My Big Phat JAG Wedding

JAG H.Q.
Falls Church, VA.
Thursday, March 18, 2004.
11:50 a.m.

"Gunny, are you free for lunch," asks Mac, "My treat."

"Yes, ma'am," he grabs his coat. They take Mac's car out. Harm's in court and just misses her. Gunny can tell she has something on her mind.

"Is there something I can help you with ma'am?"

"I need your help, Marine to Marine. I am looking for the perfect throwaway garter for the wedding."

"Uh, shouldn't Harriet help you ma'am?"

"She could, but she's Navy. I need a Marine."

"I see your point… Looking to stick it to em' ma'am," Gunny asks smiling.

"Something like that, now what would you suggest?"

"How about a singing garter?"

Mac laughs, "How does it work?"

"Well a buddy of mine's wife had one and when he pulled the bow it started playing something. From what I hear, there are kinds that you can record your own message or song."

Mac laughs even harder, "Ok so where could I find one of these things? We don't have much time."

"I believe he said they got it at Mayflowers. It's about 3 blocks from here."

"Perfect."

Mac goes in and picks up two. The throw away garter has green satin with a forest green lace border and a sound mechanism on the front under a white heart. The keepsake garter has navy blue satin with a cobalt blue lace border and a sound mechanism on the front under a white heart. They stop in at a Burger King on the way back to work, being that time was short. Mac noticed Harm's little twinge of jealousy as Mac and Gunny came back with beaming smiles on their faces.


JAG H.Q.
Falls Church, VA.
Saturday, March 20, 2004.
8:00 a.m.

Harriet and A.J. are the last to arrive at the early a.m. meeting. A.J. takes his place at the head of the table in the conference room.
ood ood morning people, Admiral Boone, Miss Rhodes, and Congresswoman Latham. I know some of us would rather be back in bed but we need to be here to keep informed of the wedding plans. Thank god for coffee," A.J. says as Petty Officer Coates walks in with a fresh tray of coffee in cups. Petty Officer 1st Class Jason Tiner follows behind her with a tray of dry creamers, half and half, spoons, and sugar.

Harriet gets up with Little A.J. still asleep on her shoulder to pass on the info.

"I have reorganized the rooms so that we can save on room costs, even though we are already getting room discounts. If we can triple up into suites we'll only need 15 rooms. Commander Mattoni and his wife won't be coming because they have an event to go to that they can't get out of."

"So who's sleeping where, ma'am," asks Coates.

"Well, to start out, in room 1, Mr. and Mrs. Keeter. Then A.J.'s daughter Francesca and her guest, room 2. Skates and her fiancé, room 3. I have no idea what official room numbers we'll have until we all check in. Then we move on to the suites," Harriet says to take a break and sip some coffee while gently rocking Little A.J. in her arms. She hands him off to Bud in his chair.

"Now, in suite 1, Harm's parents and his Grandmother. Suite 2, Mac's Uncle Matt, Mr. Webb, and Agent March. They will be going under assumed names for the weekend, Mr. Lucas Webster and Mrs. Stacy Webster. Please not note of that so we don't call them the wrong names. Mac's old neighbors Carol and Jack Logan will be suite 3 with daughter Ashley. Disney will provide babysitting so all the parents can get to their events. Harm, Sergei, and Chloe's boyfriend are suite 4. Gunny, Marie, Valerie Galindez are suite 5. Mac, Chloe, and Coates are suite 6. Bud, Little A.J., Mikey and I will be suite 7.
A.J., Meredith, and Tiner will be suite 8."

Harriet gets more coffee and continues, "Commanders Coulter, Imes, and Manetti will be suite 9 with their guests. Chaplain Turner, Commander Turner, and Congresswoman Latham are suite 10. And last but not least, Admiral Boone and Miss Rhodes are suite 11. The wedding planner's 11-year-old daughter, Amy, will be staying in their suite at no cost to us. That brings us to 45 people that have R. S. V. P. 'd for the wedding. Everyone that has paid me for your park tickets, they will be delivered to your hotel rooms. If you don't receive them, see the wedding planner or me. Before I forget, her name's Tabby. Yes, just like the cat. We will be having a breakfast banquet when we get there where everyone will be mng Tng Tabby and her daughter Amy.

"I feel that I should give you all a heads up here," says Admiral Boone, "Tabitha and Amy Green is my niece and my great niece. That is also partially why Amy is staying in our suite."

