten minutes before walking back down the stairs hand in hand. They made out a little in their shared shower, but Kurt insisted they didn’t have time for more. Not if he was going to look as fabulous as he wanted to for school. Puck had given in with little fight, making them smoothies while Kurt did his hair and ironed the clothes that already looked immaculate to Puck. Kurt had let him drive to school and had tucked himself into Puck’s side comfortably as they made their way into the school. It felt natural to push Kurt gently against the lockers after they had both grabbed their books for the morning and spend the time they had remaining before class flirting with the smaller boy, making him laugh and smile and Mercedes roll her eyes at them when they kissed lavishly just as some of the hockey jocks passed just because they could. They had looked carefully looked for cups first, of course, but there had been none. Besides, Kurt had been confident that Noah would step in front of him if it ever came to someone ruining his clothes. Noah liked to be protective like that. As they kissed and the jocks glared Kurt smiled against Noah’s mouth. It might be worth Puck getting in a fight just to see him beat one of those homophobic plebeians to a pulp. And of course the gratitude sex he would treat Noah to afterward would be incredible. The only downside to the whole affair would be Noah getting hurt. Better not to think about fighting after all, Kurt thought. He never wanted Noah hurt.

He didn’t say anything, though he noticed, when Noah didn’t pay any attention in the classes they shared, but instead kept his eyes on Kurt. He kept his arm either around Kurt’s shoulder or their fingers linked under the table. Kurt couldn’t figure out what was distracting him so and every once in a while he would catch a glimpse of something that looked very like grief on Noah’s face from the corner of his eye, like he had that morning. But, by the time he turned completely it was always gone and Noah was giving him that cocky shit-eating grin he loved to give Kurt. But, something was off about it. It wasn’t until the third or fourth time it happened that Kurt realized it was because the grin wasn’t reaching Noah’s eyes. There was something wrong. Kurt knew his instincts had been right. He resolved to talk to Noah about it when they were through with football practice.

“Hey, babe, I’ll see you at lunch,” Puck said when they were about to part for separate classes. He gave Kurt a distracted kiss and Kurt turned to see who he was looking at. So, that was it. He turned back to Noah, understanding. Quinn was nearly to term now, her belly large and full. She was standing at her locker with Santana, her fingers draped protectively over the child growing within her, a wide, happy smile on her face.

“Don’t be too disappointed if she says something you don’t want to hear,” Kurt warned.

“I…”

Kurt set a finger to his lips before giving him a quick, chaste kiss, “It’s okay. I know you need to talk to her. I just don’t want to see you upset if she says something you don’t like. Good luck. I love you. And I’ll see you at lunch.”

Puck smiled at Kurt’s retreating form, then took a deep, bolstering breath before he approached Quinn’s locker.

“Can we talk?” He asked quietly. Santana glared at him, but Quinn just looked as if she had expected this.

“I have a free period now,” Quinn said quietly, giving a reassuring look to Santana, who walked off with a huff.

“I can make one,” Puck nodded his head, “Choir room?”

“Sure.”

They were uncomfortably silent even when they were seated in chairs on the risers, looking at each other, both trying to think of something to say.

“So…” Quinn began, “You’re with Kurt.”

“Yeah…” He shrugged, “Surprised me, too. He was there when I found out that you and Finn were getting back together. He’s been there since.”

“Do you love him?” She asked quietly, her hands folded in her lap now.

“I…” He looked down, closed his eyes, then nodded slightly, “I do.”

“I’m glad.”

His head snapped up at that. Of all people, he had expected Quinn to give his trouble about his relationship with Kurt. She liked Kurt of course. He was one of her friends, but she’d never been forced to actually see his homosexuality in practice. And her parents had been so freaking religious. Not the love-people-as-Jesus-said kind of religious, but the God-hates-everyone-we hate kind of religious. He should have known that that type of thinking wouldn’t carry on to Quinn. She was better than them. She was better than him. Still, he looked at her disbelieving.

“You’ve been kind of lost for a long time, Puck. I wasn’t sure you would ever find what you needed to satisfy you. But, I see you with Kurt and you look at him like I’ve never seen you look at anyone before. You’ve grown up. And you’re so much happier than I’ve ever seen you. You give me hope that someday I’ll find that, too.”

“But…” He stuttered, “Y…You and Finn?”

