The Mouse Calls...

Dean woke up first and stared at the ceiling. He thought of the night before and how much he loved Sam.

Then he felt the burn and closed his eyes. Sex with Sam had been the least painful of any other time they’d been together, but it was still there to taunt him the next day.

He was sick of the pain, but knew it was part of the deal for him thanks to Jason. It just never healed the way it was supposed to and now the skin was stretched too taut.

Sam had insisted on watching him as he thrust into him and Dean didn’t have the heart to let him see anything other than pleasure.

Am I just lying again then? He sighed softly. He didn’t think it was the same. They needed each other and Dean needed Sam to be with him so much that he would have been hurting himself more if he’d let Sam know. Anyway, it always went away and it had last night pretty quick thanks to Sam’s very delicate preparations. Sam really loved him and made sure Dean knew it.

The second time was just as soft, but that time it had hurt worse. The third time had been agony and he’d let it show he was in pain because part of him knew Sam wasn’t going to be frustrated with him or angry with him for hurting.

He winced as he realized he hadn’t actually let Sam know he was in pain. He’d gotten the poor guy so worked up he probably never noticed.

Sam would be moody when he thought back to it and Dean sighed, hating that Sam wouldn’t be able to avoid the need to confront Dean on if he was okay or not.

Sam had looked over at Dean after they had made love the second time and stroked the tears from his eyes. “What is it?”

“Just a little sore. Nothing that a good walk around Epcot won’t fix.”

“Oh….you’ve been thinking about tomorrow, have you? Maybe I want to keep you in bed all day.”

Dean smiled and let Sam continue to wipe his tears. “Honestly…I’d love to do that sometime, but not now. Not when there’s so much to do and see.”

“Good point. We have our whole lives to be kinky.”

Dean laughed at that. “I wouldn’t call staying in bed all day ‘kinky’.”

“You will…” Sam winked.

“Oh? What do you suggest?”

“I don’t know. Tying you up. Letting you tie me up? Eating our meals off of each others’ bodies.” He had leaned over Dean while he was talking and started to place loud sucking kisses on Dean’s tanned stomach.

Dean laughed. “Okay, this is going to sound really gross, but you used to do this when you were a baby.”

Sam sat up. “Uh…do I want to know?”

“We’d lie on the floor and I’d let you crawl and play all over me and you’d just open your mouth and drool, but you always tried to kiss or something and always on my stomach and chest. It always made me giggle and…” As if he was yanked forcefully out of the moment, he frowned. “Well, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Whoa…if it’s upsetting you then it matters. Does it have something to do with…”

“No. No, Sammy. Nothing like that. It’s just…you think dad started hunting this demon right after it killed mom and he didn’t. It wasn’t like that. You only remember me taking care of you, but you don’t remember…I just…” He sat up as well and sighed, giving up on the moment.

“Dean, please.”

“No, Sam. You don’t need to know and it doesn’t do anyone any good so just forget it please…”

Sam just nodded, unaware that the other man’s train of thought had veered off into naughty territories.

Dean smiled when he really took notice of how Sam was sitting. His cock was semi-hard and just peeking up, ready for a little bit of fun and Sam was just as relaxed as he could be. Naked and beautiful and all Dean’s.

He bit his lip as he began to respond to what he was looking at. “You know…you’re really hot.”

Sam laughed and then saw Dean was serious. “No, Dean. We’re not doing it again. You cried the last time. No more.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I really want to have sex.”

“I said no.”

“You don’t want to have sex with me at all?” He crossed his arms over his chest, challenging Sam to tell him he was wrong.

Sam sighed. “Of course I do, but we can’t. I don’t like it when you’re in pain.”

“Yeah, well, it’s me. I’m always in pain from something.” He winked and licked his lips, enjoying the groan from Sam’s lips and the twitch from between his legs.

“Dean…you’re in dangerous territory here.”

Dean shoved Sam back and started licking and sucking him to attention. The night had progressed from there into Dean getting Sam close and then stopping. It was cruel teasing, but Dean wanted to really get Sam into it. He knew he’d never understand.

Dean wanted Sam to take him cruelly just once.

He needed to experience the pain and know it was Sam causing it and not memories of people from his past. It was easy to keep those bastards out of the bedroom when the experience was pleasant. He had to know if he could do the same if it wasn’t.

After an hour of playing, Sam finally lost control.

Dean was grateful part of the playing included lube and preparation and tried not to scream as Sam tackled him on his back and thrust home in one smooth gesture.

Dean threw his head back and his neck muscles pulled taut as his eyes shut tightly trying to stem the flow of tears.

The pain was intense and the burning was all consuming and he visualized Sam as an angel – his angel – fighting a battle against the darkness the people from his past put into his life with a fire that seared the flesh and healed the soul.

Soon he was making small sounds of pain and protest, but they were lost under the sounds of Sam’s grunting.