"Oh how wonderful," Harriet says smiling, "Well then I guess we're just going to be one big happy JAG family. My parents will also be coming to visit with Little A.J. for most of the events. Tabby has been fantastic and helped me plan this just right so we have our 15 rooms and the floor has been blocked off for us. I have also arranged for 9 special guests to come for the reception. They will have the floor above us. I am going to let you know that you may be riding elevators with these people, or spotting them in the hotel. Please don't disturb them, I'm sure the hotel will be running security and I don't think A.J. here wants to get a call that one of his people has been kicked out of the hotel for being a nuisance."

"Just who in the hell have you got coming to the reception," jokingly asks Admiral Boone, "The President?"

"No sir, just 9 of the most popular music artists of the most likely, decade. Tabby and my father are handling the costs and
arrangements to have them all here. Harm and Mac just about picked a lot of the same music so I thought it would be nice to have the actual artists come and sing them to them."

"I'm sure it will be a lot of fun Harriet," says Sturgis.

"Excuse me for asking but, how are the plans for the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties going," asks Coates.

"Thank you for reminding me, I'm thinking if we could rearrange a few rooms, we could have Harm's suite and Mac's suite open for the parties, unless Tabby can find somewhere else. I like the private room idea better. That way, we can keep an eye on the bride and groom, and make sure they get tucked in, and away from each other."

"How are we getting there again," asks Sturgis.

"Harm's parents are flying in to pick us up and then we're headed for Florida. When the wedding is over we'll all fly back in their plane."

"Do you think we should make sure they're drugged or something so they don't know which direction they are going in," asks Tiner.

"No, Tiner. I'm going to tell them on the plane at 30,000 feet where they can't do anything about it," says Harriet.

"Are we sure they still don't know about where the wedding is," asks Bobbi.

"I don't think so. We've done well so far, but I can't keep it for much longer. I've been sidestepping the cow paddies so far when they ask, but I think the patience is wearing thin."

"I agree, Harm's bound to start asking questions when things start to smell a little fishy. Who knows, it might be Mac that figures it out first," says Admiral Chegwidden.

"Now today we ladies have our final fittings for the bride and the attendant's dresses. The gentlemen should be making sure their uniforms are clean and pressed and ready to go."


Roberts' Residence.
Somewhere in Washington, D.C.
Thursday, April 1, 2004.
6:00 p.m.

"Tabby, we're going to be having 45 people as I told you last week. I think that should just about do it."

"Yes. I have the wedding itinerary all planned out. I can't wait to meet everyone."

"Oh that reminds me, I didn't know Admiral Tom Boone was your Uncle."

"Oh yeah. We don't keep in contact much, you know I'm down here, he's up there."

"Well, he wants you and Amy to stay in his suite."

"Great. I'll tell Amy. I'll meet you as soon as you check in and then the next morning at breakfast I will address the whole group."

"That's just fine. I am going to be telling Harm and Mac about the wedding at 30,000 feet where they can't do anything."

"I will try and make our meetings short so that the wedding guests can get out and have fun."

"That would be nice."


MacKenzie-Rabb Apartment.
2909 P St NW, Washington. D.C.
12:30 a.m.

Mac is dreaming that her head is on the body of Cinderella. She feels like she is in the cartoon movie. Mac's mother's head was on the wicked stepmother's body, Renee and Lt. Singer's heads were on the wicked stepsisters bodies.

"Renee, Loren!" cried the stepmother, as Mac watches. "Listen to this. The King is giving a ball tonight. His son, the Prince will choose a wife. Every girl in the kingdom must be there."

Mac begins to feel like she is Cinderella in her dream, even though she doesn't understand why, "Then I can go too."

"YOU!" cried Loren and Renee, then they laughed and laughed.

The stepmother smiled and said, "Of course you may go, Mac-erella. You may go IF you do your work first and IF you have a uniform to wear."

"Oh, thank you," says Mac, and she runs to her room.


Some mice lived in Mac-er's 's room. They were her friends. She told them she was going to a Surface Warfare Ball at the palace. She shows them an old uniform.

"It just needs a little fixing."

"Yes, yes, Mac-erelly!" Then Mac leaves to go see what her stepmother wants.

"They make Mac-erelly work, work, work," said a fat mouse with Bud's head on him.

"She will have no time to fix her dress," said a skinny mouse with Gunny's head on him.

"We can do it!" cried the other mice with other JAG heads on them.


