Slave To Rome

CHAPTER ELEVEN - INSTINCTUAL NEEDS

The next day when I was with Marga, I started the lie. We were sitting together outside going over battle strategies, while Eve was sitting on the far side of the main clearing, writing in a scroll. When it was clear Marga had finished with what we were going to go over today I attempted to get the conversation going.

“What do you make of Eve?” I asked her.

Marga looked up at me, surprised. I couldn’t blame her, I had never asked her opinion on another woman. “Why do you ask?” she countered curiously.

“I’m just wondering,” I said evasively while I looked at Eve across the clearing.

“Well,” Marga started, “She seems like a nice girl. She’s very strong, I can tell even though she tries to suppress it. I guess though, having Xena as a mother would provide that. She seems very secretive though, like she doesn’t want anyone to find out her vulnerabilities.”

I didn’t look at Marga, just continued to stare at Eve. “She’s very beautiful, don’t you think?”

Marga gasped and hit my leg lightly, making me look at her. “Varia... are you trying to tell me that for the first time in your life you might be interested in someone?”

I flushed red involuntarily and mumbled, “I don’t know...”

Marga laughed a little and teased, “You know the whole tribe thought you were asexual. Being the age you are, and never once finding an interest in a man or a woman. Guess your just a late bloomer, huh?”

I flushed a deeper shade of red and mumbled, “StuffitMarga.”

“Aww come on Varia, I’m sorry, but I just find it cute.”

“Great,” I said sarcastically, while I tried as hard as I could to make the redness in my cheeks fade.

“Do you know if she’s interested in you?” Marga asked, and I just shrugged.

“Well why don’t you.... wait, we might end up finding out in a second anyway,” Marga said, interrupting herself as she noticed Eve was heading in our direction.

“Varia, right?” Eve asked me when she came over. I did all I could to not blurt out how convincing that sounded. I opted for just staying silent and nodding my head, at least maybe making it look like I was nervous around Eve.

“You know, I watched you spar this morning,” Eve said as she slid next to me on the log I was sitting on.

“Oh?” I replied, not sure where she was trying to go with this.

“Yeah...” she said, and she lightly brushed her hand over my thigh, making me slightly jump out of instinct. “I love what you can do with your body, you must have amazing muscle structure.”

I tried not to laugh, she was playing this up like part innocent seductress, part bar wench. I composed myself and replied, “Well... I work out... a lot.”

“I can see that,” she said in almost a purr as her eyes roamed my body. “Would you mind teaching me some moves later?” She cocked an eyebrow at me, like she was suggesting more than she was saying.

“Y-Yeah... sure,” I stuttered, though it wasn’t because I was trying to stay in character, it was because of what Eve implied, because it seemed like she wasn’t implying it in character.

“Great,” she said before rising. “I’ll see you a little later then.” She gave me a coy little smirk before practically strutting off. I just stood there in shock, staring after her.

“I guess that answers my question,” Marga said, laughing. She patted my back and giggled at my shocked look. “You okay there, killer?”

“What?” I said, looking back at Marga. “Oh yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

Marga laughed before she rose, “Alright, good luck with Eve. Though the way she practically just drooled on you, I doubt you’ll need it.”

********

Later that evening, I was in my hut getting ready for dinner, when all of a sudden I hear a noise from the window behind me. Grabbing my dagger, I whipped around, only to be greeted with the sight of Eve, standing in front of it.

I put the dagger down and said, “Gods, what are you trying to do, give me a heart attack? And what are you doing here, you so shouldn’t be here right now, and you so shouldn’t be climbing through my window this soon!”

Eve didn’t say anything, just reached her hand behind her back. I was about to ask again when suddenly her shirt fell from her body, exposing the naked top half of her body to my eyes. My breath caught in my throat and I took a step back automatically so I wouldn’t topple over.

“You were going to teach me some moves, remember?” She replied innocently, advancing towards me. She backed me up against the wall, and her naked breasts pressed against me. Her breath was on my lips and she whispered, “Or maybe you’d just like me to teach you some of mine...”

My breathing got heavy, and I could feel myself growing wet under my skirt. She touched my face, making me close my eyes, and she ran her fingertips delicately over my neck and down towards my breasts. Removing the clasp that held my top together, it fell from my body, making my bare breasts touch her own. I moaned instinctively from the feeling of her skin against mine after all these years, but I had to keep my wits about me. This was so dangerous right now.

“What are you doing?” I whispered with my eyes still closed. “We cant do this right now, you know that....”

Eve kissed my neck, and I bit my lower lip softly to keep myself from moaning again. I clenched my hands into fists, trying to fight off the urge to just take her right there, and not care if anyone knows.

“I’ve been without your touch for two years, I can’t wait any longer,” she replied as she bit the nape of my neck softly.

“Eve...” her name came out as a soft moan as her hands started to trail over my stomach lightly. “We need to wait at least a couple days.... please.... we.... mmmm....” My sentence was interrupted by her hand finding my nipple, and playing with the very tip of it lightly, making me lose all thought and surrender to the feeling.

