Numb

The knock on the door almost went unheard over the loudness of the video game playing on the television. Sam quickly stepped over several wires and bent to turn down the volume as she made her way to the door.
Opening it, she instantly felt the tension drain from her shoulders as she saw Luka standing on the other side with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
" Hello. " he smiled.
" Hi, " she breathed opening the door for him. " Come on in. "
He walked in and stopped abruptly at seeing Steve sitting on the couch next to Alex.
The contemptuous look on his face only lasted for a second then, just long enough for Alex to bolt from his seat and wrap himself around Luka.
" I didn't know you were coming over. " Alex said, hugging him. " I haven't seen you in days. I want to show you all the neat things Dad bought me. "
Luka hugged him back and smiled.
" Your Mom and I are going out tonight. But I'll come back tomorrow and you can show me everything. " he told him.
" We are ? " Sam asked, looking down at her tee shirt and jeans. " You should have warned me. Give me a sec to change. "
Luka smiled. " Take your time. I want a chance to talk to Steve and Alex anyway. "
Sam felt a sudden flutter of nervousness at his expression, but quickly pushed it away and left the room.
" Alex would you mind giving me a few minutes with your Dad ? " Luka asked, after Sam left.
" You aren't going to be mean to each other, are you ? " Alex wanted to know as he stood up.
" No, we aren't going to be mean. I don't think. Steve ? " Luka said, looking to him.
" I have no plans on being mean. " he answered, clearly nervous.
" See ? " Luka told Alex. " Everything is fine. I just want a few minutes. Then I'll come and get you. "
Alex nodded and prodded off down the hall to his room.
Luka waited until he heard the door shut before he placed the flowers gently down on the coffee table and turned his attention to Steve.
" So, you found them again ? " Luka asked, casually.
Steve shifted slightly. " I just wanted to see my son. " he answered quietly.
Luka moved to the arm chair sitting beside the couch and sat down. " I'm glad. Alex really wants to get to know you. And I want Alex to be happy. Alex means a lot to me." His voice grew quieter and much more serious. " They both mean a lot to me. "
Steve shifted again but didn't say anything.
" I guess what I'm getting at here, is that I will not let them be hurt. I will not have you give them a reason to run away again. Because this time in order to run away from you again, they have to run away from me too. That would not be okay with me. "
Steve looked up at him. " Are you threatening me ? " he asked, quietly.
" No, I'm not threatening. Although I offered, Sam declined. She wants Alex to know you. I can accept that. He deserves to know you. I'm just simply stating the fact as I see them. " He paused and leaned closer, then dropped his voice even low. " If you do anything to make them run away, you had better run as well, because once they are gone out of my life, there won't be anything to save yours. "
Steve squirmed a little and backed away from him.
But Luka was already leaning back. " I'm getting totally off subject. This isn't even what I wanted to talk to you about. " He smiled. " I'm going to tell you just like Sam told me the first time I took Alex, that little boy and his mother are my life and if you do anything that might hurt him or put him in danger tonight, I will hunt you down and kill you. "
He hadn't noticed Sam standing in the hallway. She felt a little guilty for ease dropping, but now she was wiping at the tears that had suddenly formed in her eyes. Hearing him saying those words made her heart jump and her stomach flop. She couldn't contain the smile that was fighting its way to the surface as she stepped out into the room.
" Everything okay ? " she asked, looking from one of the men to the other. She noted with more than a little amusement that Steve looked a little p ale.
" Everything is fine, isn't it, Steve ? " Luka smiled, going to her and kissing her check.
" You look beautiful. "
Steve smiled and nodded. " Everything is just fine. "
She had pulled her hair down and was now wearing a simple red dress with a low neck line that hit her just above the knee.
" Are those for me ? " she asked, pointing to the flowers on the table.
Luka walked to them and offered them to her. " These are to say I'm sorry about the last few weeks. "
Sam took the flowers and inhaled their scent deeply. " They're beautiful. I'm just going to go and put them in water. "
" Okay, I want to talk to Alex for a minute. I'll be right back. "
He knocked softly on Alex's door and seconds later it opened.
" Can I come in for a sec ? " Luka asked.
