Dichotomy

Dichotomy

By Danyealle-sama

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Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural and make no money off this work.

 

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Summary: Set in Season 4. Dean is back from hell and a mess. Sam is going down a dark path with Ruby. And Castiel is fascinated by the one being he shouldn't be as he knows what's coming. Cas/Sam/Dean

 

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Dedication:

This is for Tenchi, my most amazing beta. She's been with me since I was doing Supreme Conquest and Lord Sh'omamoo (because I didn't even know, I had to check the dates and we're talking '09 as a start for Supreme Conquest and she came on midway into that). She came on to beta my Inuyasha work then, when I started shifting fandoms, though she didn't know the ones I was working in, did those as well. Not only that, she helps me get some of my ancient stuff, and others, ready to submit for publication. She not only beta's for me, she works with my evil alter ego and doesn't bat an eyelash at some of the strange stuff that comes from that direction. How could you not love someone that does all this for you for no pay, does it, most times, in 24 hours or less and with very little recognition for all the hard work she puts into it? You can't. So, this is for you, Tenchi. I hope you love it!



Love and hugs,

Dani

1/14/13

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Beta'd by the most amazing Tenchi. Love you woman!

 

For updates notices for this, or any of my stories, send an email to Danyealle-sama_Updates@live.com. Give the name of the story you want notified about or just say all of them. Thanks to Rogue for taking the time out of her busy schedule and running that for me!

 

 

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Chapter 1

 

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Heaven and earth are moving my soul

I don't know where to start

Tell me, tell me the words to define

Someone so fine

How do you talk to an angel?

-How Do You Talk To An Angel

-The Heights

 

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Standing out of sight from the hotel, Castiel made sure to stay in the shadows and just watched, not alerting anyone to his presence. Wind rippling his trench coat, he just observed, eyes locked on Dean as he exited the room then piled into the Impala before tearing out of the parking lot. Though he wasn't exactly all that used to the older Winchester's habits by now, he knew enough by this point that he was certain that Dean was off to another of those establishments where humans imbibed copious amounts of alcohol and tried to find companionship for the night from the opposite sex. Part of him, the chunk that was trying to follow the orders he was given, knew he should try to dissuade Dean from once more pursuing such things because it was causing big issues for more than just his brother but he didn't. Instead, his gaze shifted to the hotel. He was also aware Sam was in there.

 

Locking eyes on the hotel, he felt, once again, that strange surge when he thought about the younger Winchester. Of all the beings in the world, he was well aware what Sam was and his destiny. He was also aware of the fact that Sam was following the path so many had nudged, pushed, cajoled and persuaded him down, not realizing what was happening. No, honestly, in the time he had spent talking to Sam, he didn't see him as an evil being the way so many were, even his own kind. In fact, what he saw was someone desperately trying to do the right thing and save beings. He just wasn't going about it the right way was all. Then there was the fact that Sam was easy to talk to and quite kind hearted. Yes, he had a temper. So did his brother, though. So, the angel didn't see that as necessarily a bad thing. The only issue he could define was it was worse than it should be because of what was going on with that demon.

 

Shutting his eyes, the angel's head dropped and he tried to think. He was well aware that those who he answered to wanted this to play out just as it was supposed to. Though he had brought up the fact that he thought he could dissuade Sam off the dark path he was following, they didn't want that. They had, of course, brought up the issue of free will, making it known that they thought this was the very definition of that. As always, he had agreed with him and no more was said of it. However, just because that is what he told them, it wasn't how he felt.

 

Since coming in contact with the Winchesters, he was starting to see things differently. No longer was he seeing blind obedience as something he had to do. This wasn't an issue of right, wrong and following what someone told him anymore. It came down to something else and he was wrestling with it. From what he was seeing, having talked to those that were in charge of this whole operation, there was a serious gray area here. Both brothers, but especially Sam, were falling into that. He was seriously confused over that at this point. There was a decision as to him doing what was right and what others wanted him to do coming over it, that he knew, but it wasn't one he wanted to make either. Free will was touted over this, all of it, but he wasn’t seeing it that way anymore. That bothered him.

