Be A Man

A/N:  A special thanks to Cindylee for her review and my good friend who always puts a smile on my face with her words of encouragement.

 

 

 

The shadows were growing long and Jarrod could barely make out the hulk of the dead steer.  He listened and watched, but the only noise was the slight crack of a stick when his companion shifted.

 

“Nick, you really think that bear’s going to come if it knows we’re here?” he scolded in a low voice.

“Ah,” said Nick dismissively.  “A bear that’s been getting in as close as this one to kill our cattle ain’t gonna be worried by us.  He ain’t had a chance to find out how good of a shot we are.”

Jarrod couldn’t help but agree and settled into a more comfortable position.  It could be hours before the marauding animal showed up, if it even showed up at all.

“Thanks for coming out here with me, Jarrod,” Nick said after a few minutes.

“A rogue bear isn’t anything to take lightly and I know you’ve been shorthanded,” Jarrod responded.

Nick continued to stare into the deepening gloom.  “Yeah, but I know you’ve been busy, getting a handle on all the other parts of Father’s business interests.  Don’t think I haven’t noticed how tired you are when you come home from a week in ‘Frisco or that the lamps in the library are burning way past when they should.”  Nick reached out and lightly cuffed Jarrod on the shoulder.  “You need to take care of yourself, Pappy.  I couldn’t run this place without you and that’s a fact.”

Jarrod felt a warm glow at Nick’s statement.  “Thanks, Nick,” he replied quietly.  Then his insides twisted as he wondered if Nick would be so accepting if he found out his brother’s depravities.  Nick was a strong man, one everyone was starting to regard with the same respect the Valley had given their father and Jarrod knew how horrified and ashamed a true man like Nick would feel if he found out his secret desires.

Nick sensed that there was something up with his big brother.  Jarrod hadn’t been quite the same since their father’s death.  They had missed out on too many years while Jarrod was studying law and during the War, but there had always been an unshakable bond between the two of them that time and distance hadn’t changed.

Thinking further, Nick realized Jarrod hadn’t had much of a reaction to their father’s death.  Nick had gotten drunk about a week after the funeral, finally letting his anger and heartache surface, but Jarrod only calmly bailed him out of jail and listened with a supportive ear as Nick vented his grief on the ride home.  He couldn’t recall a time that Jarrod had given any visible show of how Tom’s death had affected him and felt a deep sense of guilt.  They were all taking advantage of how easily it seemed Jarrod had stepped into the role of head of the family and Nick wondered if they had ever given Jarrod a chance to show his own feelings.

“Y’know, with the fights you and Father were having, I was kinda surprised you came home after that case you had in Pinewood,” he said in an attempt to broach the subject.

“I was packed to leave the afternoon he was shot,” came the quiet response.

Nick looked over to see Jarrod staring off into the distance.  “Y’know, it’s okay if you’re not sure how to feel.  I mean, you and Father weren’t exactly on good terms.”

Jarrod sighed.  “But he was still my father, Nick.  If I had only…”  Jarrod cut off what he was going to say and shook his head.

Nick gripped Jarrod’s shoulder firmly.  “You did what you needed to do, Jarrod.  Father always told me a man needs to stand up for what he believes in.  All you did was follow his advice, he was just too stubborn and pig-headed to see it.  If Father would’ve listened to you and gone by the law, he’d still be alive.  And you know I’ll always be here for you if you need me, just like you’ve stood by me.”

Jarrod reached up to clasp Nick’s hand.  “Thanks,” he said again.

Suddenly, a large shape loomed out of the darkness and headed towards the dead steer.  Both men raised their rifles and both guns echoed simultaneously.  The shape fell heavily and didn’t move.

Jarrod and Nick slowly rose from their hiding spot and cautiously walked over to the dead beast.  The brown hulk had to weigh at least 900 pounds

Nick whistled, even as he felt a pang of regret for the death of such a magnificent animal.  “That’s one big bear.  Reckon that hide would make a great a rug in your office, counsellor.”

“As long as you put the head in the library,” Jarrod countered.  “A noble beast like that should be remembered.  It probably took both our shots to take him down.”  The waste of that life saddened him, necessary as it was.  On one hand, the ferocious animal had been a threatening presence.  Cattle were the backbone of the Valley and one never knew when killing livestock would turn into killing people.  On the other hand, the bear's power and tenacity had to be admired.  Jarrod couldn’t help but see a similarity between the bear and his father.  Everything came to an end at some point, he thought, no matter how great.  Power didn’t make one invincible or even respected.  The power of a bear taking down a stag could be admired, but if it killed a bull it was reviled.  A man was looked up to for standing his ground in the face of an adversary, but that same iron-will could be used to intimidate someone thought of as weaker.  “C’mon, Nick,” he said, wondering if he’d ever be deserving of the respect bestowed on his father, his brother, or even a feared grizzly.  “Let’s head home and grab a wagon.”

 

 

 

 

The last California golden bear (Ursus arctos californicus) was reportedly shot in 1922.  More information on California’s state animal can be found at http://www.netstate.com/states/symb/animals/ca_grizzly_bear.htm