" Yeah, sure. Did you talk to Dad ? " he asked, as he flopped back down on the bed.
" Yep, we are getting along just great. " Luka smiled at remember the look on his face as he left the room.
" Was it about me ? " Alex asked, quietly.
" No, well sort of, " Luka corrected, " I was just telling him I wanted him to look after you tonight, is that okay with you ? "
" Yeah, I can stay with him. I'll be okay . " Alex smiled.
" Okay, " Luka smiled back. " Now this part is important. " He handed Alex a piece of paper.
Alex took it and read it quickly. " I already know your phone number. " he told him.
" Well, that's just in case. I want you to keep that with you and if you have any problems tonight, anything at all, you call us and we will be back here before you know it. "
Alex shook his head. " I'll be okay. " he repeated.
" I'm just making sure. " Luka said, ruffling his hair and pulling him into a hug. " You are very important to me and I don't want anything to happen to you. "
Alex hugged him back.
" I'm glad you're back. Mom has been pretty sad lately. "
" Well, I'm going to try and fix everything tonight, okay ? " Luka reassured him.
" Okay. " Alex nodded.
Luka stood from the bed and smiled again. " Remember, call if you need us. "
" I will. " he smiled back.
Luka turned to go, but Alex stopped him. " Go get her. " he smiled shyly.
Luka laughed and left the room.
He meet Sam in the hall and pulled her to him quickly. " Are you ready to go ? "
" Yep, I just want to say goodnight to Alex. Are you sure about leaving him with Steve ? I don't know if I like that. "
Luka kissed her and brushed her hair off her shoulder. " He'll be fine. I've taken care of it. Don't worry. "
Sam smiled and quickly went into Alex's room. A minute later they were heading out the door.
Luka threw a quick smile over his shoulder before he closed the door behind him. Steve apparently got the message because he got up and started to clear away some of the trash piled around the room.
They rode in silence to Luka's apartment. But instead of the awkward silence they had been enduring this was much more comfortable and relaxed. Luka held her hand in his as he maneuvered his black SUV through the mass of traffic. Sam couldn't help but smile as she watched him, lost in concentration on the road in front of him. Every time he stopped at a traffic light he would raise her hand and kiss it gently. Although she wasn't complaining, by far, she was still surprised at his sudden and complete turn around.
Finally, as they were nearing his apartment building she couldn't contain her curiosity any longer and decided to ask about it.
" So, I'm not complaining, I swear, " she started, breaking the quiet. " But why this sudden change ? "
Luka glanced at her and smiled. " Someone made me see what an ass I was being. "
" Really ? Who do I have to thank, Abby ? " she smiled.
He looked at her again and smiled sheepishly. " Carter, actually, although Abby tried. "
His voice grew suddenly serious. " I'm sorry about yesterday. I should have stayed with you last night. "
" It was okay. I was a little nervous with Steve being there, but I told you. I knew you were dealing with something. " she said, squeezing his hand.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. " Yesterday would have been my son's fifteenth birthday. "
Sam stared at him flabbergasted. " What ? " she finally managed. " I mean, My God. "
Luka offered her a tight smile. " His name was Marko.
She reached out and touched his check softly. " I had no idea. I don't know what to say. "
He parked the vehicle in his parking spot and turned to her. " I should have told you all this a long time ago. I'm sorry. "
Sam leaned closer and kissed him.
" There is a lot more that you need to know, but let's go inside first. " he offered, leaning back and letting her hand go.
Sam sat there in shock long enough for him to get out of the car and come around to open her door. He held his hand out to her and she took it and let him lead her to his door.
Once outside the door, Luka fumbled with his keys, but before he had a chance to use them, the door opened and a delicious aroma hit them.
Abby stood on the other side, purse on her shoulder, with Carter trailing behind her.
" Everything is ready. You guys have a good night. " she said, exiting the apartment.
Luka stopped them with a hand on her arm. " Thank you, for everything. " he told them.
" Hey, we sampled the food, took a swim in your tub, made several long distance phone calls. We had our fun. " Carter teased.
Luka slapped him on the back as they walked away.
" Thank you. " Sam called over her shoulder before Luka pulled her inside.
" It was our pleasure. " Abby told her before the door closed.
