Would You?

All previous disclaimers apply. Also I do not own "I Need You To Turn To." Those rights belong to Elton John and Bernie Taupin, both much more talented than I.

Author's Note: Once again, very OOC, but I think justifiably in this one. Please remember that there will be two endings to this. One most everyone has probably already guessed and you've all gotten it right! The other…not telling! There's one more chapter before we get to endings. Please tell me what you think if you have a moment. This chapter was hard for me. Thanks. T.H.

Lastly, if you have a moment check out "I Need You To Turn To." It's a beautiful song. I prefer the Live In Australia recording, but the original is beautiful as well.

Puck had known, intellectually, that Thursday was going to be hard. He had expected it. After how Kurt had acted when they weren't together, trying to keep his pain from someone he thought didn't give a shit about him Puck was prepared to notice everything ten times more because Kurt, he hoped, would allow him to see it. But, even knowing hadn't prepared him for how horrible Kurt actually looked, how badly the day was going to affect him. He wasn't dressed to him normal standard, instead wearing an almost exact replica of what he had worn on their first date, only a hat was pulled snuggly over his hair because, Puck could tell by the little fly-aways under the rim, he hadn't bothered to do it that morning and he had left off the vest. Hell, he still looked better than most of the guys that went to McKinley, but the outfit was a red flag for Puck and Mercedes when they met Kurt at his car that morning. Kurt tried to give them a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace and Puck could hear him sniffle as Mercedes hugged him close and tight. He was trembling when Puck finally took him in his arms and it ignited all of the protective instincts Puck had ever had in his body as he wrapped Kurt in his arms, pulling his jacket around the small form to offer some sort of warmth. Kurt buried his cold little nose in Puck's neck and the bigger boy rubbed his back gently.

"Babe, why didn't you just stay home if you're going to feel like this all day?" He whispered as Mercedes looked on at them, tears in her own eyes.

"My dad throws himself into his work every year on this day and it seems to work for him. Usually I wallow. This year I decided to take his approach. I guess we'll see if it works for me, too," Kurt answered, "It's easier knowing you and Mercedes and everyone else will be here all day."

He tried to smile again and this time it looked better, so Puck felt a little more at ease as they headed into the school. There must have been something about the depressed look on Kurt's face and the fiercely protective look on his that warned the slushy toting jocks to stay away from the both of them because though he saw more than a few cups headed their direction none of the cold beverage ever hit either one of them. Puck kept a close eye on Kurt in the classes they shared and worried about him through the ones that they didn't. He'd never seen Kurt so depressed and there was a nagging feeling deep in his gut telling him to do something about it. He spent the first math class he had attended in nearly three years trying to figure out something he could do to brighten Kurt's day in the slightest and when he finally thought of something he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it sooner. He spoke to Mr. Schuester just as lunch started and was glad when their coach gave him permission to do as he requested.

"So you and Kurt, huh, Puck?" Mr. Schuester asked quietly just as Puck was about to leave, "It's not just a rumor?"

"Nope," Puck answered, for once without sarcasm, "Not just a rumor, Mr. Schue."

"Just…be good to each other, okay?"

Puck could only nod. Mr. Schuester was the only person who didn't seem to think that he was the only one who could screw up something as wonderful as his relationship with Kurt. He had said to be good to each other, which meant he knew that there was as much potential for Kurt to hurt him as there was for Puck to hurt Kurt. It kind of took his breath away to know that a man like Will Schuester had as much faith in Noah Puckerman as he did in Kurt Hummel and believed in them both and didn't want to see either of them hurt. It was the first time it had happened in the course of their relationship and, if he was honest, it was the first time it had happened to him in his life.

He walked into the lunch room in a daze of slight confusion at this revelation, but woke up quickly enough to join in with the rest of the gleeks in trying to get Kurt to eat something. Someone must have told Brittany and Santana what a hard day this was going to be for Kurt because they were seated at the glee table trying to coax him into a few bites along with everyone else. Finn and Quinn stared at Puck, disbelieving still, when he sat down next to Kurt and put a comforting arm around his shoulder. But, they nodded in understanding when he gave them a look that clearly stated their questions and the problems they all had with each other would have to wait. They were trumped by Kurt today. They were good enough friends to Kurt that they realized that too.

"I thought I could handle this but I can't…" Kurt whispered just as lunch was ending.

Puck pulled him closer to his side, "Do you want me to take you home?"

"No…I want to be there for Glee. It'll keep my mind occupied. I just don't want to sit in class. Can we…go somewhere close? Just until school lets out?"

"Sure, Kurt. How about we go get a coffee or something and hang out on the field? It's a nice day."

