The Amadeus Effect

A/N: This chapter rated A++
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In his dreams Daniel was being chased by an enormous swarm of bees. No matter how fast he ran they managed to surround him, stinging him everywhere, until he succumbed to his surging panic.
Daniel woke up shouting, his hands fending off a swarm of bees that didn’t exist. But the stinging pain was real enough. He suddenly found himself yanked backwards and engulfed in a strong embrace. He struggled, still wrapped up in the frightening images from his nightmare.

“Daniel, it’s okay. It’s me,” said Jack, his head turned towards Daniel’s so his mouth was right next to his ear.
The sound of Jack’s voice had an instant effect on Daniel. The nightmare fled to the far reaches of his mind and he rolled into Jack’s embrace, their lips meeting by unspoken consent.

“Jack,” Daniel panted. “It’s getting stronger.”

“I know,” Jack answered as he peppered Daniel’s throat with small wet kisses.

“It’s a pattern. I figured it out—the greater the contact between us, the longer I can go without being touched…but the more contact I need when the pain returns.”

“I noticed.”

Daniel was silent for a moment, losing himself in Jack’s caresses as the other man’s mouth ventured past the hollow of his clavicle to lick a trail down his chest—it was a struggle for Daniel to remain focused enough to keep talking. “Jack, I don’t think we’ll be able to stop this time,” he gasped at last, just as the point of Jack’s tongue began teasing circles around his nipple. Heat flooded down to his groin, and Daniel bucked against Jack, eager to build up some friction.

“Mmm…” Jack replied, clearly not paying much attention.

“It’s too soon. We’re not ready,” Daniel panted, his nails digging into the flesh of Jack’s back.

Jack’s head lifted in concern as Daniel’s words finally sank in. “We can stop any time you want, Daniel,” he promised solemnly. “You’ll be okay for a while if we just keep on doing what we’ve been doing. If you’re not ready for more…”

Daniel stared up at the ceiling and took a deep breath to steady his shaky nerves. “I want more, Jack,” he admitted to the ceiling. “I’m ready for more—but we have no idea what we’re doing.”

“Speak for yourself,” said Jack with a shit-eating grin.

Daniel’s eyes snapped down to meet Jack’s and his expression morphed from one of confusion to one of astonishment when he saw that Jack wasn’t joking. “You read the book? When? How?”
Jack chuckled. “I think the how is pretty much self explanatory. I may not be a doctor of anything, but I do know how to read.” Daniel smacked him in the arm for being so cheeky. “Ow!”

“Answer the question.”

“Alright! It’s no big deal,” said Jack, still grinning. “It’s not like I read the entire book—just the important bits.”

Daniel was speechless, touched beyond reason that Jack would willingly pick up that book and read it for him.

Jack twitched a little under Daniel’s intensely grateful gaze. Feeling his face get warm in what could be interpreted as a blush. “Like I said—no big deal. I just…I wanted to do this right. I didn’t want your memory of our first time to suck, you know? After all, I do have a reputation to live up to.”

Daniel smiled. “It’s not like anyone else is ever going to know,” he said, secretly wondering if Jack was even aware he’d said ‘first time’…as in ‘first time of many’.

“You’d know,” Jack countered. “And yours is the only opinion that matters.” They were silent for a while and Jack tried to read Daniel’s thoughts. “You know that I care about you…right?” he asked at last.

Daniel’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Of course I know you care,” he said, as if it was a stupid question.

Jack peered back at the younger man and saw plainly that he didn’t get it at all. Jack opened his mouth, intending to explain exactly what he meant by ‘care’, but it had taken so long to get Daniel comfortable with him that Jack didn’t want to risk rocking the boat with an ill-timed declaration of ‘care’.

“Never mind,” Jack said, realizing Daniel was waiting for him to say something. “So…”

“So…this is awkward,” said Daniel.

“It would be less awkward if we stopped talking,” Jack suggested with a semi-smirk. Daniel shrugged back his agreement and, with a bit of manoeuvring, he pulled Jack down on top of him and was putting his lips to better use.

Daniel was a good kisser—or so he’d been told by the few women he’d kissed—but kissing Jack was a completely different experience. For one thing, Daniel was enjoying it; kissing had always felt like a bit of a chore to him—something to do to make his partner happy. But somehow, kissing Jack felt right, felt natural. No one else had ever made his blood rush the way Jack did, and it made Daniel wonder, fleetingly, if this was it—if Jack was ‘the one’. It didn’t bear thinking about, though, because despite Jack’s slip of the tongue earlier, Jack wouldn’t be doing this if there had been any other option. And there certainly wouldn’t be a next time.

Daniel tried to push those thoughts aside, but the emotional strain of the last few days had taken its toll on him and he felt hot, prickling tears building up in his eyes.

Jack sensed something was wrong and pulled back. “Daniel?” he asked, stroking the other man’s temple with the pad of his thumb as he searched into watery blue eyes. He felt a fresh wave of shame for having been enjoying himself so thoroughly when it was obviously a painful experience for Daniel.

