How Did This Happen?

Notes: To those of you who give me reviews, I love you I really really do. Because honestly it's pure motivation. Every time I come on here and see a new one I get all sorts of ideas and actually want to write more. Hopefully you enjoy this chapter as well.
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She sat on her bed, legs drawn against her chest. Her forehead resting against her knees as she let the tears streak down her cheeks. She’d sat on the toilet while Matt had taken his shower. While he’d talked and she’d listened. He’d been so angry with her, and while he didn’t yell his words had hurt so much. She felt like one of those stupid girls in a movie, you know the one, she has everything in the world she needs in front of her but then that bad boy comes into town and she just tossed it out the window.

The biggest problem was that this wasn’t a movie and Sylar wasn’t going to reform and change for her. He wasn’t going to stop being who and what he was and she was setting herself up for the worst kind of heartbreak.

Even now, after Matt had laid it all out there told her that she needed to decide what she was going to do. She couldn’t, she was in love with two people at the same time and it was ripping her heart apart. When she’d been unable to tell him what he’d wanted to hear, and not able to close of her thoughts quick enough he’d looked down at her and then just walked out silently passing judgment on her.

He’d told her that he had already dealt with a wife that had cheated on him and he wouldn’t go through it again. She’d wanted nothing more then to promise him it wouldn’t happen. That she could do what he’d wanted, that she wasn’t like that. That she wasn’t like his ex-wife. But she would have be lying to the both of them if she’d said those words and the thought that she could actually be anything like his ex broke her heart just a little more. Pretty soon she wasn’t going to be able to put it back together.

When it came to Sylar, she didn’t know what was wrong with her. She should have been running in the other direction. He was hateful to her, hurt her, said the most horrible things to her but he made her insides tighten and she couldn’t imagine not seeing him ever again.

She couldn’t even use the excuse that Sylar didn’t care about her one way or another. He told her as much she might have actually believed him and then he’d shown up at her house something she still didn’t understand. He knew where she lived? That should have scared the shit out of her but it just made her happy.

“I’m pathetic”

Standing to her feet she walked towards her closet and dragged out a bag, she needed to get away for a while. Put some space between her and them and just…do whatever. Staying here, dealing with the two of them when she couldn’t decide what she actually wanted it was going to make her go insane. Some space, some time with only herself it would help. She could try and sort all her feelings out.

Once the bag was packed she mass emailed all close friends and family so no one would worry and then she dragged her suitcase to her car before shoving it into the back seat. Then it was nothing but the road and her music. She didn’t stop for anything but gas and even then the stop took no longer then ten minuets. She didn’t want to be around people, didn’t want to see anyone that might have a passing resemblance to anyone she may know. Six hours later she pulled up to the cabin. Her own world: No TV, no phone, no internet, just her and herself.

Two hours later, it wasn’t so much fun, in fact it sort of sucked. Slowly as the time ticked by her mood got lower and lower and before she knew it she was sniffling, the tears starting to track down her cheeks again.

“You cry a lot don’t you?”

She about had a heart attack, her head snapped up and she found him standing in the front door. Shoulder propped against the frame and a bored look on his face. She opened her mouth and closed it a couple times before the ability to form words finally came back

“What are you doing here?”

“I had nothing better to do. You were easy enough to find.”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone? You’re the one who made it clear where we stand, unless this is just some sick game to you I don’t know why you can’t just stay… away.”

She heard her voice break and knew how lame her ramble sounded but didn’t care. Hell, she didn’t even know what to think he made it impossible. He’d been to mean to her, so cold and hurtful and then he’d shown up at her house all angry and violent.
She didn’t want this; she’d been so happy[Not really] and had a normal life[that her mother invaded at every turn] till Matt had shown up on her patient list. But now? Every day was more trouble then the last.

“It’s not a game, I’m more annoyed with this situation then you are. I figured I’d see what you were up to when you lugged that suitcase out of your house”

The look that flashed across his face told her he’d said more then he meant to.

“You stayed?”

He didn’t say anything, just stared at her refusing to give anything away. He was full of lies but why had he stayed?

“You don’t get to be silent now. You cause my window to explode, throw me into a wall, attack Matt, all but stalk me by showing up here uninvited and then want to not say anything. I’m not doing this with you. You told me it meant nothing. You told me to stay away, you called me a whore, and n-”

“Are you finished yet?”

