The Boys From Tennessee
folder
G through L › Lost
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
61
Views:
2,685
Reviews:
39
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
G through L › Lost
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
61
Views:
2,685
Reviews:
39
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Lost, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Damaged
The Boys From Tennessee
Rating: Light R
Pairing: Sawyer & Peter talk
Author: Chissy_Rose
Author’s Notes/Disclaimer: They’re not mine, I don’t own them. No infringement intended.
The Boys From Tennessee
Chapter 10 (10/60)
Damaged
Peter was so upset when he got to the bunkroom he was saying ‘fuck’ over and over. He kicked a chair out of the way and started pounding the wall hard with his hands, bloodying them almost immediately.
“Stop it! Don’t!” Sawyer commanded and grabbed Peter and pulled him away from the wall trying to hold him.
“Let me go Sawyer!” Peter cried, struggling, pushing, and trying not to let Sawyer hold him in his arms. Sawyer just turned him around and wrapped his arms around Peter, pulled him close and held him protectively. Peter wept and sobbed inconsolably. Sawyer was making soothing noises, trying to console him. He was worried about Peter and worried that something he had done the night before was the cause of this. Peter finally stopped crying and whispered, “Let me go Sawyer, just let me go.”
But Sawyer wouldn’t release him. He wasn’t even sure if Peter meant just right now or for good. “I’m not gonna let you go. You’re mine, remember? We’re blood.” Peter started crying again. Hell, Sawyer thought, I’ve started him back up again. Sawyer walked him backwards and set Peter down on the bed. “You’ve got to talk to me a few minutes and then maybe you should eat something and chill out.” He sat down on the floor at Peter’s feet, reached over, took Peter’s hands in his and looked up into his eyes. “I’ve gotta know if any of our lovemaking last night has distressed you like this. Is this my fault? Did I push you too hard or too fast? Did I hurt you in any way?”
“Stop it James,” Peter said. Sawyer flinched; it had been years since anyone that mattered had called him by his first name. Peter’s lip was quivering. “It’s me. You still don’t know everything about me. You didn’t do anything that I didn’t really want badly. I’m just confused, anxious and scared.”
“Scared?” Sawyer said, “Of me? Tell me Pete.” Peter tried to look away but Sawyer reached up and guided his face back towards him with his fingertips.
“Not you exactly, but of the two of us together. I told you I thought the Ford men were all messed up. I’m the most fucked up of all. I’ve been promiscuous, wild and unfaithful. I was in therapy for four years and I’m just as miserable now as I was when I started it. You can see the physical scars on my body but you can’t see the emotional ones. You have no idea what I’ve been through. Julie was right when she said I’m damaged. I am, you just haven’t been around me long enough to see it yet. You know what? We’re a lot more alike than you know. I’ve watched you for weeks on this island and actually tried to stay out of your way before I got to know you this week. You’re angry at the world too and you hate yourself sometimes and you try and make others hate you or hurt you back. I don’t know why you’re like that but I’ll bet it’s whatever you’ve been through. And you know what? I’m the same in a lot of ways but I just express it differently. I’m angry at God for what I’ve been through and I hate what I’ve become. I’ve ended up going from person to person desperately searching for acceptance and love but I always end up doing destructive things that drive people away. I don’t think it’s possible for me to be in a long-term loving relationship with someone. I’ll just be unfaithful and hurt you like everybody else that ever tried to care about me. I can’t have an exclusive relationship right now. I’m not ready, do you understand? I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m just not ready yet.” Tears were running down his face again. He reached up and removed the bandage from over his left eye. It was soaked from his tears. “You’re a Ford for Christ sakes. How can we make a relationship work? We’re both damaged and hurt. We can’t even tell each other what’s wrong with us.”
Sawyer got up off the floor and sat down next to Peter on the bed, putting his arm around him. “Being a Ford is not gonna keep us apart. I want to be with you in spite of us both being Ford family men. I’m willing to work at it if you are.”
Peter nodded, “I don’t want to lose you either, but you’ve got to agree that we’re not exclusive. We can be with whomever we want. No strings.”
Sawyer smiled wistfully. “I’ll go along with that for now, but I’m gonna make you want me.” He pulled Peter to him and kissed him slowly three or four times. Just enough to feel him relax and respond to him. “Let’s go eat breakfast and then you need to chill out while I go check on my stuff.” Peter nodded okay and followed him back towards the kitchen.