Daniel shook his head, not wanting to speak, and began kissing Jack with renewed purpose. If one night was all he could get, he would take it and be grateful. To his great relief, Jack got with the program and pretended nothing had happened. For once Daniel was grateful that Jack was a man of action instead of a man of words.

Jack took his time, slowly exploring Daniel’s arms, throat and chest, worried that Daniel was on the verge of calling a halt to the proceedings. In an attempt to assuage Daniel’s fears, he put everything he felt for the man into his kisses and into his gently possessing caresses, and the power of his true feelings created an almost palpable charge in the air between them. Before long, Daniel was squirming and gasping beneath him, his chest heaving as his hands fisted the sheet beneath him.

Daniel was so caught up in the moment that he hardly noticed when Jack removed their boxer shorts, taking away the last barrier between them—the last means of escape. It was only when he felt the slick heat of Jack’s penis rubbing against his own that he realized how utterly vulnerable he was. He needed to slow things down, to take control before the panic set in again. With some reluctance, Daniel gently pushed Jack off him—just far enough so he could get a good look at him.

Jack backed off instantly, letting Daniel take his time, even though his dick was aching to make contact again. He could tell that his friend wasn’t calling it quits—just taking a breather—and then he saw Daniel’s eyes go wide with fear as they alighted on Jack’s hard, weeping cock. Jack felt Daniel’s entire body tense up and could actually see Daniel’s galloping pulse below the skin in the hollow of his throat.

“Whoa, Danny! Take it easy,” said Jack, knowing exactly what was going through the other man’s head.

“I don’t think that’s gonna fit, Jack,” said Daniel, his voice tinted with an edge of hysteria.

“I guess it would be callous of me to say thank-you?” said Jack, immediately regretting the flippant remark. “Seriously, Daniel—we’ll go slow. It’ll be fine, I promise.”

Rationally, Daniel knew Jack was right, but he was having a hell of a time convincing his body of that. From head to toe, every muscle in his body had clenched tight as if ready to fend off an attack.

“Right,” said Jack decisively. “Turn over.” When Daniel’s eyes went even wider, he added, “for a massage, Daniel. It’ll help you relax.”

Daniel hesitantly obeyed, flipping over to lie on his stomach, head propped up on his hands so he could easily check over his shoulder. “You any good at this?” he asked in an attempt to sound casual.

“The best,” Jack answered smugly as he dug his thumbs into the knotted muscles of Daniel’s shoulders. Daniel grunted and tensed up even more, but within minutes Jack’s hands had worked their magic and he felt his stress starting to melt away along with the knots.

Jack smiled to himself as he watched Daniel’s eyes flutter contentedly shut. Jack was pretty sure no one had ever done this for his friend, if the rock-hard muscles in his back were anything to go by, and he decided that when this was over, he’d make this a weekly tradition. It was gratifying to see the young man so relaxed because of him. A little too relaxed, actually, Jack realized as Daniel’s breathing evened out into the rhythm of sleep. He decided it was time to try spicing things up a bit.

It didn’t take much to get Daniel’s full attention. All it took was for Jack’s hands to venture past the small of his back to knead the pert flesh of his ass, and Daniel snapped his head up in surprise.

Daniel peered over his shoulder as Jack continued to massage his butt. Daniel maintained eye contact, thinking along the same lines he did when Janet had a needle poised at his arm—it always hurt less when you took away the element of surprise. He discovered that he was no longer scared or even tense—he was just curious as to what Jack would do next.

Jack saw in Daniel’s lazy gaze that he had permission to continue. His heart beat overtime as he realized that this was it—whether he was ready or not, he was about to cross that final line, and there would be no turning back.
He took a deep breath and stretched his full length over top of Daniel’s body. He started with a butterfly-soft kiss at the nape of his neck, inhaling the scent of Daniel’s skin and the clean fragrance of shampoo and soap.

Daniel gave Jack an appreciative “Mmm,” as warm lips pressed kisses against every one of his vertebra, making side trips to visit the odd rib along the way. His touch was mesmerizing, focusing his attention down to where Jack was heading, but in a way that inspired anticipation rather than fear. Every kiss to his massage-heated back was an affirmation of their trust and friendship, and left him wanting more. The last kiss, placed softly at the base of his tailbone, sent a shiver of pure need up Daniel’s spine as all his blood pounded down to his groin in a mad rush.

“Hang on, Danny,” Jack whispered, and left the bed.

“Jack!” Daniel called piteously—not because he was in pain, but because he desperately wanted him to come back and finish what he’d started.

Jack was at his side in a heartbeat. “Right here, Daniel,” he said, placing a warm hand at the small of Daniel’s back in reassurance.

“I’m ready, Jack,” Daniel said, looking back at him through a veil of lashes.

Jack swallowed hard and tried to reign in his rampant heartbeat. Daniel’s soft-spoken declaration, combined with the feast of smooth skin laid out before him in invitation, had him practically drooling and mindless with lust.

“Okay, Daniel,” Jack said in as calm a voice as he could. His fingers were shaking so hard he almost dropped the bottle of lubricant when he went to pick it up.

“Relax, Jack,” said Daniel, pillowing his head against his folded arms. “You’ll do fine.”