What seemed like hours were only minutes and Sam growled Dean’s name triumphantly when he came. It was the last thing he heard before he passed out.
*******************

Sam had been laughing and playing with Dean when all hell broke loose. He thought he had a good amount of control over himself, but Dean had brought him to the brink and back so many times and he just couldn’t handle how hot he was, bouncing his head up and down on him.

He finally just had to fuck Dean into the mattress and he remembered the feel of him and the sounds and the sensations were maddening.

He didn’t last long and he remembered growling Dean’s name and grabbing him to bring him to completion only to find that Dean wasn’t into it at all. He looked up just in time to see Dean’s eyes roll back.

“Fuck!” Sam wanted to jump up, but thought he might hurt Dean more so he carefully removed himself and swore again when he saw the bit of blood. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough for him to feel like a piece of crap.

Dean was out, but Sam couldn’t just leave him that way so he got a warm washcloth and cleaned him up, torn between crying and yelling. He chose the crying and wondered if Dean had meant to do this.

He was sure he had. He’d heard of this type of behavior in victims of abuse. They sometimes had a need to repeat the pain with someone they trusted because it gave them their sense of control in a situation that they were taught was beyond their control.

Sam shook his head, hating that he understood what Dean had done. Dean would know Sam wouldn’t have gone along with it willingly, but this way, he’d gotten what he wanted with even more control than he would have otherwise.

“Dean, you’re such an asshole, you know that?” He sighed. “But I love you…”

Dean moaned and Sam decided he’d better get Dean into some sweats or he’d want to take him again.

“Damn you and your sexy sounds….”

After getting him properly dressed, he curled up with the other man and pulled him close. Within minutes, he was asleep.

Sam opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He had a feeling Dean was already awake and probably thinking of last night.

A quick flash of panic made him wonder if he’d missed something. Maybe Dean had told him to stop last night and he hadn’t heard.

No, that couldn’t have happened. If it had, Dean would have already been out of the bed this morning instead of lying there quietly next to him.

Communication was going to be key today and Sam wasn’t about to screw it up with his ideas of how he thought things should be. Nothing in their lives had been what they should anyway.

When Dean sighed, Sam turned his head to see him staring at the ceiling.

“I won’t ask if you’re okay. I know you’re not.”

Dean’s eyes widened. He’d expected a lot from Sam. Yelling, crying, hitting were all things he thought Sam would do. He even thought there might be a nice long silent treatment, but instead there was this understanding tone just beneath the surface of Sam’s concern.

He turned to look back at Sam. “It’s a good hurt.”

“You’re sure?”

Dean smiled and nodded his head slowly. “It’s hard to explain, Sammy. I just needed…I needed pain that was in my control.”

Sam turned completely and placed his hand on Dean’s chest. “You scared the hell out of me last night.”

“I wasn’t planning on passing out, Sammy. I’m really sorry about that part.”

“But not the rest?”

Dean frowned, not sure what to say, but figured the truth would be best for now. “No. Like I said, it was something I had to do.”

Sam sighed. “I realize that, but next time you need to clue me in.”

“You would have let me?”

“I wouldn’t have liked it, but I’m not going to ever stand in the way of something you think will help you in the healing process from what happened to you as a child. I don’t know what that’s like and I’m guessing everyone is different. I’m letting you lead the way. Just…don’t leave me out of the loop again, okay?”

Dean smiled. “Thanks, Sammy. I feel like a dope. I should have known you’d understand.”

“Yeah, you should have. For that…no Epcot today.”

Dean gasped. “What? Why?”

“You need to heal up. So…today you get pampered right here by yours truly. However, I will expect a blow job whenever I want one because you were very naughty last night.”

Dean arched an eyebrow. “Yeah? I think I might like this…”

“Tonight, if you’re good all day. I’ll take you to Pleasure Island.”

Dean grinned. “Pleasure Island…if we ever have a steady place to live we should call our bed that.”

“You’re a fucking spaz, you know that?”

“You love it.”

“I definitely love it.” Sam leaned over and kissed Dean, enjoying the feel of his smile against his lips.

Dean pulled away finally and stretched. “Shower…”

“Yeah, I’ll help you.”

“Thanks, Sammy. It’s nice to have a slave for the day.” He smirked, heading into the bathroom.

“Yeah, well you know what, Dean? I was thinking the same thing because you’re going to be on your knees while I wash your hair.”

Dean turned and frowned. “Um…what do you mean?”

“What’s wrong?” Sam had just been joking around, but he wasn’t about to force Dean to do something he wasn’t into completely. “You don’t have to give me a blow job, Dean…You don’t have to do anything you-“

He was cut off as a pillow hit him square in the face. “Shutup, Sammy. I was just annoyed at the prospect of the ultimate chick flick moment of washing each others’ hair. What’s next? Pedicures?”

Sam wasn’t sure whether he should beat him or not, but finally decided on throwing the pillow back. “Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“Yeah…well…you wouldn’t have it any other way.”

And Dean had to agree…

TBC…