Peanut Butter Banana Sandwiches

The Good Stuff

“Come on Robbie,”
“Forget it! It looks healthy!”
“It has peanut butter on it!”
“Then just give me the peanut butter!”
“You’re impossible!”
“And you’re an annoying pink little girl! What’s your point?”
Stephanie threw her hands in the air and let out a small squeal of frustration, stomping her foot and whirling around to stomp angrily over to where Sportacus was doing crunches.
Robbie poked the celery sticks and his nose wrinkled in disgust. They had been slathered in peanut butter. He wondered how the little pink girl had managed to find one of his few weaknesses besides cake. Of course, any junk food and generally unhealthy things appealed to him, but cake, toffee, peanut butter, and popcorn were his favorites. He wasn’t sure how the last two ended up there. But they had, and now the pixie was trying to use it against him.
Peanut butter and celery indeed.
Stephanie rolled her eyes at him from across the room and he stuck his tongue out at her. She stuck her tongue out at him back. He made a face at her, and she made a worse one.
After about a minute, Sportacus sat up from his exercises, watching the two of them act years (in Robbie’s case, decades) younger than they were. He sighed and considered scolding the both of them, but it looked more like they were bonding than being mean. He settled for grabbing Stephanie around the waist and dragging her to the floor, tickling her unmercifully. She shrieked in laughter and indignation, and he grinned at her as she tried to tickle him back.
“It’s no use,” he told her while her fingers darted across his ribs in desperate swipes. “The only place I’m ticklish is my feet.”
He didn’t immediately see Robbie sneak over to them, and only took notice when the man grabbed both boots and yanked them off. Sportacus yelled, releasing Stephanie and trying to curl so he could perform a flip backwards and away from them.
No such luck. They were too close and the roll took too much time. His feet were pinned with Robbie on one leg and Stephanie on the other. She grinned wickedly at him and he tried to flip over onto his stomach to crawl away. He managed to flip over, but both Stephanie and Robbie clung to him with uncanny grips.
“I think we should tickle him until he shows us more magic,” Stephanie piped up.
“Sounds about right, pinky,” Robbie added, smug now that he was in control. “It’ll be revenge for not telling us sooner.”
“You never asked!” Sportacus yelled, squirming and trying to get to a floor button.
“Regardless,” Robbie said. “Count of three.”
“Ready!” Stephanie called.
“Guys, come on!”
“One!”
“Is it that big a deal?”
“Two!”
“Stephanie!”
“Sorry Sportacus.”
“THREE!”
He yelled desperately as they started the assault on the bottom of his feet, and his toes curled and he tried to go into a roll to escape, but they had him pinned thoroughly. He laughed until his lungs were sore.
“N-no! Ahhha, guys, s-stop, I’ll… I’ll do it, just… AAHH NOT THE TOES!”
The attack abruptly stopped, and he lay limply on the floor, panting for breath.
“Victory!” Robbie crowed. Stephanie cheered and released his leg. Robbie followed, and stood up as Sportacus shakily got to his feet, still recovering from the thorough tickling.
“Magic! Magic! Magic!” Stephanie was chirping happily, twirling around in excitement. He sighed and scratched the back of his head slightly. He knew he should have waited until nightfall to help the flowers…
“Alright,” he grumbled, and did a cartwheel over to the table. He pressed a button and a can of sugary fruit juice popped out while Robbie and Stephanie crowded around him. He didn’t drink the stuff, but Stephanie liked it, so he had a couple stocked for a once-in-a-while snack drink for her. He opened it and poured it into a glass, tossing the empty container into a opening in the wall. He sighed and put his hand over the glass.
“Here we go,” he said, and started rubbing the tips of his fingers together over the liquid.
Both Stephanie and Robbie stared, transfixed, as a fine shimmery powder started drifting into the juice, and the liquid slowly changed color from the dark purple grape, to a perfectly clear color.
“Wow,” Stephanie breathed. Sportacus smiled slightly at her and removed his hand.
“You can drink it if you want,” he said. “It’s just water now.” She eagerly grabbed the glass and sipped it.
“Ooh!” she squealed appreciatively. “It tastes really good!” Sportacus beamed at her, though he still looked mildly apprehensive. He turned to look at Robbie when he heard the man scoff.
“Water never tastes good,” he commented dryly, eyeing the glass with interest none the less. His mind was whirring full-speed trying to figure out what kind of chemical changes had to occur for that to happen, and how in the world the elf produced that powder from his fingertips.