"That sounds perfect, Noah. Thank you."

When they were settled in the middle of the field, Kurt laying comfortably half on and half off of Puck and nearly asleep as Puck rubbed his back he finally said what he had been fearing to say all day and nearly all his life it seemed, "Do you think it's silly…to still be so affected? I mean, she died when I was eight. I don't even really remember much about her. Just how she smelled, how she looked. Sometimes when I'm nearly asleep I think I almost remember how her laugh sounded, how it felt when she held me, but I'm never quite sure that it's not just my imagination."

"It's not just your imagination," Puck assured him, "And no. You're not silly. You loved your mom. Doesn't matter how long she's been gone. It's natural that it hurts, makes you feel raw inside. Don't even worry about any of us thinking you're silly because we never will. Got it?"

"Got it," Kurt murmured, "Do you still get…raw inside…over your father?"

Puck took a deep breath and pulled Kurt a little closer to his chest, "Sometimes. But, mine's not because I loved him. He was a bastard who beat on me and my mom whenever the urge hit him. My mom tried to get us away from him so many times, but he just kept finding us. He would be so sorry, hug us both, cry, kiss our faces, tell us things were going to be different. Mom believed him so many times and he just broke her heart again and again. When she found out she was pregnant with Miri something in her snapped. The first time he came after her while she was pregnant she pulled a kitchen knife on him. Told him that if he ever came near her or me again she'd kill him. He packed a bag that night and we never saw him again. So, when I get raw most of it is still anger that I couldn't have done something before my mom had to pull a knife on the guy."

"Noah…" Kurt looked up at him, "How old were you?"

"I was eight, too," Puck said, looking down at him.

"I always thought he'd just left all of you. I never knew about everything else. You never told me."

"Kurt…" Puck cupped his face in a gentle hand, "I never told anyone. Things got so much better after that. Ma always had to work hard and we never really had anything great, but we had enough. Just the three of us. Everything was cool until I started fucking up. But… don't feel sorry for me. I don't think that I could stand that."

"I don't feel sorry for you, Noah. I ache for the little boy you never got to be. I'm upset that your father gave you such a skewed sense of love that you had to go out and…well, we both know what you did before us. But, I'll never feel sorry for you. You're not the person he almost made you, Noah. You're not. You're so much more and so much better. I always thought you could be and now I know it. You're changing. You have changed. You're…you…" He buried his face in Puck's chest, blushing a bright red, "I don't want to sound ridiculous, but you're everything I've ever…dreamed of."

"That does sound ridiculous," Puck said flatly, then grinned when Kurt looked up at him, annoyance playing across his features. It was such a relief when all that had been on his face all day was a kind of lack of expression that didn't belong on Kurt's face ever that Puck began to laugh. Kurt managed to look annoyed for five more seconds before he began giggling and buried his face in Puck's chest once more until they both calmed and laid in the comfortable silence, looking up at the clouds that drifted by slowly.

"Thank you…" Kurt whispered, "For making me laugh."

The bell rang and they both looked up and across the field. "Ready for Glee?" Puck asked quietly.

"Yes. Bolstered and prepared," Kurt said. He leaned up to take Puck's lips in a gentle kiss before he stood and held out a hand to help his boyfriend up.

"You think that your dad will loosen the noose enough to let you come hang out after practice?" Puck asked as they walked back toward the school, hands clasped tightly.

"This is the one night of the year he allows himself to go out and get drunk off of his ass. Carlos, the other mechanic in his shop, drags him home at about five in the morning. He's a good friend. I never stay at home for it. Usually I stay with my grandparents. Last year I stayed with Mercedes. This year I had planned to stay with you. If that's okay?"

"Don't be like that," Puck nudged him with his shoulder, "You know it's okay. Why don't we just leave your car here tonight? I can just drive you to school in the morning."

"And leave my baby in a public parking lot unattended all night long? I think not. We can leave your truck if you insist on driving together. There's less of a chance of anything happening to it. No one wants to break into a POS like that."

"I can't believe you just said POS," Puck laughed and wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulder as they walked into the room, pleased that he had a little of his spark back.

"All right," Mr. Schuester started the rehearsal as he started so many of the others, hands clasped in an excitement that none of them were sure they were going to be able to reciprocate. He'd had some awful ideas, after all, "Before we get started on our new number for regionals one of your own would like to make a special presentation. So, without further ado…Puck, take it away."

Kurt looked at him, surprised, but Puck only motioned for him to go sit by Mercedes as he got up. He grabbed his guitar, already out on its stand and waiting for him and one of the stools they used for True Colors. He kept his eyes down as he sat on the stool and made sure his guitar was still tuned. He was suddenly nervous and he wasn't entirely sure why, but this would please Kurt and that was all that mattered. So, he fought his nerves down and made a couple of minor adjustments to his tuning before looking up and smiling at all of them.

