Hawai Five-0 chatroom

Author's note: I have a WARNING to make. Due to the content of this particular chapter, I have decided to change the rating of my story from T to M. Please, be warned that there is explicit language. Also, there are some curses like "Jesus fucking God" which I included because I use them with my family, not because I am disrespectful of religion. Having said that, enjoy!

Hawaii five-0 chatroom: Chapter 10

Mcgarretisananimal has joined the chatroom.

Singleandpissed: Don't even try, Williams. I don't want to talk about it.

Mcgarretisananimal: Oh? About what, exactly? About how you gave me a black eye or how you scared the hell out of my daughter when you came storming into my apartment and then proceeded to give me a black eye?

Singleandpissed: I already explained it to Gracie and Rachel. You have no excuse.

Mcgarretisananimal: seeing as I'm not allowed to see my daughter this weekend, all thanks to your 'I'm a big bad SEAL and you can't mess with me' act, I say we just call it even and move on.

Singleandpissed: Yeah, OK, why not? I've already lost my girlfriend over this.

Mcgarretisananimal: Awwww, are you saying that I'm more important than your sex life? I'm touched! Figuratively…

Singleandpissed: Very funny, Danno.

Mcgarretisananimal: And I'm back to Danno! I think we're making real progress.

Singleandpissed: Whatever.

Mcgarretisananimal: You can't deny that the photos were hot!

Singleandpissed: I really don't want to talk about this, Danny.

Mcgarretisananimal: Oh, come on! Now that she's not yours anymore, we can at least discuss the art in the photos.

Singleandpissed: Let's get one thing straight, OK? She was never 'mine'.

Mcgarretisananimal: Fine, whatever Mr Politically correct. She's hot.

Singleandpissed: I know.

Mcgarretisananimal: So you liked the pictures?

Singleandpissed: I still have them, don't I?

Mcgarretisananimal: Soo.. which do you like best?

Singleandpissed: I can't believe we're actually discussing this.

Mcgarretisananimal: I can see the smile in that sentence, Steven. Come on, talk to me babe. My girlfriend wouldn't have done that for me.

Singleandpissed: But she might be doing it for Kamekona.

Mcgarretisananimal: That was low, babe.

Singleandpissed: So? You saw my girlfriend naked!

Mcgarretisananimal: Not NAKED! Dammit, why are you fixating on that?

Singleandpissed: Not naked? There's a shot where you can actually see … her lady parts?

Mcgarretisananimal: Lady parts? Seriously McGarret? That's what you call it?

Singleandpissed: What do you want me to call it?

Mcgarretisananimal: Vagina? Pussy? Hell, my aunt used to call it 'parrot'.

Singleandpissed: Shit, Danny. Don't be so crude, man.

Mcgarretisananimal: Crude? Oh my God, I can't believe I just now realize this!

Singleandpissed: realize what?

Mcgarretisananimal: How come I didn't see this sooner? I mean, you never talk about sex! And of course you don't!

Singleandpissed: Realize what, Danny?

Mcgarretisananimal: You, Steven McGarret, for all the SEALS rule, Hell Week, I'm full of ink, badass attitude, are actually, a prude!

Singleandpissed: I am NOT a prude.

Mcgarretisananimal: Yes, you are!

Singleandpissed: I am NOT.

Mcgarretisananimal: Fine. Pussy.

Singleandpissed: Danny! That's just wrong.

Mcgarretisananimal: Write it, write PUSSY.

Singleandpissed: No.

Mcgarretisananimal: You are such a prude!

Singleandpissed: No, I'm not! If I were a prude, I wouldn't have sex!

Mcgarretisananimal has changed his screen name to Mcgarretisaprude.

Mcgarretisaprude: Given that you are such a prude, I'm surprised you have sex at all.

Singleandpissed: I am not a prude! I have sex! I have a lot of sex! Ask Catherine!

Mcgarretisaprude: A prude is, as defined by the wikipedia, perceived as being more uncomfortable than most with sexuality, nudity, alcohol, drug use or mischief. You, my friend, are uncomfortable with sexuality. PRUDE.

Singleandpissed: Congratulations for knowing how to make a search in Wikipedia, Danny. And I am not uncomfortable with sexuality. Just with talking about it.

Mcgarretisaprude: Oh, my God. You must be so boring in bed!

Singleandpissed: I am not!

Mcgarretisaprude: No wonder you had a problem with the naked pictures.

Singleandpissed: Ahhhh, so now they ARE naked pics.

Mcgarretisaprude: God, please don't tell me you're a mute in the bedroom, McGarret.

Singleandpissed: What? No, I'm not!

Mcgarretisaprude: So you talk?

Singleandpissed: Talk? I don't… whatever, I mean, I'm not silent.

Mcgarretisaprude: Jesus.

Singleandpissed: What?

Mcgarretisaprude: Jesus fucking God.

Singleandpissed: What, Danno?

Mcgarretisaprude: Let's try something, OK, Steve? You up for it?

Singleandpissed: Up for what?

Mcgarretisaprude: A little exercise.

Singleandpissed: Fine, whatever. Fine. Yeah.

Mcgarretisaprude: Repeat after me. Suck.

Singleandpissed: Oh, no. Danny!

Mcgarretisaprude: Do it, Steve. Or I will call you on the phone and we will do this anyway.

Singleandpissed: I don't want to practice dirty talking.

Mcgarretisaprude: hahahaha you are such a prude! Just do it, McGarret.

Singleandpissed: Why do we have to do this, exactly?

Mcgarretisaprude: Because I don't want my friend to be a fucking mute, pun intended.

Singleandpissed: Danno!

Mcgarretisaprude: Do I have to call you, Steven?

Singleandpissed: No!

Mcgarretisaprude: Good. Then, let's start again. Suck.

Singleandpissed: This is stupid. Suck.

Mcgarretisaprude: Suck my.

Singleandpissed: Danny! I know where you're going with this.

Mcgarretisaprude: Do you ever say it?

Singleandpissed: No!

Mcgarretisaprude: Then we continue. Suck my.

Singleandpissed: Uffffffffffffffffff. Suck my.

Mcgarretisaprude: Suck my cock.

Singleandpissed: Jesus, Danny!

Mcgarretisaprude: Say it, Steven. Some women (a lot of women, actually) like to be talked to like that.

Singleandpissed: None that I've ever been with!

Mcgarretisaprude: Says the guy whose longest relationship was with a woman who spent half the year in a submarine! Of course she didn't complain! She just wanted to get laid! You need to do this, Steve. Trust me. You'll thank me later.

Singleandpissed: I doubt it.

Mcgarretisaprude: Come on Steve. Suck my cock.

Singleandpissed: Fine! Just so that we stop this nonsense. Suck my cock. Happy?

Mcgarretisaprude: In general, I prefer a little more sweet talk, but I'll grant that with your body, you can skip down to dirty.

Singleandpissed: Danny! God, you are awful!

Mcgarretisaprude: Do you have any idea how gay you just sounded?

Singleandpissed: Says the guy who forced me to say SUCK MY COCK.

Mcgarretisaprude: What can I say? I'm a pro.

Singleandpissed: You're a jerk.

Mcgarretisaprude: Next time I'll teach you how to use pussy in a sentence.

Singleandpissed has left the chatroom.

Mcgarretisaprude: hahahaha That's really gonna cost me. But it's OK. He'll thank me, really.