Deceptions, Lies, and Butterflies

On the opposite side of the island Melissa found herself among very few survivors. The tail section had gone down in the water just off the coast of the island. Only a couple of dozen had survived, and considering what had happened each felt lucky to have survived at all. Melissa couldn’t help but wonder what happened to the rest of the plane. She remembered the dream she had in Sydney. Had it been a premonition? She hoped that John had survived somehow. She didn’t want to think about him dying. He had to be alive somewhere. She would gladly sacrifice her own life for his. She touched the butterfly necklace and prayed that he was all right, wherever he was.

For nearly seven weeks their numbers dwindled until there were just a handful of survivors. Melissa watched as first one and then another either died from injuries sustained during the crash or was taken by an unseen enemy. And then one day three survivors miraculously appeared on the beach. Once it was established that they were indeed survivors and not the enemy they were allowed into the camp. Melissa recognized one of the three men as Mr. Stud Muffin from her flight out to Sydney. Amazing that he would not only be on the same flight back but that he would survive. Melissa approached him and asked him if there had been a man in a wheelchair who had survived. His response in the negative brought on fresh grief. All this time she had been harboring hope that he was alive somewhere, but now…. All she could think about as they traveled to the camp of the other survivors was how much this trip had cost her; not with money, but with her heart and soul. She felt she would never recover either. She was an empty shell functioning on autopilot.

******

An unfortunate accident had taken the life of one of the other survivors, a woman. As her lover grieved over her body Melissa thought how lucky he was to at least have a body to say goodbye to. Despite the accident those from the tail section were welcomed into the camp of the rest of the survivors.

Melissa spied the empty wheelchair on the beach; it was being used to carry things to and from the camp. She walked over to it and touched the handle gently, wishing that just once more she could see the man to whom it belonged. Brushing away the tears she turned to join the others who had gathered for the young woman’s funeral. She stood on the outskirts of the crowd, not really wanting to be a part of the gathering but yet feeling an obligation to be there, as she knew what it was like to lose someone you loved.

As the man named Sayid talked about his love for the deceased woman, Melissa scanned the faces in the crowd. After Sayid was through talking another man stepped forward and threw a handful of dirt into the grave. Melissa's heart skipped a beat. He looked so much like John. But it was impossible. He couldn’t be there. That wasn’t him standing there. After all John had been in a wheelchair. But he did have an uncanny resemblance. Of course, she could only see him from the back. However, when he turned his head and she saw his face.... It was him! But how could that be? How could he be standing there? STANDING. Yes, it was him. He was trimmer, his skin tanned from the time on the island, but it was definitely John.

At the funeral’s end she made her way through the crowd trying to catch him before he walked away. He was walking into the jungle. WALKING. Melissa didn’t understand, but she didn’t care. He was alive. She called out to him, as they got further away from the others. "John!"

John heard someone calling out to him. Turning, he stopped dead in his tracks. It was Melissa. She was alive. He felt his heart pounding at the sight of her. Part of him wanted to run and throw his arms around her. Yet, the other part held him rooted to the spot. "You're alive," he stated matter-of-factly.

How had he known she was on the plane? Nodding her head, Melissa also wanted to run to him. However, she was uncertain what she should do. "So... so are you," she finally said. "John...," she started to say, taking a step forward.

However, John did not meet her. "I'm glad you are okay," he finally said. Pausing for a moment, he removed his backpack from his shoulders. "I believe this is yours." He then closed the gap between them and handed her the stuffed butterfly.

Melissa simply stared at the stuffed toy; tears welled up in her eyes. "You found it," she said, trying to choke back a sob. Glancing up at him, the tears slid down her cheeks. "John," she said again. "I...."

However, John did not reach out to brush away the tears, as he had once done what seemed like so long ago. "I have to go." He then turned and vanished into the jungle.

Melissa watched with mixed emotions as John walked away. She was overjoyed that he was indeed alive, yet he still hated her. Didn’t he? He had found her butterfly and kept it with him. Surely that had to mean something. He could have easily tossed it away, but he hadn’t. Yet he clearly didn’t want to be around her.

Returning to the beach, butterfly in hand, Melissa hoped against all hope that they could eventually reconcile.

For days Melissa tried in vain to talk to John. He stayed in the Swan hatch, he had found, most of the time, coming to the beach very rarely. When he did come she would try to approach him, yet he walked away without saying a word. With each rejection her hope died a little more. The last of her hope died when he moved out of the hatch and next to Claire. He seemed to show a keen interest in the young mother and her new baby, paying no attention to Melissa at all. For Melissa, it was the end.

*****

One day word came that John’s leg had been seriously injured. Melissa wanted to make sure he was all right. He might have gotten over his feelings for her but she still loved him. She went to the hatch, where she knew he would be. When she got there she found him in bed, his right leg badly wounded. His arm was over his eyes and pain was etched on his face.

John grimaced as pain shot through his leg. He had gone on a trek through the jungle, not by choice and was now regretting it more than ever. But the priest named Eko had insisted he take him to another hatch known as the Pearl. Now John had determined that everything he had believed in since finding the Swan hatch was pointless. He heard someone enter the room. Thinking it was Mr. Eko, who was manning the computer in the hatch, he turned his head. It was Melissa. John had seen her attempt to approach him several times since the funeral, but he always pretended to have other things to do. He just didn't think he could face her. Not after the awful things she had done to him. And now she was there. In the hatch. With him laid up in bed. Great. He was not in the mood for this. Wishing he could turn over, John had to satisfy himself with placing his arm back over his eyes.

Melissa wanted to reach out and touch him, but she resisted. “I just…. I needed to see for myself that you’re okay. John?”

"I'm... fine," John replied, without removing his arm. But it was the furthest thing from the truth. He just wanted to be left alone.

Tears streamed down Melissa’s face as she looked at him. “Tell me how. Tell me how to let go, John. Tell me how to stop loving you. Tell me how to shut it all off like you have because it hurts so much that sometimes I can’t breathe.” She was sobbing now. “Please, tell me how, John. Please.”

Her words ripped at John’s heart. He couldn't tell her how. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he still loved her. He had never loved anyone as much as Melissa. And it killed him. It was as if someone had taken one of his knives and stabbed it into his heart twisting it. Hard. He just wanted her to leave. He couldn't deal with this. So much had happened in his life, both on the island and before. Things she knew nothing about. Things he wished he could confide in her, but never felt he’d be able to. As a result, his life was a shambles and she was only making it worse. "Just leave," he finally said, his arm still over his face. He finally turned his head, anger etched across his face, yet hurt and pain were in his eyes. "Leave!"

"John, is everything...?" Mr. Eko had entered the room, but halted when he spotted Melissa standing near John.

At John’s words Melissa turned and ran from him, the room, the hatch, everything. She ran until she no longer could and then she sat down and mourned for the loss of the one person she had ever loved.