“We haven’t actually been together for months.” She confessed quietly, “But, he’s a good enough guy that he’s willing to keep up the pretense for me at least until the baby is born so that people don’t think he left because of the baby. It’s important to both of us that people know that we broke up because it was something we both wanted. He’s the best man I know, but we’re just not right for each other. We never have been. We just didn’t let ourselves see it.”

“Quinn, I…I’m sorry. I never said it. I’m saying it now. I’m sorry I got you drunk that night. I’m sorry I mistake like this. I’m sorry I hurt you so much. I’m sorry for everything.”

He couldn’t look at her, even as she took his hand and murmured in return, “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry I asked you to hide it from your best friend. I’m sorry I hurt you. If I remember correctly, Puck, you were drunk that night, too. We both made the mistake, but that’s the one thing that I can’t be sorry for.”

“What?” Puck asked, looking up and seeing the truth and tears in her eyes.

“Because of her,” Quinn brought the hand she was holding to her belly and laid his fingers against the life growing inside of her, “She’s alive, Noah, because we were together. I’ve felt her grow inside of me and I love her so much already. If that’s not a miracle I don’t know what is.”

“What…” Puck’s voice caught when felt a movement under his hand. Quinn giggled lightly at his wide eyes, “Wow. We made that.”

“Yes, we did.” Quinn laughed, then sobered a little, “And I want you and Kurt to be part of her life.”

“You’re keeping her.” It was a statement and not a question.

“I am. It’s going to be hard, but it’s okay. She’s worth it. I’d never be able to give her up. She’s everything now.”

“What…what are you going to name her?” Puck asked, unable to address being in her life and feeling his heart break, but trying not to show it.

“Aria Grace,” Quinn answered without hesitation.

“That’s beautiful, Quinn. She’s going to be beautiful.”

“Yes she is.” She rubbed her belly gently, “Puck…Finn misses you. I can tell. Are you going to talk to him too?”

“Yeah,” He sighed and ran a hand over his Mohawk, “I’m going to try anyway. I’m not sure if he’ll listen yet, but I have to try. One of us has to make the first move. Might as well be me.”

“You really have grown up,” She smiled and stood when the bell rang, “Now, let’s go to lunch. I’m starving and our daughter is sitting on my bladder. Puck…” She leaned over and kissed his forehead, “I’m very proud of you.”

“Thanks, Quinn.”

Kurt beamed at him when he walked into the room with Quinn. He knew what his expression must have looked like and he could see the relief on hers. Finn looked at them both for a only a moment before he looked down again, looking like he wanted to throw up. But he didn’t look like he wanted to kill Puck so that was a relief. Puck didn’t bother to get food. He’d been increasingly uncomfortable as his time away from Kurt increased and the vision of Kurt tripping and hitting his head on a water fountain ran through his mind again and again. None of the others seemed to notice that he wasn’t eating or speaking, just looking at Kurt. He pulled Kurt into his lap as soon as he was finished eating and laid his head against Kurt’s back, closing his eyes and simply breathing his scent in. He heard Kurt explain that they’d gotten up to see the sunrise this morning and that seemed to be enough explanation for everyone else. He was amazed when it was Finn who approached him just as lunch ended. They didn’t speak, but Puck knew that if he was ever going to talk to Finn at all it was his last chance. So, he just gave Kurt a quick kiss when Finn looked at him, raising an eyebrow in invitation to follow before he walked away, and followed wherever the other boy would lead him.

Where he led him was the locker room. A place he was comfortable, Puck supposed. He knew this wasn’t going to be nearly as easy as it was with Quinn when Finn turned around and crossed his arms, looking at Puck as if he was the lowest trash, as he had been for weeks. Puck sighed and felt his shoulders drop in defeat, though he tried to hide it. He raised an eyebrow when all of the sudden Finn’s body went relaxed and the boy who had once been his best friend sat on one of the benches, his posture a clear tell of defeat.

“I don’t have the energy to hate you anymore, man,” Finn said quietly, “Especially with you and Quinn getting along again. I just…don’t hurt Kurt, okay? He’s a good guy.”

“Why would I hurt him?” Puck asked, confused, and so surprised by Finn’s words that he really just wasn’t getting what Finn was trying to say.

“When you get back with Quinn…”

“Finn, man, I’m not getting back with Quinn.”

“You’re not?” Finn’s head snapped up and the surprise on his face made Puck chuckle a little.

“No, man. Just…no. I’m with Kurt now. I…Fuck, man. I love Kurt, okay?” He realized the words that had come out of his mouth and sat, “Shit. I love him.”

