Sessions

Grissom and Sara were in the break room together. This was the most time they had spent together in weeks. They had slowly been reacquainting themselves via email but this was different. The last time they were alone together Sara poured her heart out to him. She had asked him if they could work together, it was her request. There was silence emitting from the room. Sara, keep things safe, talk about work. “I found the fibres on that towel from the Connors case, they matched the ones you found.”

“Did you find anything else conclusive?” He was looking at the floor avoiding eye contact.

Still, working on it." Sara quickly rose and headed past him. His arm stopped her when she reached the doorway. Slowly she met his eyes. The mere touch of her sent chills down his spine and made every nerve in his body take notice. "Sara," he began not breaking eye contact. "I think we need to talk."

"Sure, Grissom," Sara said slowly. She backed away and sat in a chair waiting for him to say something. She was well aware of the hair standing up on the back of her neck.

He was silent, not unusual for Grissom. He wasn't used to dealing with people especially when it had to do with his feelings. He cleared his throat, "Sara. I have a problem."

Sara remained silent, waiting for him to continue. She fought back the impulse however to reach over and take his hand. He reminded her of a scared, lost little boy. He had to draw up the courage to continue. Every fibres of his being wanted to bolt but he knew that wasn't going to cure his problems. "Sara, something happened to me when I left you at Harvard after we had been together.”

"What" her voice was soft. Images of them together in his car, in her dorm room floated through her mind. Just stop it! Focus, Sidle!

"Well after our relationship ended, a part of me left with it, or so it seems. It feels that way." He was fidgeting with the cuff of his shirt trying to calm his nerves.

"Grissom what are you trying to say?"

"I have an addiction to sex." There I said it. Now I feel exposed like a deer in the headlights with a hunter in front of me with a gun. She knows my one weakness. Her.

Sara was momentarily stunned. She finally said, "I'm not sure what I can do."

"I need your help. My therapist says that when our relationship ended was when this all started." He looked into her eyes, pleading to her, "When I called you to come here, I got worse. My therapist suggests I ask you to help me overcome my addiction and learn to love again. To feel again. To be human because lately I don't feel like anything, just an empty vessel."

Something in Grissom's eyes caught Sara by surprise. She found herself agreeing to his request. "We can start today after shift if you want."

He was stunned. She agreed to help him. "How are we going to do this?" He asked his voice quivering.

I haven't the foggiest idea Sara thought. "Your place?"

"Sure. How is 9:30? Will that work for you?"

Just get any thoughts out of your head about staying with him, Sara. It's not going to happen. "Sure. That works." Sara looked up at the clock. "I better get back to work.”

"We will discuss this further, later, away from here." Don't let her see you are scared. "Ok. I’ll see you then."

The following morning, Sara parked two blocks away from Grissom's townhouse just to be on the safe side. She rang the doorbell, shifting the bag that held the newly purchased teddy under her arm. He looked thru the peephole. He already knew who it was, he seldom got company. He opened the door to see Sara standing there with a package. "What's in the bag?" He asked as he ushered her into his house.

"Just a teddy. I wasn't sure how you wanted to do this," Sara said as she walked in.

Grissom wasn't sure how he was going to answer that. "I'm not sure what to do about this." The familiar phrase he had used once before rang out in his head. "Whatever you are comfortable with, Sara is fine with me."

Sara bit back a sigh at the stinging words. She made herself smile. "Have you had breakfast?"

"No." He nearly had to force the words out. This is going to be harder that I thought. "How about pancakes?"

"I…Okay." Sara put her bag down by the door and followed Grissom into the kitchen; already reminding herself this wasn't for her.

He fluttered about and fixed pancakes with fruit. He passed a plate to her accompanied with a glass of orange juice. "Would you prefer wine?" He asked.

"I'm fine with orange juice."

"All right." They ate in silence not knowing what to say to each other.

Finally the moment came after dishes had been cleared away. Sara quickly stole away to the bathroom to check her teeth. She tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach. She desperately tried to detach herself...this was scientific. She told herself. It meant nothing. Grissom met her back in the living room and showed her to the bedroom. "Are you going to put that thing on?" He pointed the bag.

"Do you want me to?"

"It may make it better for me." He stuttered over his words.” If you don't mind."

Sara nodded and quickly turned before Grissom could see the tear that was on her cheek. She changed in the guest bedroom before rejoining Grissom. She stood before him in the delicate fabric and he nearly stopped breathing. "You look amazing."

Sara managed a small smile and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting to be told what to do next. He disrobed from his clothing and sat on the bed beside her in his underwear. He reached over and grabbed her hand. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"You said it might help."

"I appreciate this. You know that right." There was an awkward silence, "How about some music?"

"Whatever helps," Sara told him trying to sound helpful. She kept repeating like a mantra Stay detached...no feelings...stay detached.