Sportacus laughed lightly and hugged the man. He could tell Robbie was confused and trying to figure it out, but he couldn’t figure it out because it was magic and not science. Robbie was good, excellent even, with science, but the man didn’t know a thing about magic and remained skeptical.
“You think too much Robbie,” Sportacus said, squeezing the taller man slightly.
“No, I think just enough to be sane, unlike some people, thank you.” Robbie shot back. Sportacus just grinned and stood briefly on his toes to kiss the man on the cheek. Robbie looked away, blushing and muttering something about “over affectionate brain-dead jocks”. Stephanie made a face at the two of them for kissing in front of her. Sportacus wiggled his fingers in a tickling motion at her, and she squeaked and giggled, hiding under the table and taking the glass of water with her. She kept sipping it as she hid. It really was good tasting.
“Any other magic tricks, Sports Elf?” Robbie asked teasingly. Sportacus hummed in thought, bouncing lightly on his feet.
“Maybe,” he said finally, being evasive. Robbie raised an eyebrow at him. “Not any that I can show you right now,” he explained further, and while Robbie looked skeptical, he let it go. Stephanie crawled out from under the table.
“Do you want to try it Robbie?” she held up the half-empty glass towards him and he eyed it distastefully.
“It’s water,” he pointed out.
“Magic Elf water,” Stephanie shot back. Sportacus bit his lip to keep from protesting. It was made with magic, but it was just plain water after all… it didn’t have any special powers.
That he knew of, anyway. He had never really given any to anyone, so he couldn’t be sure, but he was pretty sure it didn’t do anything special…
“I suppose…” Robbie grumbled finally, taking the glass gingerly while simultaneously making a disgusted face at it. He raised it up to his face… he glanced at Stephanie.
“Stop staring, Pinky!” he snapped. She huffed and threw up her hands again, spinning around and walking away towards her room.
“Have it your way!” she called back, and Sportacus heard her rummaging through her room before he glanced back at Robbie, who was drinking the water with a strained face. He grinned a little, despite himself. They finally got him to try something outright healthy! He had to restrain himself from doing a back flip from happiness. As it was, he was swinging his arms slightly. Robbie put the glass down back on the table, his face scrunched up in distaste. Sportacus instantly stilled, feeling slightly disappointed.
“You didn’t like it?” he asked. Robbie looked at him.
“Of course I didn’t like it. It’s water. The blandest substance on earth.”
“Oh,” Sportacus said. He expected that, but it would have been nice if Robbie liked it at least a little.
“Does everything about you have to be about forests and all that wholesome junk?” Robbie suddenly asked. Sportacus blinked in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“The water,” Robbie clarified. “It tasted weird. Not that I’d know what it tastes like normally,” he added in quickly. “But ask your pink pixie over there. It seemed like it was… I don’t know, from a mountain stream somewhere or something equally disgusting.” Sportacus grinned at him.
“That first part made you sound nearly poetic Robbie,” he teased. Robbie rolled his eyes.
“I’ll have you know I was a theater major at university,” he said, sounding very self-important again.
“You went to a university?”
“… For a little while.”
“What happened?”
“Too much work. Not enough sleep time.”
Sportacus rolled his eyes at Robbie. The man was lazy no matter what, it seemed. Still, it made sense. The man was… decent at acting, at least. And he didn’t seem to get stage fright very often.
“Sexy,” Sportacus grinned. Robbie’s eyes widened and he froze in surprise. Sportacus laughed and hugged the man, tilting his head up and standing on toes again to kiss him quickly.
“Love you.” he said simply, smiling up at Robbie. He was still frozen. Sportacus cart wheeled off to go help Stephanie find whatever she was looking for in her small room and left Robbie standing there.
Robbie felt hot and cold simultaneously. Hearing that was something… entirely new. It made a rush of warmth go through him, thinking that there was somebody who could say it so easily and be truthful.
But then, there was a feeling of cold dread. He knew the elf wanted to hear it back. And Robbie wanted to say it. He loved the elf, there was no doubt about that anymore. But he couldn’t say it. Something about the words got stuck in his brain. He could think it all day long. But saying it and hearing it with his own ears… Robbie shuddered and leaned against the table.
He really wanted Sportacus right now.
Sportacus blinked in surprise when his crystal beeped softly and glowed.