Jack shook his head and chuckled. It figured that Daniel would be the one to dispense reassurances when he should have been on the receiving end instead. Jack concentrated on taking care of the mechanics, which had the added bonus of preventing him from chickening out. He carefully positioned Daniel, pillow under his hips to get the angle just right, and this time, when Jack set out to use the lubricant, he was calm enough to keep his hands steady. He was bolstered by the fact that Daniel hadn’t panicked so far. Still, with the acid test about to commence, panic was still a distinct possibility.

“You relaxed?” asked Jack nervously. Daniel’s ‘yes’ was muffled by a pillow, but Jack heard it—couldn’t pretend he hadn’t.
Jack pumped some of the clear, viscous lubricant onto his palm and coated the fingers of his right hand. Well, he thought, here goes nothing…

Daniel closed his eyes as he felt a slick finger slip between his legs to make its way along the crack of his ass. He knew what was coming and he knew better than to tense up, so he forced himself to remain calm and relaxed. When the first finger finally breached him and slowly slid into his body, Daniel released a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding. It wasn’t so bad, he thought, as the slick finger eased further inside. It was a little uncomfortable and definitely a 10 on the weird sensation scale, but it didn’t hurt. In fact, in a strange way, it was rather enjoyable.

And then a second finger joined the first, and Daniel rapidly changed his mind. It hurt—it burned, and it was anything but enjoyable. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and he had to grit his teeth hard to avoid shouting out. Then, suddenly, it was over. Jack was bending over him, kissing the back of his neck, and the fingers were gone. Daniel whimpered in relief.

“Danny, I’m so sorry—I must have done something wrong,” Jack said, curling up behind him in a loose hug.

“No, Jack—I’m the one who’s sorry,” said Daniel, turning to face him. “I want this to work, Jack. I want to do this, I do…I just didn’t know what to expect. Maybe, if you go a little slower this time…?”

“Are you sure?” asked Jack. He knew Daniel was tough enough to handle it, but he absolutely hated being the one to cause him pain.

“I’m sure,” Daniel answered honestly. He could tell Jack wasn’t a hundred percent on board with the idea of trying again, so Daniel reassured him with a long, sweet kiss. Jack looked dazed when he at last broke away. It took a moment for him to refocus and get down to business again. As Jack got back into position and tried to shift Daniel back onto his stomach, Daniel protested. “Uh-uh. I want to watch. I want to be able to see your face,” he said.

Jack looked down at Daniel’s determined face with concern. “It won’t be as easy that way,” he warned.

“I need to be able to see you,” Daniel stated once more with certainty.
When they were once again ready to start over, Daniel was surprised to find that the first finger went in much easier, and even the second one didn’t hurt like it had the first time. Seeing Jack’s face—the gentle concentration and tenderness displayed there—made it much easier for Daniel to stay calm.

And Jack was following Daniel’s advice and going more slowly this time. So slowly, in fact, that Daniel was tempted to tell him to forget what he’d said earlier and hurry things up a little. He was actively rocking back onto Jack’s fingers, trying to convey his message through body language, when something happened inside him that made him yelp and arch his back into the mattress.

“Daniel?” Jack asked worriedly.

“God, Jack! Do that again!” Daniel demanded, his eyes wild and fiery as he lay panting on the bed beneath him.

Jack’s heart climbed down from his throat as he realised Daniel’s shout had been a good one, not a bad one. He quickly obliged, aiming his gentle thrusts at the spot that had elicited Daniel’s intense reaction.

Daniel suddenly became very vocal—so much so that Jack was starting to worry about how far his voice was carrying, ‘cause there was no mistaking the kinds of noises that were coming out of Daniel’s mouth. In all his life, Jack had never seen anyone so unguarded—so laid bare—as Daniel was at that moment. Enormous blue eyes held him captive and seemed to beg him for something he couldn’t put into words.

Daniel felt it building up inside him, pulling at him, tearing him to shreds, but he didn’t want it to stop. Just when he thought he might die from the joy of it, Daniel’s eyes squeezed shut and his mouth opened into a silent scream as he came…and came.

“Jesus, Daniel!” Jack exclaimed, looking down in wonder at the boneless, panting man before him.

“Now, Jack,” Daniel gasped, a sappy smile playing across his face.

“What?” asked Jack, clueless.

“Do it now, Jack. I can’t get any more relaxed than this.”

“Oh,” said Jack. Well what did he expect? There wasn’t enough blood left in his brain to form a coherent thought, much less express one intelligently. Jack was harder than he’d been since his high school days, and he had a feeling he wasn’t going to last much longer than he had back then, either.

Nerves set aside, Jack lifted Daniel’s legs so they were resting comfortably on top of his shoulders. Another dollop of lube, quickly applied, and Jack was lined up and ready to go. He pushed in slowly—oh, so slowly—but met with very little resistance. Still, he took his time, allowing them both to adjust.

Daniel was so tight and silky around his heated cock that he nearly lost it before he was even fully sheathed. It was the most intimate, incredible thing he’d ever experienced, and as Jack rocked his way to a speedy completion, he wondered how he’d ever managed to fool himself. He loved Daniel. With his entire heart, he loved this man.