An Unkindess of Ravens

A/N: This is the final chapter. Thank you everyone and especially Ergonomicsky for your reviews. Also, special thanks to Rerickson for turning me on to this fandom in the first place.



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He’d taken to sleeping with his laptop on his bed, right next to his pillow, the volume turned up just in case Lucas logged on. His brother didn’t sleep well at night. The anxiety of being in a new school with a whole new set of cliques to navigate weighed heavily on him. Nathan wanted to tell him he’d be fine, but they both knew that wasn’t necessarily true. He wanted to reassure Lucas with words like “what’s the worst that could happen,” but they both knew Lucas had already experienced the worst.



It didn’t matter to either of them if they woke up the next morning bleary eyed and exhausted, a night chatting with each other was worth it. When Nathan’s laptop died on him, he was frantic. He was afraid Lucas would log in and not finding him there, assume he no longer was interested in being his lifeline. He didn’t have enough money to repair, let alone purchase a new one. It’s not like he had friends anymore, though in hindsight, he realized he never really did. His so-called friends were responsible for the mess he found himself in. Lucas’s friends were shunning him and Nathan knew that word was slowly leaking out about what happened to his brother.



Begging his father for money was not an option. He considered texting Lucas, but his cell phone bill was already out of control from the couple of calls he made to his brother when he first left. Nathan didn’t feel comfortable calling Lucas on the house phone. He tried it once but Keith, without saying it in so many words, let him know his calls were unwelcome. Tired from work, school and late nights up with his brother, Nathan thumbed through the yellow pages. He found a listing for an all night cyber café. He set his alarm, caught about two hours of sleep before grabbing his backpack and driving to the next town, intent of making it there before his brother could miss him.



He hadn’t planned it but when he missed the turn off for his exit, he knew exactly where he was headed. It was crazy and he knew if Keith didn’t appreciate his phone calls, he definitely wouldn’t appreciate him showing up at two in the morning.



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Lucas wanted to talk to Nathan. Today had been an especially bad day. There hadn’t been any one thing in particular that Lucas could point to and say that is what was wrong . There was just an overwhelming sense of loneliness. He missed Nathan. Plus he had news he was eager to share and hr had come to a few decisions as well. Had he been back in Tree Hill, he knew after a day like today, he would have found himself in his brother’s apartment. He hadn’t made any friends in his new school yet, nor did he really want to. He was sure his obsession, his feelings or whatever he felt for Nathan was unhealthy but he didn’t care. In some ways he knew Nathan had suffered also. He wasn’t foolish enough to believe his brother had suffered in the same way he had, but Nathan was hurting too. Nathan had lived through his pain and stood firmly by his side. He also knew that their bond was growing stronger, reaching far beyond an ugly incident that sometimes threatened to mar their relationship forever. With a mixture of melancholy and anxiety, Lucas hurried home, he needed to chat with his brother.



He ate dinner with his uncle Keith, who watched him like a hawk constantly and held late night phone conversations with Karen when he thought Lucas was asleep. Lucas watched a little television and then went to bed. He kept his laptop on and by his pillow. Though he was sure he wouldn’t sleep a wink, he woke with a start to the sound of tapping on his window. He checked the clock and it was nearly four in the morning. His eyes glanced to his laptop. As illogical as it was, he wanted to tell Nathan that there was a noise at his window and he was frightened, only Nathan hadn’t logged on.



He wondered what Keith would think if he made a beeline for his bedroom across the hall of the tiny one story home they shared. He often wondered if Keith thought him less of a man because of what happened and the prospect of confirming those thoughts by curling up in a ball next to his uncle didn’t sit well with him. Gathering all the courage he could, he grabbed the closest thing to a weapon he could find, his Shakespeare Lexicon. Without turning on the light, he crept closer to the window. He decided the element of surprise would give him an advantage. He yanked back the curtain with one hand to find a pair of eyes and a pale face staring back at him. Lucas let out a pathetic yelp, barely loud enough to bring Keith running. As he backed away from the window, lexicon raised high, he heard the familiar voice of his brother through the pane apologizing profusely and begging to be let in.



It took several minutes for Lucas to move forward again. Even with Nathan actually saying, “It’s me Nathan,” it was hard to move. When he finally did, Lucas threw the window open, reached out and practically dragged his younger brother inside. Nathan was still trying to apologize but he found it next to impossible with Lucas hugging him so tight, scolding him for doing such a harebrain thing and showering kisses on him all at the same time. After more scolding and kisses came the questions.



“What are you doing here? Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea what time it is?” Lucas fired off.



“I came to see you. Yes and I’m guessing an ungodly hour,” Nathan shot back and Lucas let out a robust laugh before covering his mouth.



“You nearly scared me half to death. You’re lucky you didn’t tap on Keith’s window,” Lucas said angrily before grabbing Nathan into another hug.



“Actually, I did. I’ve been hiding in the bushes for probably an hour, terrified he’d come back outside with a shotgun.”



“And they say I need therapy,” Lucas chuckled, tossing his weapon onto the bed before motioning for Nathan to join him on it. “What are you doing here?” Lucas asked again.



“My laptop died and were you planning to hit me with this thing or read sonnets to me?”



Nathan sat stiffly next to Lucas, noting the laptop by his brother’s pillow and that he was indeed logged on to chat.



“I didn’t want you to think I didn’t want to talk to you.”



“Nate,” Lucas said shaking his head, “I would never think that.”



“I was going to a cyber café and I missed the exit and then suddenly I was…I just had to see you.”



Lucas smiled relishing the familiar hapless look on his brother’s face while Nathan cherished the genuine smile on Lucas’. Even before the rape, Nathan couldn’t recall his brother really smiling and he hated the fact that he was mostly to blame.



“I’m glad you’re here.” Lucas let his hand drape over his brother’s. “I missed you.”



“I love you,” Nathan blurted out and was surprised when Lucas held on tighter.



“I’m going to drop out of school when this semester’s over.”



Nathan hadn’t been expecting Lucas to say he loved him too, but his announcement wasn’t exactly expected either.



“Luke…”



“I’ve made up my mind. I was planning on telling you tonight. I’ve been writing about what happened to me, the rape.” Lucas got up and moved to his closet and extracted what looked like an oversized shoebox.



“What’s this?” Nathan was still trying to think of ways to persuade his brother to finish high school and process the fact that his brother had put his ordeal to paper.



“It’s a manuscript I guess,” Lucas shrugged. “I began it after our first day in therapy together.”



Nathan handled the box with the same care he’d been trying to handle Lucas with for so many months. When he opened the lid, there were typed pages about as thick as a ream of paper.



“It’s about us, minus the being brother’s part. There’s this independent publishing company that’s interested in my story.”



Nathan studied the first few pages before him. “You wrote about what Tim and the others did to you?”



Lucas bit his lip and nodded. He took a seat next to his brother again.



“It was therapeutic. You think I’m nuts.” Lucas felt stupid for sharing something so awkward with his brother.



“If it helped, then no.”



“You helped, more than you’ll ever know.” Lucas summoned the courage to face his brother.



“Does it have a happy ending?” Nathan stared at the pages longer before looking up and turning to face his brother.



“I don’t know. The story’s not finished yet. What do you think?”



“I think anything’s possible if you want it bad enough.”



Lucas leaned across and Nathan met him half way. The shared a gentle yet passionate kiss. Nathan didn’t press. He let Lucas call the shots. This was his story after all. Only he could determine the outcome.