Rating: Light R
Pairing: Sawyer & Peter talk
Author: Chissy_Rose
Author’s Notes/Disclaimer: They’re not mine, I don’t own them. No infringement intended.
The Boys From Tennessee
Chapter 10 (10/60)
Damaged
Peter was so upset when he got to the bunkroom he was saying ‘fuck’ over and over. He kicked a chair out of the way and started pounding the wall hard with his hands, bloodying them almost immediately.
“Stop it! Don’t!” Sawyer commanded and grabbed Peter and pulled him away from the wall trying to hold him.
“Let me go Sawyer!” Peter cried, struggling, pushing, and trying not to let Sawyer hold him in his arms. Sawyer just turned him around and wrapped his arms around Peter, pulled him close and held him protectively. Peter wept and sobbed inconsolably. Sawyer was making soothing noises, trying to console him. He was worried about Peter and worried that something he had done the night before was the cause of this. Peter finally stopped crying and whispered, “Let me go Sawyer, just let me go.”
But Sawyer wouldn’t release him. He wasn’t even sure if Peter meant just right now or for good. “I’m not gonna let you go. You’re mine, remember? We’re blood.” Peter started crying again. Hell, Sawyer thought, I’ve started him back up again. Sawyer walked him backwards and set Peter down on the bed. “You’ve got to talk to me a few minutes and then maybe you should eat something and chill out.” He sat down on the floor at Peter’s feet, reached over, took Peter’s hands in his and looked up into his eyes. “I’ve gotta know if any of our lovemaking last night has distressed you like this. Is this my fault? Did I push you too hard or too fast? Did I hurt you in any way?”
“Stop it James,” Peter said. Sawyer flinched; it had been years since anyone that mattered had called him by his first name. Peter’s lip was quivering. “It’s me. You still don’t know everything about me. You didn’t do anything that I didn’t really want badly. I’m just confused, anxious and scared.”
“Scared?” Sawyer said, “Of me? Tell me Pete.” Peter tried to look away but Sawyer reached up and guided his face back towards him with his fingertips.
“Not you exactly, but of the two of us together. I told you I thought the Ford men were all messed up. I’m the most fucked up of all. I’ve been promiscuous, wild and unfaithful. I was in therapy for four years and I’m just as miserable now as I was when I started it. You can see the physical scars on my body but you can’t see the emotional ones. You have no idea what I’ve been through. Julie was right when she said I’m damaged. I am, you just haven’t been around me long enough to see it yet. You know what? We’re a lot more alike than you know. I’ve watched you for weeks on this island and actually tried to stay out of your way before I got to know you this week. You’re angry at the world too and you hate yourself sometimes and you try and make others hate you or hurt you back. I don’t know why you’re like that but I’ll bet it’s whatever you’ve been through. And you know what? I’m the same in a lot of ways but I just express it differently. I’m angry at God for what I’ve been through and I hate what I’ve become. I’ve ended up going from person to person desperately searching for acceptance and love but I always end up doing destructive things that drive people away. I don’t think it’s possible for me to be in a long-term loving relationship with someone. I’ll just be unfaithful and hurt you like everybody else that ever tried to care about me. I can’t have an exclusive relationship right now. I’m not ready, do you understand? I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m just not ready yet.” Tears were running down his face again. He reached up and removed the bandage from over his left eye. It was soaked from his tears. “You’re a Ford for Christ sakes. How can we make a relationship work? We’re both damaged and hurt. We can’t even tell each other what’s wrong with us.”
Sawyer got up off the floor and sat down next to Peter on the bed, putting his arm around him. “Being a Ford is not gonna keep us apart. I want to be with you in spite of us both being Ford family men. I’m willing to work at it if you are.”
Peter nodded, “I don’t want to lose you either, but you’ve got to agree that we’re not exclusive. We can be with whomever we want. No strings.”
Sawyer smiled wistfully. “I’ll go along with that for now, but I’m gonna make you want me.” He pulled Peter to him and kissed him slowly three or four times. Just enough to feel him relax and respond to him. “Let’s go eat breakfast and then you need to chill out while I go check on my stuff.” Peter nodded okay and followed him back towards the kitchen.