“Someone needs me…” he murmured to himself. Stephanie looked up from the small pile of books she had been searching through. He smiled vaguely after a moment and stood up from where he had been crouched on the floor helping Stephanie.
“Robbie.” He looked down at Stephanie in his hero pose. “Can you stay here for a minute? I need to help Robbie.” She nodded and went back to her books, trying to pile them back into the built-in bookcase in some semblance of order while he wooshed through his moves and darted out of the room. She sighed and placed a book back where it belonged.
‘The two of them need to get married already,’ she thought.


“Robbie?”
Robbie looked up to see Sportacus approaching him. He was sitting on the table. Sportacus walked closer, planning on hopping up next to the man, but Robbie stopped him and instead wrapped him in a close hug.
“Robbie?” he asked again, wrapping his arms around him as well. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Robbie said lowly, partially hiding his face in the top of Sportacus’ hat.
“Now who’s lying?” Sportacus teased, allowing Robbie to use him for comfort. In reality, he really was worried. His crystal wouldn’t go off like that unless someone really did need him, even if it was rare that someone needed him emotionally rather than physically rescuing them.
Robbie only held onto him tighter.
“I really don’t deserve you at all,” he said as quietly as possible, half-hoping that because his mouth was currently against the material of the hat, the owner of the hat wouldn’t be able to hear him.
No such luck, as usual.
“What?” Sportacus said, leaning back to look up at Robbie’s face. He felt a chill go through him. The look on Robbie’s face was sad, and if there was one thing Sportacus could not stand, it was people he loved being sad, for any reason. He reached up and touched Robbie’s face gently.
“Hey,” he whispered. “What’s wrong?” The gesture only seemed to make Robbie sadder.
“I told you, it’s nothing,” he lied again. “Just… stay here, okay? Like this.”
Sportacus looked up at him questioningly, but he wasn’t one to deny people when they needed him. He hugged Robbie again, resting his head on the man’s chest.
“I wish you’d tell me,” he sighed. He opened his eyes and looked up again when he felt his hat and goggles being removed. Robbie was frowning at them, holding them like they were dirty laundry, before he unceremoniously threw them across the room.
“I don’t know why you wear that thing all the time,” Robbie complained. “I can never see your hair.” Sportacus grinned at him.
“Oh?” he teased. “You like my hair then? I didn’t think that was your thing, Robbie.” He paused, noting that Robbie was really only half paying attention to what he was saying, and the majority of his attention was on his hair.
“I don’t have a thing for hair,” Robbie murmured, one hand defying him and touching an unruly dark blonde lock.
“Hmm… what is your thing then?” He loved it when Robbie’s mind wandered. He could ask whatever questions he wanted and the man hardly ever noticed. He let him play with his hair for awhile longer.
“Mmm,” Robbie hummed, his mind still off somewhere else other than the present. “Your abs are hot,” he finally decided. Sportacus blushed slightly. He remembered how Robbie did seem to like touching there a lot.
“S-so… you have a thing for abs then?” he asked, trying to resist the urge to kiss the man again, as Stephanie was just in the other room and the kiss would probably lead to something else if he wasn’t careful… he didn’t have a huge amount of impulse control.
“No,” Robbie corrected, running a hand fully through the blonde hair and reveling in the small shudder that went through its owner, and the way Sportacus closed his eyes in pleasure at the motion. “More like I just have a thing for you.”
Sportacus opened his eyes wide and stared up at Robbie’s face. Robbie was still staring determinedly at his hair and playing with locks of it. Sportacus felt like his heart might burst. Was that healthy? Was that supposed to happen? He suddenly recalled that first time, and Robbie telling him to just do what felt good. And this feeling… even if it felt like his heart might burst, it was a good feeling.
He realized then that everything about Robbie was about feeling good, with nothing getting in the way of it.
He started laughing, and before the man could get offended, he reached up and dragged him down into a soul-searing kiss.


AN: I’ll write sex when I feel like it. Frankly, I have problems writing out-and-out porn for a kid’s show. I end up disturbing myself. So, uh, any sex being done is gonna be done tastefully. If I hear the word “Sportacock” outside of a otherwise decent fan fiction, I twitch dangerously. Dangerously, because I’m liable to lose control and smash something. Great that you loved the story and all. And there’s gonna be an explicit lemon at the end. Keep your goddamn pants on.