Sam turned andppedpped short when she took in the apartment. Candles illuminated the room. There sweet aroma barely hidden by the smell of food coming from the dining room. She felt her stomach rumble a bit and realized she was starving.
Luka took her purse and lead her to the table. He pulled her chair out and she sat down and watched him as he circled the table and sat down in front of his plate.
" Everything looks so wonderful. " she sighed.
" I wanted this to be perfect. I owe Carter and Abby big for helping me. " he smiled.
She took a tentative sip of the wine in her glass and smiled as the pleasant taste assaulted her tongue.
" Okay, " Luka said, taking a drink from his glass as well, before starting in on the food.
" So, I grew up in Croatia. " he began and Sam sat back to listen to his story. " I met Danijela in school. We grew up together. We got married just out of high school. We were completely in love. She was everything to me. " Sam fought down a surge of jealousy at hearing him talk about another woman. " I have never been happier. We had Jasna, my daughter that next year. " She watched assmilsmiled wistfully. " She had me instantly wrapped around her finger. The day she was born was the greatest day of my life. She was so tiny and perfect and beautiful. My wife absolutely glowed. I was working on my families fishing boat at the time, trying to get through med school. It was exhausting. But it was wonderful. We struggled everyday to make ends meet and there was always fighting. It had increased quite a bit by the time Marko was born two years later, but we were determined to make it out of there. That is why I choose med school to begin with. It wasn't until later that I realized how much I really loved medicine. At first it was just a means of escape for us. " he confided, before pausing to take another bit of food.
" So everything was wonderful. Except for the fighting and the Serbs trying to invade. " Sam said.
Luka looked up at her in shock. " I thought you said, you didn't even know where Croatia was when you met me. "
" I did some reading. I was curious after the trip to the lake. I wanted to find out as much about where you were from as I could. " she explained.
" That's right. " he smiled. " By the time Marko was two UN forces had started to move in. The fighting eased a little but the Serbs still caused us trouble every chance they got. Killing us seemed to be a hobby of theirs. " he said, bitterly.
" Is that what happened ? Were they killed ? " Sam asked, reaching out and taking his hand.
" One day I left for work and I was barely across the street when an artillery shell hit our apartment building. It just crumbled to the ground. There was nothing left of it. " He answered, his voice distant and strained.
Sam got up and knelt beside him. " I'm so sorry. " she said, feeling like that was such a small thing to say to something so devastating.
He put his hand on her check and forced a smile.
" How long ago did it happen ? " she asked, quietly.
" Thirteen years. " he almost whispered.
She felt tears welling up in her eyes at the pain on his face. Suddenly she understood why she so often found him crying at night. The despair that frequently darkened his face made sense now.
She stood up and sat down in his lap as he pulled away from the table. Her arms wrapped around him and she held him as closely as possible. His arms went to her waist and he pulled her tightly against him.
" I'm so sorry you had to go through that. " she whispered into his hair.
He just held her tighter and they stayed like that for what seemed like hours.
Then suddenly, so abruptly she reached out in fear of falling, Luka shifted her in his arms and stood. He walked them to his bedroom and made his way to the bed.
Sam reclined against the pillows and watched him as he settled next to her.
" I want to thank you for being so patient with me." he told her, taking her hand and kissing it.
" You don't have to thank me. " she smiled, resting her free hand against his chest.
" Yes, I do. I want you to know how much you and Alex mean to me. Alex is exactly what I imagined Marko would have been like. " He voice faltered for a moment, but he quickly recovered. " I look at him and it amazes me. It's like I have a second chance at being with my son. "
" He loves you. I can see it. He has never been closer to anyone in his life except me. " she told him, running her fingers through his hair.
" I love him, too. I didn't even know I was still capable of loving anyone. " He sighed and kissed her fleetingly. " I love you, too. " A look of relief came to his eyes, but it was gone quickly and replaced by something much deeper. " I haven't said that to anyone in thirteen years. No one has ever gotten close. "
A tear slide down Sam's check despite her efforts to blink it away. " I love you, too. " she whispered. " I haven't ever said that to anyone and meant it before. "
Luka smiled. " Having you both in my life means so much to me. "
Sam smiled as another tear slid down her check. " I understand that and we are both so happy that we found you. "
He pressed his lips against hers like he was trying to express everything he was feeling through his kiss. Her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. His hands rested on her hips. She pushed herself against him, needing to be as close to him as possible.