"This is for Kurt," He said simply, knowing that the rest of the glee club already knew that, but needing to say it out loud for himself. Kurt smiled at him gently, still looking confused, and didn't take his eyes off of him as he began to play. It was a simple song, really, and short, but the lyrics were what had attracted him to it in the first place and he put every effort into making sure Kurt understood what he was trying to say with them.


You're not a ship to carry my life.
You are nailed to my love in many lonely nights.
I've strayed from the cottages and found myself here.
Oh, I need your love. Your love protects my fears.

And I wonder sometimes.
And I know I'm unkind.
But I need you to turn to when I act so blind.
And I need you to turn to when I lose control.
You're my guardian angel who keeps out the cold.

Did you paint your smile on when I said I knew
That my reason for living was for loving you?
We're related in feeling, but you're high above.
You're pure, and you're gentle with the grace of a dove.

And I wonder sometimes.
And I know I'm unkind.
But I need you to turn to when I act so blind.
And I need you to turn to when I lose control.
You're my guardian angel who keeps out the cold.


He looked down during as he began the second verse and didn't look up again until he had finished and the glee club remained silent. He was worried until he looked at Kurt and saw the tears running down his face and the gentle smile on his face. Mercedes was holding his hand and tears were in her eyes as well. In fact, tears were in all of the girl's eyes, he noticed. And the guys even looked impressed. He would have smirked in accomplishment if any of that had mattered. But, it didn't. What mattered was Kurt. Kurt who was standing and coming toward him slowly. He stood and set his guitar on the stool just as Kurt reached him. Kurt stood before him for only a moment before Puck realized what he wanted and opened his arms to invite the smaller boy in.

"Thank you," Kurt whispered in his ear, one hand running over his Mohawk. Puck buried his face in Kurt's neck. And it was so much more than enough.

"Do you feel like anything particular for dinner?" Puck asked quietly when they were at his apartment later that night, tucked together on the couch and spending their time not really watching whatever was on the television.

"I'm not hungry," Kurt murmured.

"Babe, you haven't really eaten all day. And you're small enough as it is. How about something simple? I can make grilled cheese or mac and cheese or…nope, that's about the extent of my cooking skills. Pick one."

Kurt looked at the determined look on his face and sighed, "Grilled cheese would be okay. Do you have any tomato soup?"

They ate their simple dinner in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable at all. In fact, it was the most comfortable Puck had been all day. Kurt wasn't looking down anymore. He was looking…content was the only way Puck knew how to put it. Calm was another word that described how his boyfriend looked at he ate. He smiled when he looked up and saw Puck watching him. They did their few dishes side by side and when the last one was put back in the cabinet Kurt turned to Puck and smiled softly again.

"Noah…will you take me to bed now?"

"If that's what you want, babe."

"It's what I want, Noah."

"All right then."

Kurt didn't even made a protestation when Puck picked him up and carried him down the short hall to his room. There was something different about tonight, Puck realized, and was more grateful than he could say that they had the chance at all to come to this point. He set Kurt down on his feet when they reached his room and cupped his face in his hands to kiss him gently. Kurt returned the slow, deep kiss with a passion that was more like a slow burn compared to their normal raging fire. They undressed each other slowly without words. And when Puck laid Kurt on his bed it was on his back. He watched Kurt's every expression, listened for every murmured encouragement, as he prepared the smaller boy slowly, no hurry. Kurt reached out to lace their fingers together as Noah slid into him. Noah gasped at the sensation of being one with another person. He'd had sex more than anyone twice his age should have. But, it had never been like this. This was…so much…too much. He closed his eyes tight as they moved together like they had always been meant to be together this way. It was Kurt who laid his free hand against his cheek and began to murmur comfort, knowing what was going on his boyfriend's mind.

"It's all right, Noah. Just give into it. Don't fight it."

Noah opened his eyes again and looked down at Kurt, bathed in moonlight, so alive, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He leaned down to kiss him. Kurt returned the impossibly tender kiss and felt the tears come into his eyes when Noah pulled back and pushed back the hair that had fallen into his eyes gently. They murmured words without meaning to each other as they rocked together for what felt like an eternity. When they did finally fall over the edge together the release was long and lasting and they laid in each other's arms quietly for a long time before either of them spoke.

When Kurt did finally speak again, it was quiet, almost a whisper, "I love you, Noah."

