Bitter Sweet

Joxer smiled at Strife as he entered, his friend was sitting half
propped up on a pile of cushions. He had completely surrounded
himself with them. Joxer tried very hard not to laugh, he knew Strife
was probably uncomfortable and trying to get used to the large bulge
of baby but he looked for all intents and purposes, like he was
nesting.


His smile faded somewhat as he saw the morose and slight edgy look on
Strife's face. Concerned he pulled a few pillows opposite Strife and
sat down. His own small bump could barely be seen under his tunic and
appeared non-existent compared to Strife?s. He leaned forward to ask
Strife what was wrong?.


*Belch*


He blinked pulling back slightly to avoid the smell and staring at
the now-bright-red Strife. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly
and he swallowed his laugh as Strife shifted uncomfortably and
groaned. "Now I know why I nevah cause mischief ta pregnant women."
Strife moaned still blushing deeply.


Joxer continued trying not to laugh as his friend continued "Fah tha
God?s sake, if this baby doesn't come outta me soon I swear I'm goin
ta be takin over Aoelus's job. Keeper ah tha winds, mah arse!" he
blushed deeper still as his rant continued "I've got more wind in me
then anyone else, mortal or god and ya know tha worst thing Jox? I
can't stop it, and it comes all the time. When I'm eatin, drinkin,
I'm just glad I'm not doin any godly duties. Can ya see me
followin some mortal ta cause their life hell? Five minutes an
they'll be able ta track me down." He sighed "Sorry, I just thinkin
this kid could rival me as tha god ah mischief or at least somethin
close. I should bottle this stuff an inflict it on tha mortals." He
paused for a minute considering "That could be fun."


Joxer grinned, glad he'd lost the urge to laugh, it nearly came back
again as Strife burped again but he held it down, changing the
subject. "Guess I'm lucky, I just felt a bit tired; other than that I
wouldn't know I was pregnant." He said running his hand over the
small bump.


Strife glanced at his own belly and then down at Joxer wistfully "I'm
just glad this thing?s not takin tha whole ten months, having this
belly fah tha next few days is goin ta be bad enough." He ran his
hand over his own belly smiling slightly "S'not that I'm glad about
it being sa short but it does make it easier ta handle." He smirked
slightly "Sorta; besides tha next one will be a definite natural." He
blushed a little as Joxer raised an eyebrow and continued "Me and
Cupid talked about it an we're fah keeps. He's had it with tha
playin around, now he wants us ta be togethah as big happy family,
tha big wuss."


Joxer grinned "Good, I was a little worried about you at first, what
with the whole?." He waved his hand vaguely not wanting to go into
detail.


Strife nodded "Me an Cupe go way back, we both wanted an now we've
got, an I got Bliss in tha bargain." He grinned "Sides it was about
time we got down ta it. Dite told us as much, before tha cursin and
screamin" he added. "She can be a real bitch in labour, I remembah
Anteros? birth. Vaguely, but still remember it. I think half tha
deities went on sabbatical that day. Cept Apollo, he was jugglin a
screamin baby Ace and deliverin Anteros while Dite was trying ta
rip his balls off." He grinned at the memory "Me and Ma really fed on
that."


Joxer grinned with him trying to picture his lover at the possibly
psychotic Goddesses side, and then he recalled Ares' parting words
and his smile faded.


Strife patted Joxer?s leg, the only part he could happily reach
without pulling half a dozen muscles "It won't be sa bad Jox, not
that I've evah done it before but theah?s different ways an means an
Ace will explain them all ta you." He eyed Joxer?s bump "But I think
your girl isn't wantin out anytime soon, then again a coupla more
powah bursts an she could be out before this one."


Joxer?s eyes widened, he hadn't even considered the birth, he'd been
too preoccupied. How in Tartarus was the baby going to come out of
him? Were they going to cut it out? He knew of the famous operation
on Caeser?s mother but the idea didn't appeal. Maybe there was some
painless, miraculous god way in which is just popped out? Then his
brain kicked in and he dismissed that idea, he doubted any of the
goddesses would have gone through the pain if there were a better
way. Then there was the scary alternative of a new way or some
strange indescribably?.