“No!” She got to her feet and stormed over to him poking a finger in his chest. One of those dark eyebrows arched up but he didn’t bother to stop her. She got the impression that she amused him and she was tired of it. “I want you gone, don’t come back just…just stay away”

Again her rant ended lamely but he surprised her by moving quickly. One second he was standing there the next he was pushing off the wall had her pressed again the wall pinned between it and him. They were inches apart and he lowered his head so that he could look her in the eye. She wasn’t scared. Not anymore, to many times had they been alone and he’d never done anything to her, well anything to bad, but she wasn’t dumb enough to not be a little worried about his temper.

“You think I enjoy this? That for some reason I have this need to seek you out. I should have killed you that first night, at the latest I should have strangled the life out of your pretty body the second time we were alone. Yet every time I let you go. I don’t like it and I don’t want to understand it. In fact I want nothing better then to forget all about you.”

That one hurt and she couldn’t help the little sound of pain she made as his words punched her hard in the chest. But he didn’t stop talking so he must not have noticed.

“One damn twitch of my fingers and you wouldn’t be an issue to me ever again; I could go back to how things were. Finding what I want and taking it. No more wide eyed stares to sidetrack me. To get stuck in my head and not go away”

“You like me?”

“No.”

“Yes you do. You actually care about me.” And then it all but slammed into her, what she couldn’t understand before “You were jealous of Matt. This isn’t fricken high school.”

“The word is fucking.”

“Don’t try to change the damn subject.”

He was silent for a moment before turning his head and looking towards the window. “You think too much” He pushed away from her before his gaze slowly moved back to her.

“I should just kill you now and be done with it. You wouldn’t be able to stop me and this would-“

“You can’t” She couldn’t help but smile at him.

“I can’t.”

She didn’t know what to say, it was as close to a confession of feelings as she would get from him, but what did she say afterward? Did she confess to him? He most likely already knew she wasn’t the best at hiding her feelings. Finally when the silence stretched she said the first thing that popped into her head.

“You don’t have to leave”

“I never intended to.”

“Oh.”

“Your cops going to be mad, you’ll tell him about this sooner or later since you’re awful at telling lies.“

“He’s not my cop.”

“Of course he is, otherwise you wouldn’t have been crying.”

She hated it when he made sense

“He seemed angry before he left, doesn’t like to share does he?”

“Apparently neither do you.”

He was quiet for a moment “No, I don’t”

She almost didn’t hear him and he didn’t say anything else after that, he wasn’t a talker she’d known that from the start. She looked up at him to ask a question; something about food but she’d barely opened her mouth to ask when suddenly he’d crushed her to the wall and slanted his own mouth over hers. She was startled but it was only seconds before her arms slowly went around his neck. He was right she would tell Matt about this but for now she would just enjoy it, enjoy him. She felt him lift her off her feet and her legs went around his waist. She evidently didn’t know how to avoid trouble.

His hands slid down the length of her body as she arched into his touch. He still had her pressed against the wall and she tightened her legs around his waist locking him closer. His fingers slid under her shirt and fanned across her stomach and she felt her muscles contract. She pushed at his chest to put space between them and reached up to run her fingers over his cheek. He stopped moving and watched her silently.

She still couldn’t understand what it was about him but whatever it was she was fixated. Everyday she heard or saw something new that should make her scream in fear and run the other way. Could she even have a life with him? How could that even work? No one would understand and she’d end up carted off to the loony bin.

“I’ll ask only ask if you want me to stop once.”

His words startled her, she must have zoned on him.

“I-What are we doing?”

“You really need me to tell you?”

Her cheeks flushed red as his hand went higher and slid under her bra to wrap around one of her breasts. His fingers contracted and she blinked rapidly to try and clear her head

“No, I mean-this? Us? I don’t understand any of it. Are you just going to keep showing up and whenever you do we have sex like I’m your own personal whore Barbie? Am I supposed to ignore everything for someone who refuses to acknowledge anything he feels? You act like you want me to put my life on hold and for what? Sex?. I can get that else ware.”

As the words tumbled out of her mouth, his beautiful face closed down.

“Or…”

“Or what, don’t stop now Azure, you’re on a fucking role.” She flinched before finishing her sentence.

“Or do you only want me because Matt does?"

He jerked his hand out form under her shirt and shoved her away from him roughly. She stumbled before wrapping her arms around herself and waited for him to walk out. Forcing herself not to cry because even if he had no idea what was going on with head and heart one thing she did know is that she didn’t do confrontation with her.