He got up and pushed play on the CD player, Comfortably Numb rang out, that was about how he was feeling at this moment, numb. "So I guess maybe we should kiss or something and see where that goes."

Sara obediently got to her feet and walked toward him again. She slowly put one hand around his neck and then the other. She drew her lips toward his. The kiss sent shivers throughout his whole body. He reached up and put his hands in her hair. He walked her backwards not breaking the kiss and dropped her ever so gently on the bed. They broke the kiss to allow their lungs some much-needed oxygen. Sara brought her hands up to stroke his neck as shivers ran down her spine. After a beat, she plunged into his mouth again, this time wanting entry. He obliged and allowed his tongue to dance with his. He reached and grazed her breast. He pulled away quickly. "Sara, I don't want to hurt you." He sat up on the bed. Another Brick in the Wall rang out through the room.

"Grissom, you're not hurting me," she reassured him.

"I want to be sure. I know I have hurt you before." He looked into her eyes and they told him everything, the want, the lust, the passion, it was all there. He figured it was probably mirrored in his own eyes.

“You're not hurting me," she repeated a little softer this time.

He leaned in to resume the kiss, begging her to oblige him. He reached up to touch her face. Her skin was so soft. Sara emitted a soft moan as she opened her mouth to him. The moan echoed throughout his whole body. His hands began to trace the delicate fabric covering her body, Hot prickles of sensations raced through Sara's body and she knew Grissom would feel her shiver. It was getting harder and harder not to show how she felt. He loved the way she reacted to him. No other woman ever reacted that way to him. Maybe that was the reason he was having such problems moving on, no one could ever compare to Sara, he would have to remember to mention that to his therapist. Sara's hands left Grissom and balled up into fists instinctively.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? I told you I didn't want to hurt you...” his voice trailed off

Slowly Sara opened her eyes. "It...." she was out of breath. "I'm fine. It just.... whoa..."

"What just happened, did you just...from that kiss?" The sheer shock was eminent in his eyes.

"I. Guess I forgot what a good kisser you are," Sara said a little sheepishly.

Grissom began to blush. All the thoughts of days gone by rushed back all at once. His body was on fire longing for her to touch him. "Sara, please, will you touch me?" He couldn't believe he had asked. Sara smiled and put her hands back on his shoulders. She gently stroked his bare skin again, feeling that same fire in her fingertips. Many forgotten emotions were racing through his body. He reached over to touch her and tugged at the teddy trying to free her beautiful body from its lace prison.

"Need some help with that, Doctor?" Sara murmured in his ear as she gently nibbled his earlobe.

He smiled a million-dollar smile. He slid the straps down her shoulders revealing her taunt breasts. He couldn't resist the urge to touch them. Sara bit back a moan, ordering her body to relax. But she couldn't help responding to him. He teased the nipples and suckled each one lowering the teddy further down to reveal her flat belly and her belly button, he had always loved her belly button.

The groan escaped her lip this time. She even groaned "Gil..........."

Her body arched back on the bed. He took advantage of this and lowered the rest of the garment off of her and disrobed himself in nearly the same step. Looking at her naked body nearly sent him over the edge. No woman in the last eight years had ever compared to her. It had only been sex, no emotions. This was different. Sara squeezed her eyes shut as her heart began hammering in her chest.

"Sara, open your eyes and look at me, please” he was insistent.

She unquestioningly opened her eyes to look into the blue pools of his eyes. He rolled her over so she was under him and he took in her essence, her smell was intoxicating, he was sure he could get drunk in Sara. She couldn't take it anymore. She didn't care if this was just therapy...she loved Grissom and that was it.

Her entire demeanour and attitude changed as she caressed his face. "It's okay," she murmured softly.

He could see something was different, right in that moment it all changed. "Sara," he breathed in her ear, “please allow me to make love to you?"

“Please...want you to," she whispered hoarsely back as she blinked back tears. Her caresses grew softer.

He arched his hips and his erection rubbed against her thigh. He lined himself up and began to thrust. Sara whimpered as her legs wrapped around Grissom. She buried her face in his neck as she instinctively began to move with him. A part of her knew that this might not last...but she wanted to make the best of it.

"More...please....."

Never being able to refuse Sara, he thrust harder and faster, leaning down to fondle her breasts with one hand while he braced himself with the other

"God....so good." She arched her head back again. "YES!!!"

He thrust one more time and let go within her walls. He collapsed on top of her and looked into her eyes. "Am I too heavy?"

Sara, who was still trying to catch her breath, kissed his sweaty forehead. "You're perfect," she said softly.

“Thank You.” Was all he could manage. It sounded stupid, he realized that after it came out of his mouth, what was he thinking, she didn't offer him an appetizer, he stayed for the whole meal, she deserved more than that. "Sara." His words fell short; his brain had caught up with his heart

"Just rest, Grissom." She kissed his forehead again. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled the comforter up over them.