“And you didn’t love Quinn?”

“No, I didn’t. What Quinn and I did…we did it because we were both lonely and drunk. I’d never been able to keep a girl and she felt like you were drifting away. We let ourselves get carried away and you’re the one who paid for it. And I haven’t said it yet, dude, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry I slept with your girl. Yeah, I was drunk, but I wasn’t drunk enough not to know what I was doing. I’m sorry that we kept it secret. And I’m sorry that what I did ruined everything with the best friend I ever had. I’m an asshole, Finn, and you’ve always known it. But, you never cared about that. You stood by me no matter what and I betrayed you.”

“You did betray me,” Finn said flatly, “And you are an asshole. It broke my heart, Puck, when I found out the baby wasn’t mine. I loved her.”

“I know.” Puck winced, “You can hit me if again if you want.”

“I’m done hitting you,” Finn sighed, “I’m done wanting to hit you every time I see you. I told you, dude, I just don’t have the energy anymore. Part of the reason I was so angry was because I loved her. The other part was because I was glad that I wasn’t going to have to deal with it anymore and it…God, I was relieved. And then I felt ashamed because I was relieved.”

“That’s natural, Finn.”

“That’s what everyone told me. I believe them now. I’m glad you’re not messing with Kurt. I’m glad you love him. That’s…that’s cool, man. I just wanted to tell you that I can’t hate you anymore. I’m done with that. We’re not friends anymore, Puck. You burned me bad, bro. But, maybe someday…”

“Better than I was hoping for,” Puck said, and they stood. When Puck held out his hand, Finn shook it as if they had never met. And that was hard, but, like Puck had said, better than he was expecting. More than he had any right to expect. When Finn had left the locker room Puck pulled out his phone and dialed his mom. He hadn’t expected her to pick up and was glad when she didn’t.

“Hey, this is Rebeka. I’m not in. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”

“Hi, Ma. I just wanted to say that I hope you and Miri are having a great time and I’ll see you when you get home. I love you guys.”

He sat down again, burying his face in his hands. He’d done everything he had wanted to do today. He’d apologized to both Finn and Quinn for his part in how he had hurt them. It felt unnatural but both of their reactions had been so much more than he had ever hoped for. He imagined for a moment what life would be like if there were any way he…He and Kurt would be living together after college. He didn’t know what they’d be doing, but they would love it. Aria would spend the weekends with them. He could see her perfectly. Quinn’s perfect features miniaturized on her beautiful little face, pale as Quinn’s own. But, her hair and her eyes would be dark like his own. And her attitude would be all Puckerman. She would be his sweet little badass and they would regularly drive Kurt to distraction with their antics. But, he would love them both so much. They would be happy. Burt and his mom and sister and Quinn and her husband, maybe Finn and his wife, would come over for holidays and birthdays. It would be a good life. If only it was meant. He felt the tears leaking hot through his hands.

This was going to devastate Kurt. And it was going to devastate his mother and his sister. But, Kurt would live and his mother and sister would remember him as he had been this past week. Thoughtful and loving. Because that’s what people would tell them when they were sitting Shiva for him. He was making the right decision. He knew it. He wished he could have left a better message for them. He wanted to tell his mother that he was sorry he had made life so hard for her and they he was sorry that he had never been the best son, but she was the best mother is the world. He wanted to tell Miri that he was going to miss scaring the boys away when she started to date and to never fall for a guy like him. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and she was the most beautiful girl in the world and to never let herself think any different. He wished he’d gotten to spend more time with Burt. Kurt’s dad was one man he would have liked to gain the respect of. He would have liked Burt to shake his hand. Just once.

No use thinking on it anymore. He’d made his choice and it was the right one. He drifted through the rest of his classes, was distracted in football practice. Tanaka didn’t say anything this time when he left early with Kurt. Someone halfheartedly threw a “Fags” at them when they held hands on their way back to the school, but they didn’t pay any attention to it at all. Puck was too distracted by what was coming and Kurt was too distracted by the way Puck was distracted. They showered in uncomfortable silence and it carried over into their dressing. For once Kurt didn’t care about looking immaculate. He was finished before Puck and leaned down, wrapping his arms around him and setting his chin to Puck’s hair.

“You okay?” Kurt asked, “Did you have a bad talk with Finn?”