 

Taking several steps back to where he was more surrounded by the darkness of the small copse of trees he was standing in, the angel turned around, making sure his back was to the hotel so that he could think. Shutting his eyes, he tilted his head back, trying to think. Those problems were enough of an issue for him, they really were, but there was another he was dealing with. It was, in his mind, even bigger than the aforementioned ones. Nor did he know how to handle it either. Once again, as he did so many times in the past when he was confused or burdened with issues he didn't know how to handle, he asked his father for guidance. No, like had been happening for so long now, he didn't think he would get an answer but he hoped, this time anyway, that wouldn't be the case.

 

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Sitting at the wobbly table in the room, Sam was sipping at a beer while he skimmed through some web pages, researching. No, they weren't on a hunt or anything right now, but he was working on the whole Armageddon angle and seeing what he could find when it came to things that might help them. He wasn't counting on getting help with much since everything seemed to contradict everything else, as no one could agree on how things were interpreted in that book. Then there were the angels saying something completely different from everything else. He was going to try though. Any kind of help they could get right now would be most welcome. Nor was he sure how much the angelic faction would assist them so it was best if he could gather what he was able to find.

 

Though that was a good reason to do this, it really was, it wasn't the only one behind it. Dean, and worrying about his brother, was driving him to keep himself busy so that he didn't think about it so much when his brother was gone. Since coming back from hell, Dean wasn't dealing with things well. Sure, the drive to hunt was there as well as trying to stop what was going on, both things were something Dean threw himself into. When he was doing that, Dean was fine, though a little more intense than he normally was. Sam had expected that, honestly, knowing what his brother was like. However, when he didn't have things to do, Dean was having issues. No, being Dean, he wasn't going to admit he had them but Sam knew they were there. He assumed that most of it had to do with having been in hell, and what happened there, but there was a strange thing about it as well. From what he had seen, his brother couldn't even look at him anymore. There seemed to be something about him that put Dean on edge. It also seemed that Dean spent a large amount of their down time avoiding being in the same room as he was. Sam didn't get that. Nor was he going to poke his brother to talk about it. Last time he did that there was a minor blow up over it. As prickly as Dean seemed to be about so much, he knew not to poke the sleeping bear with a sharp stick. Eventually, Dean would open up and it would come out, it was just going to be a waiting game for him to do it.

 

Leaning back in his chair, Sam took a pull off his beer and sighed, rubbing his eyes. There was so much going on right now, what with Dean back and that putting a slow down on what he was doing with Ruby, that he was feeling pulled in several directions. Tossing the angels into the mix, something that caused him to be wary to start with, made this so complicated. He felt what he was doing was right but knew he couldn't reveal it to anyone. That made some serious guilt curdle in his stomach. He hated hiding things from everyone but knew he had to so many times. Like in the past, he was sure this was bound to come back and bite him on the ass at some point since most things did. He didn't want it to, though, as he was sure he was doing the right thing.

 

Setting the bottle back on the table, he looked at his cell and wondered if he shouldn't give the demon a call. He was certain that Dean would be gone for quite some time so they could work on things for a while. He wasn't sure about that though. It might not be a good idea. After all, though he had a feeling about Dean, he couldn't be sure.

 

Picking up the phone, he looked at it, wondering what to do. Then, suddenly, there was a flutter of wings behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he nodded to Castiel then said, “Hey, Cas. Dean isn't here right now.”

 

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Castiel wasn't sure why he popped into the room with Sam, he really wasn't. It was almost a drive that he couldn't resist that brought him here. Since he was here, though, he was going to go with what he had been thinking about.

 

Stepping around to where he could be face to face with Sam, he said, tone deadpan as normal but slightly softer than usual, “It wasn't him that I came to speak to, it's you.”

 

Stiffening up, Sam looked at him, feeling a tension start to creep over him. Since they had come into play, the angels wanting to talk to him was never a good thing. Usually, it had to do with being chided for something or other. No, he wasn't in the mood for that. With a sigh, he rubbed his eyes then asked, “What's up now?”

 

Sensing an uptick in Sam's anxiety level, Cas' brow furrowed slightly. He didn't want the younger Winchester to be apprehensive about this going in. That would make things all the harder for him. No, he had to do something to alleviate it. How he didn't know, though. He still wasn't all that good with interacting with humans. They were so strange, acting very differently than angels did when it came to things. Not to mention all the emotions they dealt with all the time. It was confusing!

 

Not sure what to do to stop things before Sam became more apprehensive and on the defensive, Cas decided he needed to make sure that no being from either side could hear anything they were going to talk about. Once that was done, he would sit down and try to talk to Sam, working with things the best he could. Walking over to the walls, he burnt sigils into them that would last only a few hours, ensuring that neither side could see or hear anything, no matter what they tried.

