Confessions
folder
M through R › Robin of Sherwood
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
12
Views:
3,208
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
M through R › Robin of Sherwood
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
12
Views:
3,208
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Robin of Sherwood, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 12
Chapter 12
Winter turned to spring and with it Guy and I continued to fall deeper in love. My husband didn’t suspect a thing-we were entirely discreet, and I continued to play my roles as de Rainault’s wife and Gisburne’s lover entirely independently of one another. As the weather warmed, Guy and I talked more of escape; the prospect of one day being together without the secrecy cheered us, gave us hope when we were feeling the constraints of our situation. I think I always knew that in actuality, escape was impossible, but the dream kept us warm.
Soon I fell pregnant again, and both of the men in my life were delighted. However, it didn’t take long for Guy to tire of de Rainault’s smug proclamations about his own virility. I was foolish to assume that he would be happy, in the long term with the impossibility of our situation. On one of our snatched afternoons together, he finally broached the subject.
My husband had banned me from riding when he found out that I was with child, which meant that Guy and I no longer had an excuse to get away from the castle and into the countryside. We were relegated to walking the outskirts of the estate, and soon it was clear that we needed to discuss our future in more concrete terms.
The wild garlic was beginning to flower under the canopy of trees, and its heady scent permeated the air as we walked. Primroses added a splash of vibrant colour to the pathways and other wild flowers added their light scent to the air. Eventually, Guy motioned for me to stop, and we sat beneath one of the larger oak trees.
“This can’t go on,” he said, without a trace of preamble. “De Rainault has to know that you’re carrying my child.” He brushed a stray lock of hair from his eyes and took my hand.
“I know,” I sighed. “I can’t bear it much longer, but what can we do?” I squeezed his hand in a gesture of support. “If Robert finds out about us, he’ll hang me and goodness only knows what he’ll do to you. There’s no escape from this situation.” I looked away from him for a moment. “You know that if word of this gets out, you’ll be disgraced and we’ll have nothing.”
“I’m willing to take that chance,” Guy insisted. “I don’t care any more about the consequences. We lost one child, Mildred, we can’t lose another.” He ran a weary hand over his eyes and looked back at me. “This is more important than de Rainault’s perceived pride. We must find a solution.”
“But what solution?” I retorted. “My father won’t help us, and I have no other family. Even if I did, there’s not way they’d shelter me now that I’m with child by a man who isn’t my husband.”
Guy looked thoughtful. “Perhaps there is a way,” he said. “It’s a risk, but I’m willing to take it if you are.”
My heart leapt with a little hope, even though I knew that it might be hopeless. “What do you mean?”
“I have relatives in Normandy,” Guy said. “A cousin and his wife. If we could somehow get you out of the country, then perhaps, at some later date, I could join you, when the scandal has died down.” He looked momentarily elated. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before! It might just be the solution.” Ecstatically, he kissed me. “De Rainault won’t like it, but I’m sure between us we can fabricate some story-say you’ve got to visit a sick relative or something, and then as soon as I know you’re safe across the water, I can break the news to your husband that your ship sank-he’ll think you’re dead, and I can join you in time.”
“But Robert will be devastated,” I said guiltily. “I can’t live with the fact that he’ll think I’m dead. Surely there’s a better explanation that will cause him less pain?” I moved in closer to Guy and gently touched the back of his neck. “Never forget that I love you, but I cannot, in good conscience, cause Robert any more pain.”
“He doesn’t love you!” Guy retorted. “You yourself have admitted that he only married you for the dowry, why can’t you see that he doesn’t matter?” He pulled away from my touch, and hurt, I dropped my hand.
“No, Guy,” I replied quietly. “He’s fond of me, even if he doesn’t love me, and I can’t, in all conscience, involve myself in a plan that will cause him more pain than absolutely necessary.”
“So what do you propose?” Guy said, his voice still raised. “That we walk straight in on your husband and tell him that it’s my child you’re carrying and not his? Gods Mildred, what’s that going to do if not cause him pain?” He stood up abruptly.
“Guy!” I exclaimed, standing up. I was fearful that if he kept raising his voice we’d attract eavesdroppers.
He looked down at me, and the expression in my eyes mollified him somewhat. Leaning over, he kissed me gently. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I want to scream our joy to the rafters and not have to keep worrying about looking over our shoulders every few moments.”
“I know,” I replied. “And we will find a way to solve this, I promise.”