“No, it was better than it should have been,” Puck assured him, holding onto his linked hands, “Just gave me a lot to think about. You ready to go?”

“Sure.”

They walked toward the front of the school, still holding hands. Kurt was confused when Puck panicked when he said that he needed a drink and insisted that he could wait until they got home. But, Puck looked so fearful that he had decided he didn’t need the drink after all. Puck pulled on his hand to stop him when they reached the front door and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Noah…” Kurt whispered, “You’re trembling. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, babe,” Noah whispered. He pulled back and looked Kurt in his beautiful eyes, “I…I love you, Kurt.”

Kurt’s eyes misted and he threw his arms around Noah’s neck, “I love you, too, Noah.”

“Forever?”

“Forever,” Kurt confirmed.

“Good.”

He kept Kurt at his side as they walked out of the school and across the parking lot, his shoulders tense and his eyes darting back and forth. For a moment, when they had almost reached Kurt’s car, he was almost hopeful that nothing would happen. But, then he saw the car out of the corner of his eye, coming toward them too fast. He pushed Kurt as hard as he could, wincing inwardly at his cry of indignation and pain as his palms opened up on the harsh asphalt. He only had a second to brace himself before he was flying through the air. He hit the ground hard and was confused when there was no pain. He heard the car peeling away, saw the tires burning against the parking lot and rolled his head, looking for Kurt. He felt his heart clench thinking that what he had done might not be enough and they would still go after Kurt. But, the car just drove away. He still couldn’t find Kurt, though. He rolled his head again and saw the ladies standing in a line. Crystal nodded at him, Sakura set a hand over her heart, and Aziza blew him a kiss. They were all crying. He knew that they were blocking his pain and he was grateful. He couldn’t see himself, but he could feel his body jerking as his nerves struggled to make sense of the overload of sensation his body was processing that he couldn’t feel. He could feel the blood seeping from his body into the hard ground. He knew the words he should say, but the only thing he could think about was Kurt.

“Kurt…” he moaned, forcing the word out, “Kurt…”

“Someone call an ambulance!” He heard Schuester call out. He wondered where the teacher had come from.

“Kurt…” he moaned again.

“Baby? Noah?”

Finally, that beautiful voice. Kurt was already crying as he appeared over Noah. He was untouched. It made Noah smile. He reached out a hand, surprised he had the strength to do so, and set it to Kurt’s cheek, slightly startled when he realized he’d smeared some of his own blood on Kurt’s face by doing so. But, Kurt didn’t seem to care about that. He just held Noah’s hand to his face and kept speaking to him.

“I’m right here, Noah. Just hold on. I love you so much, Noah. Just hold on for me for a little bit, okay? I know it hurts, baby, but just a little bit.”

“Doesn’t hurt,” Puck whispered. He could feel himself fading. His eyes began to roll back in his head and Kurt suddenly slapped him, the first pain he had felt at all. His eyes snapped open again. He was able to use the slight pain to focus a little.

“Don’t you dare leave me, Noah Puckerman! Don’t you dare!” Kurt cried out. He lowered Puck’s hand, but kept a tight hold on it.

“An ambulance is on the way, guys. Puck, you hold on.” Mr. Schuester was suddenly with them. Puck wanted so badly to do as they both wanted, but he was just so tired. All he could think about was the warm comfort of sleep. But, he had to say one more thing first. He turned his attention back to Kurt as he felt his grip on Kurt’s hand weakening.

“For…For…” He tried to force out of a mouth full of blood. He coughed and it dribbled warm down his chin.

“Forever!” Kurt sobbed, “I love you forever.”

“You have done so well, Noah Puckerman,” Aziza’s voice was sweet in his ear, “Rest now. He will be safe. Let go, Noah. Let go.”

His life for Kurt's, he thought. Fair trade. With a final thought of love for Kurt and his family, did as Aziza said. He let go.

Kurt knew the moment Noah left him. His bright eyes went dull. His chest ceased its struggle to draw in air. Kurt heard a high wailing sound of grief he didn’t recognize as coming from himself until Ms. Pillsbury tried to pull him away from Noah, tears streaming down her face. But, he wouldn’t let go. He set his forehead to Noah’s bloody hands and whispered the only three words in his head and heart.

“Please…come back.”

In the distance the ambulance sirens were heard. The football players appeared. Finn bent over and was sick in the grass before he fell to his knees sobbing. And no one could hear Kurt’s desperate words as he whispered them.

“Please come back.”