“I bet if I touched you, the amount of liquid dripping down your thighs right now would tell me you really don’t want to wait,” she countered as she started to rake her nails lightly up my thigh.

“I don’t!” I gasped out as her fingers brushed lightly over my clit from underneath my skirt. “But... But we have to...”

I finally gather enough strength to push her back off of me a little and finish, still in labored breathing from the feelings she was doing to me, “Is laying with me right now really worth the price we could pay?”

Eve just looked at me, not more than a couple paces in front of me, and I saw a look I’ve never seen before flash across her face. She never said anything, she just turned and grabbed her shirt, and started to put it back on on her way back over to the window to leave.

“Eve!” I said, trying to get her to come back. She didn’t turn around, so I walked briskly over to her and grabbed her shoulder lightly to turn her to face me, “Eve! What’s...” But I stopped as I saw tears running down her face, and I finished with, “...wrong?” before she shoved me off of her and turned away again.

“I’m fine, forget it, I’ll see you at dinner.”

I just looked at her incredulously, “Eve, don’t do this to me.”

“Don’t do what?” she asked as tied her shirt together, still not looking at me.

“Your shutting me out. You cried in front of me yesterday, why can’t you today? Why can’t you tell me what’s wrong?” I asked as I started to put back on my own shirt.

“You’ve always been so smart and intuitive, you tell me,” she replied in slightly condescending tone.

I was silent for a minute, then replied quietly, “You haven’t been happy at all since I left Rome... have you?”

Eve was silent to for a minute, then whispered so low I barely heard what she said. “I haven’t been able to feel since you left me. I just wanted to feel again...”

I put my hand on her shoulder, and she slowly turned to look at me. I pressed my thumb across her cheek lightly to wipe away her tear stained face and replied, “You know it’s not that I don’t want to... I do... believe me it’s all I’ve been thinking about since I first saw you here. But it’s dangerous, and you know that.”

“Since when is an Amazon afraid of a little danger?” she asked, looking me in the eyes, still begging for me to take her.

“Since it might result in your death... in possibly our death. And if I had to choose between having you now, and waiting a couple more days to have you for the rest of my life, I choose the latter.”

“I just don’t want to feel empty anymore...” Eve whispered.

“If it’s only my body, and not me, that can make you feel whole again, then you lied to me when you told me you loved me,” I said, stepping back from her a little.

“That’s not... no... Varia,” Eve said, stepping towards me. “It’s just that... I remember how I felt when I was with you, it was like every emotion in the world was bursting to get out of me. I felt like I was a part of you... I...” she stopped for a minute then finished. “Sexual pleasure is the only thing I ever knew my whole life, it’s what defines who I am and how I feel.”

“Sex doesn’t define who you are,” I said, looking at her confused, wondering how she could even think that.

“The first time you laid with me, it wasn’t because of who I was, it was because of how my naked body made you feel.”

“What?” I said in disbelief. “Is that what you think?”

“That’s how it seemed. Regardless, sex was the only thing I ever could offer you, and you know that.”

I shook my head at her and walked away from her, staring at the wall for a minute, my back still turned from her. “That wasn’t the only thing you offered me, Livia.”

I said her old name to try to bring her back to those days, or maybe because my mind was stuck in those days. I could feel her body tense up behind me from the sound of it, but she didn’t freak out like I thought she would.

“Then what else did I offer you, Amazon?” she countered.

I turned to face her and replied, “Hope.”

Eve scoffed and said, “Hope that what? That since you finally realized how weak I was when I was around you, how bad it was that I needed you, that maybe you wouldn’t die in Rome like you thought?”

“You’re not weak, Eve.”

“Ha!” she exclaimed loudly, “I would have given you the world if only you asked for it, I would have worshiped every inch of your skin all the time if only you let me! I had so many feelings for you I didn’t know what to do, or how to handle them, or what to say! I could feel myself burning for you every second of every day and I could never control it! Explain to me how that wasn’t weak!”

“Why don’t you have Eli explain it to you,” I suggested. She was silent for a moment, and I continued, “You understand the power of Eli’s selfless love, but you don’t understand the power of your own.”

I must have touched something, because she didn’t have a retort. Instead she slowly sat on my cot, and put her head in her hands. “Another reason why I don’t understand why I’m his Messenger.”

I sighed a little, and crossed the room to sit next to her on the cot. Putting my hand on her thigh I said, “You will one day, I’m sure of that. But until then, stop stressing about being perfect on this new path of yours. It’s human to make mistakes, and to learn from them. Doing it at the natural pace it’s supposed to progress, will benefit you more than you trying to be the perfect peacemaker that’s filled with love all at once.”

Eve nodded slightly, and I put my arm around her. “I do love you Eve, no matter how much you try to fight it because you don’t think you deserve it.”

“I guess I haven’t changed that much, have I?” Eve asked, looking up at me.

“You’ve changed so much more than you know, and I think it’s amazing.”

TBC....