Bud and Gunny sneaked into a big room while the stepsisters were dressing for the ball. They dropped buttons and insignia on the floor. Gunny grabbed the insignia. Bud picked ue bue buttons. They took them to Mac's room.

"Look! We found these," said Bud.

"Now we can make Mac-erelly's uniform REALLY pretty," said Gunny.


Mac ran down the stairs.

"Wait!" she called. "I can go now. I have a dress.

The stepmother and the stepsisters could not believe their eyes.

"My buttons!" cried Renee.

"My insignia!" cried Loren.

They ripped both off of Mac's uniform. Mac's uniform was ruined.

"Come along girls," said the stepmother. "The Prince is waiting for you."


And off they went to the palace. Mac was left behind. She ran into the garden and the mice ran after her.

"How I did wish to go to the ball. It's no use, wishes never come true."

"Never, my dear?" said a voice.

Mac looked up. There was a woman with a wand. Harriet's head was on her body.

"I am your fairy godmother, she said. "I am here to give you your wish."

She waved her wand and the pumpkin turned into a coach, the horse turned into a coachman and the dog turned into a footman. The mice turned into white horses.

"Now hop in, Mac."

"But my uniform!" said Mac.

"Oh my, you can't go in a uniform, you need a dress."

She waved her wand again and Mac looked down. Her ruined uniform became a low cut in the back white gown and her shoes became glass slippers.

"Oh, thank you," said Mac.

"Now hop in Mac, but remember the magic end 12. 12."

"I won't forget.


At the ball the King was complaining, the King with A.J.'s head on his body.

"The Prince has met all the girls in the kingdom," he said. "And he has not found one he likes."

"Give him time," said the Grand Duke with Tiner's head on his body.

"He has had enough time!" cried the King.


Just then Mac-erella came into the ballroom. When the Prince saw her, he bowed. He has Harm's head on his body.

"May I have this dance?" he asked showing his killer smile.

"Yes," said Mac.


All night the Prince danced only with Mac. They danced around the floor as if in a dream, which was true, was was dreaming. Everyone said,

"How lovely she is! Who can she be?"


Suddenly the clock struck midnight and Mac ran, and as she was running she lost a glass slipper. When the Prince reached the steps, she was gone. He picked up the glass slipper.

"The girl who wore this slipper is the girl I want to marry," said the Prince. He told the Grand Duke to find her.


The next day the Grand Duke took the glass slipper to every house in the kingdom. At last he came to the house where Mac lived. Mac was up in her room. First Renee tried the slipper, and her foot was much too long.

"Well it isn't a Jimmy Chu shoe. I don't wear anything other than Jimmy Chu's, that's all I have to say," said Renee, who was hung up on designer shoes.

Then Loren tried the slipper, and her foot was much too wide.

"That shoe won't help me become the first woman Judge Advocate General will it? I don't think so," said Loren, who was hung up on her career.

"Are there any other girls in this house?" asked the Grand Duke.

"No," said the stepmother.


Just then Mac came downstairs.

"Who is this?" asked the Grand Duke.

"She is only a Marine," said the stepmother.

"I don't care," said the Grand Duke. "She, too, must try the slipper."

It fit perfectly! Mac smiled as she was dreaming in bed.


Then Mac-erella reached in her pocket and pulled out the other glass slipper. The Grand Duke bowed to Mac.

"You are the girl the Prince says he must marry," said the Grand Duke.


So Mac went to the palace and married trincrince. And they lived happily ever after. Mac rolls in her sleep and throws her arm across Harm's abdomen. Then she snuggles into the right side of his chest. Harm wakes up at the sudden movement and smiles at Mac smiling in her happy sleep. Then he settles back to sleep.


JAG H.Q.
Falls Church, VA.
Friday, April 2, 2004
1:00 p.m.

Mac HarrHarriet are coming back from their lunch break with the wedding gown, the gown for the crossing the colors ceremony and the attendants' dresses and accessories. Mac eats in her office while she goes back to work. Coates takes her dress and puts it over her chair at her desk. Harriet put her dress up in the back of the family van. Mac hangs up Meredith's dress on the coat stand in Tiner's office so that he can remind A.J. to take it home. Sturgis claim's Bobbi's dress because he's got a date with her later that night. Mac stows Chloe's dress with her gowns in her office. Thank god the garment bag they had put them in was black so Harm couldn't see the dress through the plastic.