CROSSROADS

When Crowley disappeared with Cassie, Sam and Dean both stared in horror at the spot where they had been, before falling off the wall and on to their faces on the floor. Dean crawled over to Sam and checked the wound on the back of his head. He had a laceration but it had stopped bleeding. It didn't look too serious. He grabbed a sheet off the bed and covered his brother's lower half. Sam was panting and sobbing into the floor. Dean had never seen him so distraught.

Sam tried to push himself up onto his hands and knees and wobbled before falling back onto his face. He finally managed to get back on all fours and crawl over to his nightstand, using it to help him to sit up onto his knees. He leaned his head on the corner of the table and shuddered. When he closed his eyes all he could see was Cassie's face contorted in fear. That image would be seared into his brain forever. And it would forever haunt his dreams.

"He took her Dean!", Sam wailed. "We have to get her back!" Dean hugged Sam's shoulders as he mourned. He could feel Sam shaking with anger and grief. "I...I love her, Dean!", Sam whispered. Dean dropped his head and closed his eyes. He saw this coming but hoped it wouldn't. At least not until they had dealt with Crowley. But it was inevitable.

"We'll get her back, Sammy", Dean whispered in his brother's ear. "You gotta stay strong for her!" Sam nodded, sitting up on his knees. He wiped his eyes and sniffled. Dean helped Sam to his feet and he wobbled over and sat down hard on his bed. Dean sat down next to him and wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulder. "Cassie's strong. She'll be trying to find a way to gank Crowley too!"

"Yeah, I know", Sam snorted miserably. He ran his hand through his hair and huffed. "I didn't intend to fall for her, Dean". He felt guilty for lusting after her while that fucking demon was doing the same thing. "I should have backed off. I knew better. We're not supposed to have attachments". He put his head in his hands and wept bitter tears.

"That may be true, Sammy", Dean whispered. "But sometimes we need them". Sam looked up at Dean, confused. "You kept her sane, Sammy! I saw what all this was doing to her. The dreams, the waiting, everything!" Sam looked at the floor and heaved a big sigh. "You kept her head above water!"

"And now I'm letting her drown!" Sam suddenly yelled, standing up. He grabbed the lamp off his night stand and threw it across the room. It smashed against the wall and Dean flinched. He stalked to the middle of the room and just stood there panting like he'd just run the 5K. "I'm not stupid, Dean! I know what he's doing to her right now!" Dean stood up and walked over to his little brother. He placed his hand on Sam's shoulder and Sam suddenly grabbed him, hugging him tight.

It felt like his world was crashing in on itself and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He hadn't felt so helpless and angry in a long time. Not since Jesse. This feeling was the main reason he didn't have relationships of any kind. He got attached far to easily. He didn't have it in him to have one night stands. The risk that someone he cared about would be hurt or killed because of him made him afraid to get involved with anyone. But now, here he was, living his worst nightmare.

"It's gonna be OK Sammy", Dean said. "We're gonna get her back and take care of that Son-of-a-Bitch, Crowley, for good!" Dean pulled away and looked at Sam with serious eyes. "But if you can't keep it together, that's not gonna happen, you got it?!" Sam nodded and tried to calm his nerves. "When Cas gets back, we'll think of something together, OK?" Sam pushed away from Dean and stood up straight, trying to look composed. He knew he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Yeah, OK", Sam muttered. Sam walked around the side of the bed and grabbed his jeans off the floor and pulled them on. He bent down and picked up Cassie's blouse and just stared at it. He held it up to his face and inhaled. It still smelled like her. He exhaled a ragged breath and hugged the piece of fabric to his chest like a security blanket. He picked up all of Cassie's clothes and laid them out on his bed like he was expecting her to come back any minute and put them back on. He would keep them for her until she came back. He wouldn't even entertain the idea that she might not come back. He found his shirt and slipped it over his head.

Dean walked over and pick up the broken lamp and sat it on top of Sam's dresser. He sighed and just stood there watching his brother grieve inside his heart. He couldn't tell Sammy that he had no idea how they were going to get Cassie back. He prayed to GOD that Cas had some ideas. Dean didn't even know where to start. But, what he did know was that he needed a drink.

"You wanna beer?", Dean asked. Sam just nodded. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth, he would start sobbing again. He swallowed hard, trying to get the lump to go down and blinked back the tears that were threatening to let loose. He didn't want to come apart. Not now when Cassie needed him to be strong. Dean paused a moment, his heart breaking for his brother, before he walked out. Sam was alone. Utterly.

This grief was his and his alone.