 

Brow furrowed, Sam felt more wary after watching Cas. Though he wasn't sure what the angel had just done, he was certain that it was some form of protection of some kind. Why the hell would he need such a thing? That he didn't know but it had him on edge. “Cas? What are you doing? What's all that for?”

 

Though Sam seemed more anxious now than before, Cas didn't say anything. Making certain he had everything in place, he then walked over and sat at the table on the opposite side of the younger Winchester.

 

Eying him warily, Sam was tense, waiting for an answer and what may come of it.

 

“Those are Enochian sigils. They will ensure that none of what we talk about is overheard by either side. I wanted to talk to you about some things that are going on and don't want anyone to overhear. They'll last for a few hours then fade out.” Stopping, Cas looked down at the table then said, voice lower than before, “There is much about some things that is troubling me. I was hoping that talking to you about them, as you're involved, would help with that. It will also give you information that you need to know.”

 

Looking around at the strange symbols the angel had put up, Sam nodded, “Protection is always good. Can you teach me these things?” With how things were going, he was sure something such as this would come in handy at some point.

 

“I can,” Cas nodded. “Right now, however, I think it's best to fill you in on everything that is going on. We can then deal from there.”

 

Facing the angel again, Sam asked, “Is there more to this whole mess than the Armageddon thing? 'Cause, dude, that's bad enough!”

 

“There is more. It's all entwined but it's more than you know,” Case told him, looking pointedly at him.

 

Stiffening up once more, Sam nodded then said, “Alright, tell me what's up.”

 

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An hour later, when the angel finally trailed off, having gone over as much of what he knew as he could, Sam was seated across from him, head down, hands clasped between his spread knees, elbows resting on his thighs. Oh, hell yes, this was a lot to digest! Not to mention that it made him feel more than slightly sick over all he had been roped into without knowing it.

 

After several minutes, he finally looked up at the angel then asked, “Though I don't know where to even start with some of this, the first thing that comes to mind is are you going to be able to protect yourself from your side of things if they find out you told me what they don't want us knowing?”

 

For Castiel, that question defined so much of what he knew about Sam and how he had been led down the path he had. He cared more about others than he did himself, enough that he was willing to jump at a chance to do what he felt was right by others rather than thinking it through. With a nod, he told him, “I can. I may end up cut off from heaven and some of my powers will not work, but I can protect myself with a combination of things. It's not me you need to worry about, Sam.”



“Yeah, plenty worried about Dean too,” Sam told him, rubbing a hand across his face then through his hair. “What happened down there is driving him over the edge. The part you told me is enough to explain some of what is going on, but he's having other issues as well. I imagine it has to do with some of what went on down there.”

 

“Dean is an issue, yes,” Cas conceded, “but the bigger one is yourself. You are following just what they all want you to do. In doing that, Dean, in the end, because of what he's like, is going to get into step with what they want as well. I know what is bothering Dean and it's something that we can work with, but we have to deal with your end of things as well. Dean is actually the part that will come after we've settled some issues with you.”

 

Nodding, Sam sighed then shrugged. “I don't know how to go about that, though. The blood...” trailing off, he just shrugged again, turning his head so he didn't have to look at the angel. By now, he was well aware that the blood was addicting in some way. Because of the powers it gave him, he was more than willing to continue on to not only save the innocents that were inhabited by demons but to off Lilith. From the sound of things, though, he needed to stop, but wasn't sure how to do that.

 

Looking intently at the younger Winchester, Cas said, “I can break the addiction, Sam. I can also ensure that neither side can find you. Beyond that, you and I have to do something to ensure that Ruby disappears. She might be helping you in some ways, but it's to further her own agenda with others as it's intended to get you to trust her. That needs to stop.”

 

“Yeah, it does, I agree,” Sam nodded. “How's it done though? Both, I mean?”

 

“Hiding you is easiest. I can do that right now.” Standing up, he walked over to the younger Winchester then put a hand on his breastbone. Hearing Sam hiss then seeing him clutch his chest when he finished, he said, “I've burnt the sigils onto your ribs. They will hide you from both factions of things.

 

Wincing, rubbing his ribs, Sam nodded then chuckled, “Dude, before you do things like that, warn a guy!”