He was brought violently out of his thinking by a sharp slap to his
cheek and he blinked back spots, focusing on Strife who was on his
knees in front of Joxer trying to shake him "Breathe, ya?re turnin
blue, stop panickin Jox or I'll call Ares."


Joxer let out the long drawn in breath he'd forgotten he was holding
and panted slightly. He knew he couldn't die but when his brain
kicked in he forgot it.


Strife sat back looking apologetic "Sorry Jox, I know ya can't die
but turnin blue isn't much fun an I worried it might make ya an
tha baby ill. Save tha panic attacks till after tha birth."


Joxer nodded, still trying to catch his breath. Strife looked
rueful "I didn't mean ta scare ya Jox, I'm sure Ace knows what ta do
an you'll have Hera too." He smiled "You've got a while longah anyway
an by then?"


He broke off his sentence as Ares flashed into the room holding a
bundle of fabric. The War God looked haggard, knackered and just
plain relieved to see the two. Neither God was surprised at the big
smile on his Ares? face but Joxer was surprised as Ares almost skipped
across the room to them. He bit his lip to stop from laughing, Ares
could deny it all he wanted but at that moment Joxer knew his lover
was almost drunk on happiness. He was more surprised when Ares knelt
down holding up the bundle for them to see. A small hand shot out of
the bundle waving wildly as the baby began to stir, angry at being
moved around so much.


Joxer stared down at him, stroking the small cheek as the baby
screamed its displeasure. The baby was more Aphrodite then Ares, it
had her hair and eyes although they seemed to be a lot darker, he
looked a little like Bliss and like what Joxer had imagined Cupid to have
looked like. But he definitely had Ares? temper, that he demonstrated by
trying to escape the bundle of blankets his euphoric father held him
in.


Joxer smiled at Ares, seeing the giddy look in his eyes "He has your
temper." He laughed and stroked the baby?s cheek as he screamed
some more "He's beautiful." Ares grinned more as Strife added his own
opinions "He's gonna be a heartbreakah, an a mischief makah." He
grinned as Ares' eyes widened momentarily.


Joxer had a slightly worrying thought and he looked at his lover "You
did tell Aphrodite you took the baby didn't you, you didn't just pick
him up and?"


"Flash all over to show him off." Ares grinned "Dite's resting. She
gave me ten minutes so she and Hephaestus can relax then she'll kill
me if I don't have him back" he grinned again at Joxer?s slightly
alarmed look "I've got 6 minutes left." He reassured his Joxer "I
just wanted him to meet you two and his baby sister." He handed the
baby to Joxer who held him daftly against his chest for a few minutes
before clicking what Ares meant and holding him against his small
bump.


The baby still wriggled a lot but he seemed a little happier then
being held up and Joxer could feel his own daughter?s movements almost
like ripples through his stomach as she moved to lie at the front of his
stomach next to her half brother.


Ares couldn't seem to stop grinning, until he received an obviously
sharp order from Aphrodite. Joxer and Strife heard the muted version
and still winced. Ares carefully took back the baby and with an "I'll
be right back", he flashed back to Aphrodite and Hephaestus, still
grinning.


The appearance of the real and screaming baby had jolted Joxer and
Strife into fully realising what they would shortly be getting into
and for a few minutes neither spoke, until Strife got another bout of
wind which left them both laughing hysterically.


For a short time anyway. Cupid flashed into the room looking
thoroughly pissed off. As soon as he appeared, Joxer saw his
entourage or rather heard his entourage and realized why. He thought
Cupid had been gone a while, from the way the love god stormed across
the room to help up a struggling Strife he guessed he'd had little co-
operation.


The three of them were arguing so much amongst themselves that they
didn't even notice Cupid?s move. Joxer was glad to see Cupid tenderly
helping up Strife and felt a slight rush of pleasure as he cast a
smile his way, rolling his eyes as he gestured to the four members of
the group, the small gesture made him feel in essence like part of
the family.


