Kelly Bundy Bets Her Ass

One afternoon Kelly shows up at his house again.  “Dick, I think we have a problem.”

 

“Yesterday my girlfriend just showed me a porn site on that new computer internet web thing.  The porn site is called ‘Kelly’s Playhouse’ (oddly enough),” she tells him.

 

“She said that the girl in the pictures and videos looks just like me.  I told her that she was crazy.  I told her that no way that was me.”

 

“But I’ve got to be honest with you.  It was me and you on that porn site.  Who could have taken those pictures and videos?  I’m really worried.”

 

Richard pats her on the head and tries to calm her.

 

“I have to confess, Kelly,” he says, “I’m the one who took the pictures and videos.  I’m the one who runs the porn site.”

 

Kelly begins to tear up.  “How could you do that?” she cries.  “I thought that we were friends.  I thought that we had something really special together.  How could you?”

 

Richard apologizes, “I’m sorry Kelly.  I did it for the money.  Besides, there was an images and video rights clause in our contract.  It’s all perfectly legal for me to do it.”

 

”And I’ve made close to $1000 so far from that website.  It’s a booming business with membership fees, and all.”

 

“You sold me out,” she cries.  “I can’t believe it.  Then I should get half the money.  That’s only fair.”

 

Richard quickly comes up with a solution.

 

“Listen here Kelly,” he explains, “I’ve got a business proposition for you.  If you can convince any girls you know to try and win that $500 bet from me; then we stand to make a ton of money.”

 

“I’ll con each of them to sign a contract, and well; you know what happens from there.”

 

“I’ll buy some more video equipment and teach you how to use it.  Everything will be hidden so the girls don’t see you or the cameras.”

 

”We’ll put all the pictures and videos up on the porn site and then sit back and watch the money flow in.”

 

“So do you think that you could convince any girls to try that?  Just tell them that I’m an old man with a bunch of money.  Tell them that it’s just a silly game I play to get blowjobs.”

 

Kelly’s eyes begin to brighten up.  “What a great idea,” she says.  “Dick, you are a genius.  Hell, I can think of at least a dozen girls right now.  When do we get started?  I’m going to be rich.  I mean, we’re going to be rich.”

 

Richard quickly responds, “Since I’m supplying all the equipment and doing most of the work; I must insist on a 30-70 split, after expenses of course.”

 

Kelly jumps right back, “OK, but only if it’s 30 for me and 70 for you.  I may be blonde but I’m not stupid.  Oh, and one other thing, Dick; I hope that this won’t interfere with our quality time together.  Will it?”

 

Shaking his head, Richard tells her, “Don’t worry sweetie, you’ll always be my number one girl.”

 

Kelly is grinning ear to ear.  She’s not only flattered by his compliment, but she’s also thinking about all the money.