Little did I know, as I said that, whether I liked it or not, the choice was very soon going to be taken out of my hands.
Winter turned to spring and with it Guy and I continued to fall deeper in love. My husband didn’t suspect a thing-we were entirely discreet, and I continued to play my roles as de Rainault’s wife and Gisburne’s lover entirely independently of one another. As the weather warmed, Guy and I talked more of escape; the prospect of one day being together without the secrecy cheered us, gave us hope when we were feeling the constraints of our situation. I think I always knew that in actuality, escape was impossible, but the dream kept us warm.
Soon I fell pregnant again, and both of the men in my life were delighted. However, it didn’t take long for Guy to tire of de Rainault’s smug proclamations about his own virility. I was foolish to assume that he would be happy, in the long term with the impossibility of our situation. On one of our snatched afternoons together, he finally broached the subject.
My husband had banned me from riding when he found out that I was with child, which meant that Guy and I no longer had an excuse to get away from the castle and into the countryside. We were relegated to walking the outskirts of the estate, and soon it was clear that we needed to discuss our future in more concrete terms.
The wild garlic was beginning to flower under the canopy of trees, and its heady scent permeated the air as we walked. Primroses added a splash of vibrant colour to the pathways and other wild flowers added their light scent to the air. Eventually, Guy motioned for me to stop, and we sat beneath one of the larger oak trees.
“This can’t go on,” he said, without a trace of preamble. “De Rainault has to know that you’re carrying my child.” He brushed a stray lock of hair from his eyes and took my hand.
“I know,” I sighed. “I can’t bear it much longer, but what can we do?” I squeezed his hand in a gesture of support. “If Robert finds out about us, he’ll hang me and goodness only knows what he’ll do to you. There’s no escape from this situation.” I looked away from him for a moment. “You know that if word of this gets out, you’ll be disgraced and we’ll have nothing.”
“I’m willing to take that chance,” Guy insisted. “I don’t care any more about the consequences. We lost one child, Mildred, we can’t lose another.” He ran a weary hand over his eyes and looked back at me. “This is more important than de Rainault’s perceived pride. We must find a solution.”
“But what solution?” I retorted. “My father won’t help us, and I have no other family. Even if I did, there’s not way they’d shelter me now that I’m with child by a man who isn’t my husband.”
Guy looked thoughtful. “Perhaps there is a way,” he said. “It’s a risk, but I’m willing to take it if you are.”
My heart leapt with a little hope, even though I knew that it might be hopeless. “What do you mean?”
“I have relatives in Normandy,” Guy said. “A cousin and his wife. If we could somehow get you out of the country, then perhaps, at some later date, I could join you, when the scandal has died down.” He looked momentarily elated. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before! It might just be the solution.” Ecstatically, he kissed me. “De Rainault won’t like it, but I’m sure between us we can fabricate some story-say you’ve got to visit a sick relative or something, and then as soon as I know you’re safe across the water, I can break the news to your husband that your ship sank-he’ll think you’re dead, and I can join you in time.”
“But Robert will be devastated,” I said guiltily. “I can’t live with the fact that he’ll think I’m dead. Surely there’s a better explanation that will cause him less pain?” I moved in closer to Guy and gently touched the back of his neck. “Never forget that I love you, but I cannot, in good conscience, cause Robert any more pain.”
“He doesn’t love you!” Guy retorted. “You yourself have admitted that he only married you for the dowry, why can’t you see that he doesn’t matter?” He pulled away from my touch, and hurt, I dropped my hand.
“No, Guy,” I replied quietly. “He’s fond of me, even if he doesn’t love me, and I can’t, in all conscience, involve myself in a plan that will cause him more pain than absolutely necessary.”
“So what do you propose?” Guy said, his voice still raised. “That we walk straight in on your husband and tell him that it’s my child you’re carrying and not his? Gods Mildred, what’s that going to do if not cause him pain?” He stood up abruptly.
“Guy!” I exclaimed, standing up. I was fearful that if he kept raising his voice we’d attract eavesdroppers.
He looked down at me, and the expression in my eyes mollified him somewhat. Leaning over, he kissed me gently. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I want to scream our joy to the rafters and not have to keep worrying about looking over our shoulders every few moments.”
“I know,” I replied. “And we will find a way to solve this, I promise.”
Little did I know, as I said that, whether I liked it or not, the choice was very soon going to be taken out of my hands.