Cupid created fluffy pillow covered chairs for Strife and Joxer which
Strife gratefully eased himself onto, rearranging the pillows to his
liking. Joxer remained standing feeling the strange urge to start
laughing. Xena was arguing with Hercules and Gabrielle seemed to be
swaying from one side to the other, unable to make up her mind but
shouting out seemingly useless comments. Joxer?s eyes drifted to
Iolaus who was silently watching them, the blond mortal offered a
slight wave and rolled his eyes towards the other three, shrugging
slightly.


Joxer, Cupid and Strife looked on in amusement before Iolaus got
bored and headed over to them. "Hi Strife, Hi Joxer, good to see you
again." His smile was genuinely friendly and he didn't interrogate
Joxer over what he was doing on Olympus, he just seemed happy to see
him. Joxer couldn't stop the smile of amusement as Iolaus realised
what he'd said and his eyes swiveled back to Strife "But I
thought?." He stared at the God and shrugged "Never mind," he
sighed "I'm always the last to know." He did a double take at Strife?s
belly with Cupid?s hand resting on it and then shrugged again, smiling
widely "Congratulations."


Joxer grinned, watching the slow smile sweeping over Strife?s face.
The God of mischief had often been unsure where he stood on
the `Iolaus issue' as Aphrodite called it. Iolaus being a favourite
of Cupid and Aphrodite?s for personal reasons and a `special annoyance'
of Ares and Eris?, mainly because of his friendship with their not-so-
favoured younger brother. From Strife?s smile he obviously joined
the `we like Iolaus club', something he was sure Ares would moan
about for a few days then grudgingly get over it when Joxer explained
how friendly he was.


Joxer was about to explain to Iolaus what was going on when a shrill
cry of `Joxer!" permeated his ears. He turned away from Iolaus and
looked towards a very annoyed Gabrielle who was stomping towards
them. He smiled briefly as he looked over her shoulder to see
Hercules and Xena staring at him with immense looks of confusion on
their faces. Xena's look gave way to relief whilst Hercules stayed
open mouthed.


Feeling a small foot almost stomping on his toe Joxer focused on
Gabrielle who had started up her own tirade. "What were you thinking,
running off and disappearing like that without even telling us you
were going? It wasn't as if we wanted you along but you should have
told us you were leaving we spent the whole day searching for you,
worrying you'd been beaten up or killed by those men in the tavern.
No one had seen from you, no one had heard for you, then we meet with
Hercules who tells us Ares was furiously looking for you! And we
worried you were dead, and you're not you're swaning around up here
with a bunch of sleazy gods?" she gestured to Strife as she said the
words not even noticing his belly, which Xena and Hercules
immediately did.


The former looked amazed, the latter looked like he might faint. A
flash of light signaled Ares? arrival and Joxer turned his head
slightly to smile ruefully at his lover as Gabrielle continued to
rant.


Joxer ignoring her, as she continued ranting to get his attention, did
obviously not impress Gabrielle. What she did next took everyone by
surprise and caused chaos. Hercules and Xena seemed too shocked by
Strife?s belly to realise what Gabrielle was about to do. Strife was
too bulked down to react and the others were pretty much cross-eyed
from trying to tune out the woman's voice.


Taking matters literally into her own hands Gabrielle grabbed her
staff and slammed it into Joxer?s stomach to get his attention.


Realizing too late, Ares and Cupid moved forward to stop her as Strife
struggled to get up. Joxer snapping out of his daze, also realized too
late to step to one side and his powers were inhibited by the
bracelet.


Gabrielle's staff slammed into Joxer?s stomach, but a centimeter before
it connected a flash of turquoise light formed in front of it,
blocking it. Joxer stumbled back slightly as the bright flash
momentarily covered his lower body, and Gabrielle shrieked as her
staff was thrown out of her hands to land in pieces at Ares feet; she
fell backwards onto her backside. Her body was shaking as if she'd
just slammed her staff into a huge metal object.