 

Looking at Sam, brow furrowed, Cas was about to apologize when he finally understood what the younger Winchester was going for. “Ah, that's a joke. I get it now. I didn't think about the fact it may hurt.”

 

Grinning, shaking his head, Sam then said, “Alright. Protection in place. Now, about this blood thing... when can we do that.”

 

“It has to be done soon but we can't tonight. I'm unsure when Dean will return and it'll take several hours to purge it from your system,” Cas explained, giving Sam a serious look. “I will see what I can't do to make sure we have time to take care of it in the next few days.”

 

“Yeah, we better. And we need to do something to get Ruby off my back as well. She's not going to let me alone at this point. The pressure, now that I know what's really going on, to get on with this is there. I didn't see that before, but I do now,” Sam sighed, shaking his head.

 

“You and I will handle Ruby without Dean's knowledge. It's best, for now, to let Dean go on how he is and let him keep thinking along the lines he has been while we shift some things into place. He's...” stopping, the angel tried to think how to word things since this was the one area he hadn't really covered with Sam. He wanted to wait for another time, preferably in the next couple days, to drop this part onto Sam. “Dean is dealing with some other things right now. It's best that he not get suspicious about other maneuvering that we might be doing. We will, eventually, tell him, but now isn't the time for that.”

 

Sighing, thinking this was just going to be another secret that he had to hide from his brother, Sam nodded. He didn't like it, not wanting to hide things from Dean unless he had to, but it sounded like he needed to do just that. “Alright, gotcha. No telling Dean right now. We're going to have to be careful, though, or he's going to get really suspicious. I mean, it's not like you and I spend time alone. You usually turn up only when he's around.”

 

“This I understand, yes,” Cas nodded. “I will be cautious in that aspect then ensure that I also come around and act as I always do. I'll have to be doing the same thing around some of my own kind as well. Never fear, it's something I can manage.”

 

Thinking this was just more pressure on him, though in a different way, Sam sighed. “Yeah, gonna have to be careful with this. Dean's already not himself and having issues even being around me. I don't want to set him off then have to lie to him if I can at all help it.”

 

“We will move as fast as we can with this then work towards making sure Dean comes around. While doing that, you and I will see what we can do to work towards stopping what is going on. It will be...” brow furrowing, Cas tried to come up with the right word then said, “challenging to do but I think we can manage.”

 

“I hope like hell we can or both our butts are in a sling, Cas!” Sam chuckled.

 

Frowning slightly, Cas tried to understand what Sam meant by that. Initially, all the imagery that came from it was not only inappropriate, it didn't seem to fit with what they were talking about. Then it hit him. Nodding, he said, “A metaphor. I get it now. Yes, we'll be in a great deal of trouble if we can't keep this to ourselves.”

 

Chuckling, shaking his head, Sam then sobered up. “Look, dude, I know this isn't going to be easy no matter how we go about it but I'm not sure I can handle this alone. You don't show up much...”

 

Interrupting Sam, Cas told him, “I will ensure I'm around more. I'll show up as much as I can and make certain that I pop in when Dean’s around. For now, we'll leave it. Tomorrow night I'll come back when you're alone, provided Dean does leave, then we'll work from there.”

 

“Yeah, we have to work to get something in place as to how to go about this so it meshes and we don't give things away,” Sam sighed, already trying to figure out how to go about this, ducking all factions of the nightmare.

 

“We will come up with something, Sam. Tonight we can't. We just have to think it over to start.” Cas told him bluntly.

 

“Yeah, this is enough for one night,” Sam chuckled sadly, shaking his head, mind all over about the issue.

 

Stepping closer to the younger Winchester, Cas looked at him intently. There was that urge again, the one he so didn't understand nor was he certain that anyone else would either, especially from his faction of things, but it was there. It was hard to fight off as well. He had heard of such things in the past and it had been done, but it had been a long time since such a thing had happened. However, since he was of the mindset that things weren't being done that were right, more because someone wanted them, ignoring so much, he was going to go for it anyway.

 

Putting a hand on the back of Sam's head, he pulled him down slightly then kissed him. As he hadn't done this before, it wasn't a polished thing like that of a being that had experience. However, what he lacked in experience, he more than made up for in passion as he poured a great deal of that into the kiss.

 

Once he broke it off, he stepped back and looked intently at Sam.

 

Sputtering, stunned, Sam stammered out, “What the hell, Cas?”

 

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