Puck smiled down at Kurt as gently as he knew how before kissing him tenderly, "What you and I have, Kurt," He said quietly, hating himself for not being able to say the words, but hoping this would do, "It's forever. You know that, don't you?"

"I do," Kurt smiled up at him and it was so sweet that Puck's heart caught in his throat, "Forever…"

Puck kissed his forehead gently as Kurt slipped off into sleep. He waited until he was sure that Kurt was sleeping deeply before he transferred him gently onto the pillow and stole away into the living room. The first sob, as he sat on the edge of the couch, head buried in his hands, didn't surprise him. He bit his knuckle to keep himself from keening, but did nothing to stop the tears. It wasn't fair. He felt defeated. He felt broken. It wasn't fair that he should fall so in love with someone, with Kurt, only to be faced with the knowledge that he would die the next day. He had meant what he told Artie. He couldn't watch Kurt die like that again. He wouldn't be able to bear it. But, he couldn't let Kurt die alone either. So, he would have to be there. He would have to watch it all over again. Then, he would come home, his hands still covered in Kurt's blood, and he would drink down every single sleeping pill in his mother's medicine cabinet with the whiskey she didn't know was still hidden in the bookcase from when his father had bothered to try hiding his alcoholism. He was sorry that she and Miri would come home to that, but he'd write them a letter explaining that he just couldn't live in a world where Kurt didn't.

"Noah, no!"

He jerked his head up when the familiar voices cried out at the same time. The ladies were all in front of him, tears running down Their faces. Aziza was covering her mouth in shock. Crystal was gripping her hair in tight fists. Sakura was reaching out to him. He fell to his knees, unaware of his nakedness in his sorrow, and allowed Them to wrap him in Their comforting arms.

"I can't live without him!" He sobbed, no longer bothering to control the volume of his voice. He wailed, a sound he didn't recognize as coming from his body. The ladies held him all the closer, sobbing with him.

"There is a way," Sakura finally said when all of them had exhausted their tears, "We've already overstepped our bounds with you. We weren't supposed to tell you."

"But we will," Aziza stroked his hair gently, "This week wasn't supposed to end in the loss of two lives. We wouldn't be able to bear it. We didn't think…we should have thought…we're so sorry, Noah Puckerman."

"What way?" Puck demanded, taking only what he needed from Aziza's statement, "What can I do?"

"It still involves a death, Noah," Crystal said, her voice smoother, gentler, than Puck had ever heard it, "Someone has to die. The Balance won't be satisfied otherwise."

"Who?" Puck asked quietly, already knowing.

"If…" Sakura swallowed and began again, "If you were willing to give your life for Kurt, to take his place…his death…the Balance will be satisfied and Death will write a new time for Kurt, much further down the line."

"How much further?" Puck asked, "Show me."

Aziza set a hand to his forehead and when he closed his eyes he saw Kurt. He knew it was Kurt instinctively but he wouldn't have recognized him. Because Kurt was old. Very old. He was in a large bed surrounded by people of all ages, another old man holding his hand gently, two middle aged women sitting on the bed with him, his daughters, Puck knew, telling him to go if he was in pain. That they would all miss him, but they would love him forever and he would never really leave them. Grandchildren kissed him goodbye. A great-grandchild, just an infant, named for him, was laid with him for a moment. Then, they all left the room except for the other old man, who obviously loved Kurt more than anything and moved his old body slowly to lay in the bed with him. He was still whispering how much he loved him when Kurt took his last breath and passed peacefully. In his sleep.

"Please go away now," Puck sobbed when he came back to himself, "Just go away. I need to think."

"No matter what you choose," Crystal kissed his forehead where Aziza's hand had been moments before, "We love you, Noah."

And They were gone.

Noah dragged himself to his feet with effort and then to the bathroom without really knowing what he was doing. He washed his face free of all tear tracks, waited until his eyes were not quite so red anymore, and walked back to his room. He looked at Kurt sleeping peacefully and knew that there was nothing to think about. He stood in his window for a long time, wishing that his mother was there, that he'd gotten to at least hug his sister, lost in thoughts of regret and knowing he was making the right choice.

"Mmm…Noah?" Kurt was only half awake when Noah turned around to look at him. He smiled at the way Kurt was holding the blanket to his waist modestly with one hand and reaching out for him with the other, "What are you doing?"

"Thinking." He answered truthfully.

"Come back to bed," Kurt said quietly and Noah obeyed. He slipped into the bed, sighing when Kurt settled against him and fell back to sleep almost immediately. He kissed Kurt's hair gently and closed his eyes. But, he didn't sleep.

"Love you," Kurt sighed in his sleep, "Forever."

"Forever, Kurt…" Noah whispered back, "Forever."