Joxer?s eyes widened as the protective barrier faded and Ares reached
his side, his lover running his hand over the tiny bump and mentally
calling for Acelepious. Completely ignoring the stunned bard, Cupid
pushed Iolaus onto the chairs to sit with Strife as he reached his
father?s side. He glanced at Xena and Hercules letting them know with
one look that they would be very unlucky in life if they even tried
to do the same, a glance back at Strife and another ferocious glare
at them informed them the same went for Strife.


Joxer ran his hands over Ares', more then a little stunned and
confused over what had happened. He was worried about what the baby
did but not worried for her; the staff hadn't even had the chance to
hurt them. Mentally he reassured Ares of this as Ares mentally threw
curses at Acelepious who was busy, trying to deliver two babies
simultaneously.


Ares looked at his lover, looked at the bump and ran his hand over
both checking as best he could. A look of immense relief appeared on
his face as Ares finished checking *That's our girl* Joxer heard the
relief filled mental words. He could tell Ares was as surprised as he
was that the baby had protected them, especially with the inhibitor
bracelet on, but he was too relieved to question it. And too pissed
off, Joxer noted uneasily as the War God turned a furious gaze on the
still-shaking Gabrielle.


"Get up" Ares words were soft but his tone made Joxer shiver, he knew
Ares and he knew when Ares was angry he shouted, fought and moaned
but when Ares was furious, deadly furious, his voice was softer and a
lot more menacing. Joxer could see the look of fear sweeping across
Gabrielle's face, this wasn't an angry, blustering God facing her,
this was a furious, ready-to-torture God. Even Hercules seemed
loathe to intervene as he uneasily faced his brother.


The demi-god was unsure what was going on but even he knew what that
tone meant.


Cupid shivered hearing the tone for only the third time his
lifetime. Both he and Strife had heard it directed towards the
creature that had once tried to kill his brother and once, more
recently directed at the woman responsible for Strife?s death. That
voice meant business.


Iolaus was just thankful the voice wasn't directed at him.


Joxer just knew there was a hundred things that could happen, none
of them nice for Gabrielle. He wanted to stop his lover but he was
unwilling to argue with him now, not after what could have happened.
He hugged his stomach, and turned towards Strife feeling something
almost pulling on his Godhood.


Xena wanted to say something, to defend her lover but even though she
was unsure why Ares was in such a rage she had a strange feeling he
was right to be. Something just wasn't adding up. Her eyes flicked
from Ares to Joxer, to Strife, to Strife?s belly and then back to
Joxer again. Her eyes focused on Joxer, moving slowly down his body
to rest on his stomach. She wasn't sure, she couldn't quite be sure
but as Joxer turned to look at Strife she saw the small but
unmistakable outline and her eyes widened. Understanding swept
through her and she looked back to her father again who seemed to
almost be towering over the now standing Gabrielle.


Taking a chance she asked, "Is the baby alright?"


Joxer jumped slightly turning back to stare at Xena who was calmly
looking at Ares. Ares didn't seem to hear her at first but when she
repeated the question some of his anger left him and he nodded curtly
at her. "For now." He answered shortly turning back to glare at
Gabrielle again.


Joxer decided it was the best time to interrupt. *Ares?* he spoke
softly into his lover?s mind and out loud as Ares didn't hear
him "Ares!"


He looked momentarily contrite as Ares turned to him. He could see
his lover was torn between wanting to hurt Gabrielle and not wanting
to hurt him by doing it so he decided to break the decision by giving
Ares something else to fixate on. He looked towards Strife who was
clenching his fists and biting his lip as pain swept through him.


"Strife?s in labour, I think."


Before Ares could say a word Cupid was at Strife?s side calling for
Acelepious and trying to keep Strife calm. Anxiousness replacing the
anger Ares began calling for Acelepious, moving closer to Joxer and
his nephew. He kept one hand possessively protecting their baby as he
called Acelepious to help with Strife?s.


Glad for a temporary reprieve, the shocked Gabrielle moved next to
Hercules and Xena who could only watch as the drama unfolded. Iolaus
was counting the seconds between pains for Strife and Cupid was
giving him grateful looks.


Strife managed a shaky grin "Told ya this kid likes trouble," he
murmured clenching his teeth as another pain hit.