" I love you. " he whispered again, as his mouth moved down to her collarbone, sweeping his tongue across the sensitive skin, tasting her.
She groaned and moved her hands to his shoulders, digging her nails into his shirt. " I love you, too. " she breathed against his ear.
They shed their clothing quickly, both feeling a desperate need to feel the other against them without the barriers of clothing. Their hands moved over the familiar territory of each others body, giving and taking as much pleasure as they could. And when they came together, it was perfect. Every movement was like a rehearsed dance as they propelled each other towards release and when it came it was electrifying, causing them both to cry out into the darkness.
She was still trying to pull her way back from the dizzying sensation, when she felt him move to lay beside her, pulling him with her. She managed to make her limbs move enough to curl around him as she rested her head against his chest.
" I don't ever want to be without you. " he whispered, kissing the top of her head softly.
" I don't either. " she answered, breathlessly.
" Stay here with me. " he said, suddenly, as if the thought has just occurred to him.
" I'll stay as long as you'll have me. " she answered.
" No, I mean I want you and Alex to move in here with me. " he corrected her, moving slightly so he could look into her eyes. " I want your face to be the first thing I see every morning and the last thing I see every night. I want you with me all the time. " he paused to take in her expression, but she was too stun to process what he was saying, so he continued. " I want you to be what I come home to after work. I need you here. "
She tried to make her mouth move, to form words, but it just wouldn't co operate. This was all she had ever wanted from life. It was the family she had dreamed of since she was a little girl.
" Sam, " he urged, shaking her slightly. " Say something. "
She laughed as his hand grazed off her ticklish side. " I would love to move in with you. You are all I've ever wanted. "
He kissed her over her laughter, joining her. " I love you. "
She took a deep breath to push the laughter away and touched his check. " I love you, too. " she told him.
They lay together for a long time, just staring and lightly touching each other. Then a dark cloud seemed to come over Luka's face and Sam started.
" What is it ? " she asked.
" What do we do about Steve ? " he answered. " I mean I agreed to be nice to him for you, but I am not inviting him to move in as well. "
She smiled and touched her lips to his. " Then he will just have to find somewhere else to camp. "
Luka smiled back. " Can I tell him, please ? "
Sam chuckled and slapped his chest playfully. " No, because I don't believe you'll play nice. "
Luka tried his best innocent look. " I will, I promise. I won't even hit him, " he paused, for a moment and smiled sheepishly. " Unless he deserves it. "
She laughed and pushed at his chest again. Then her face grew serious and she sighed.
" I would love to let you ride in and take care of Steve for me, but really, I think it's something I need to do. " she explained.
Luka sighed then and shook his head. " I understand. Can I be there when you tell him at least ? "
" All right, but you have to go to Alex's room with him and play while I talk to him. That way you can be there but I can still do it on my own. Okay ? " she compromised.
He considered that for a moment. " Okay, " he finally agreed. " But you will call me if you need me. I said I wouldn't let him hurt you again and I meant it. "
" I appreciate you're concern, but I thin I can handle this, and if I can't you'll be right there to stomp a whole in him. " she smiled in assurance.
" When ? " he asked.
" Tomorrow before work. " she answered. " I'll have to go home and get my uniform and pick Alex up. He's out of school tomorrow and I'll have to take him to work with me. Romano will love that after yesterday. "
Luka smiled. " Don't worry about Romano. I will bring Alex to work with me. He can stay with me all day. He'll love it. "
" Thank you. " she said.
" You don't have to thank me. I want to be in your life now. " he said, running his fingers through her hair. " I don't want to be some outsider that you ask to baby sit. I want to be part of this family. "
" You have no idea what you're getting into. " she teased.
" Yes, I do. " he answered seriously, " And there is no where else I would rather be. "
Sam pulled herself up and kissed him.
" I love you. " he whispered, breaking the kiss.
" Show me. " she told him, moving her mouth to his throat. " Show me how much. "
" Gladly. " he agreed and pulled her against him.