Through This House (Give Glimmering Light)

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I make no profit from writing this.

Author's Notes: Not a death fic, I promise! Please just stick with it long enoug to get to the second chapter!


The first time he saw her he had to look twice. But, she was still there. He shook his head, blinked slowly twice and looked again. He started from her fabulous boots, up the trim, slight body encased fashionably in a pair of dark wash skinny blue jeans and a beautiful off the shoulders sweater in a fire engine red that accented her porcelain skin with the just barest hints of pink undertone. It was the same tone of red that made his skin look perfect. He continued up to her hair, left long, almost to the small of her back, and unbound, in the same exact color as his own. His breath began to come in little gasps when her lips curved up into the smile that he knew so well. It was the same one forever on her face in the picture the picture he had kept on his dresser since he could remember. He looked higher into eyes that she had given him. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He shook his head again, more violently, and didn't manage not to rub his eyes, despite the way his brain insisted it would smear his mascara. But, he didn't want to listen to his brain at the moment. It couldn't be trusted. It was trying to get him to believe things that had to be his imagination. After all, there was no way that his mother could be standing in the Lima mall, smiling at the small family that was walking by as she headed toward the shoe store that Kurt himself loved so much. His mother had been dead for eight years, nearly nine. The woman across the crowds from him could not be his mother. However, the mental scolding he treated himself to didn't stop him from bolting from his friends like a track star to go to her. She slipped inside the show store just before he did and when he came to halt just inside the door, breathing harshly, tears already in his eyes and ready to call out to her the only things he found were a clerk glaring at him and five other patrons looking at him with expressions that ranged from curiosity to annoyance. There was no sign of her anywhere.

"What the hell is wrong with you, boy?" Mercedes demanded when his friends finally caught up with him, still standing awkwardly in the doorway of the shoe store. He was unable to answer, he was so shaken. When he turned and they saw his pale face and trembling hands they wasted no time or words at all. Minutes later he found himself at his favorite nail place, his feet already in the pedicure water while Mercedes and Tina held his hands without speaking and Rachel and Artie went to get him a Starbucks and a macadamia nut white chocolate chip cookie from the food court.

Rachel hadn't originally been invited on their little outing that afternoon, but when they had seen her in the tuxedo place, glazing over while her dads debated the style and cut of tuxedo to wear to a black tie wedding they had taken pity on her. That was the type of thing Kurt could enjoy, but not Rachel. And, to be honest, she had been getting so much better now that she and Finn were officially dating. She made an effort to get along with Kurt and he made an effort to get along with her. First it had been for Finn's sake, but they were slowly becoming friends. He was glad for all of their presences as he tried to calm himself and bring his adrenaline down. They all made him feel steadier. When his hands finally stopped shaking he explained to them in a very quiet voice what had happened, what he thought he'd seen. They all made the appropriate noises of sympathy and comfort at all the right times and he nearly cried again when Tina and Mercedes declared that they would be having a sleepover and that Kurt had no say in the matter. He was relieved when Rachel said her dads already had plans and she had to decline. She was getting better, there was no doubt about it, but that didn't mean that Kurt wanted her around all the time quite yet.

Hours later, when he was snuggled on the couch in his room, between Mercedes and Tina, he was glad that he had finally let people in. It felt good to know that his friends knew him well enough to do exactly what he needed that night. After they dropped Artie off at home Tina and Mercedes took him home and immediately pushed him into the bathroom for a hot shower and pampering session with his moisturizers. When he finally came back into his room, bundled in his most comforting flannel pajamas that he would never admit to owning, they had two pints of Ben and Jerry's, three spoons, and a few well chosen tearjerker movies at the ready so that he would both be able to simultaneously drown his sorrows in sugar and let himself cry with an excuse that had nothing to do with what had happened that afternoon. Burt and Finn came down the stairs to tell Kurt they were home just as 'A Walk to Remember' was finishing. When they saw the three on the couch Burt just rolled his eyes and said he would order pizza before he walked back upstairs. Finn just sighed before mumbling something about making up the couch upstairs for himself and following Burt up the stairs.

When he woke up the next morning, Mercedes holding him close and Tina's back against his, he finally felt steady and as if he was ready to take on the real world that he lived in. His mother was dead and she had been since he was eight. And that was okay. He had loved her. He loved her still, but she was gone. Maybe his mind had created something that he wished he could see, but it was probably due to the pressure of his life lately. After all, he was trying to balance three very physical, very tasking activities while also working at his father's garage, keeping his grades up, and helping Carole plan for what was fast becoming the not simple wedding that she had wanted but had been afraid to ask for. He was more than happy to volunteer his help. Carole's first wedding had been a small ceremony at City Hall before her new husband shipped out. She deserved everything with her second and though she didn't want to say it, because she didn't want to seem like she was making a fuss, Kurt was going to make sure that she received the fairy tale day that she had always wanted. And it was hard to be preparing simultaneously for playoffs with football because they, and no one had expected it, were actually good this fall, regionals with the Cheerios, (He was only allowed to keep playing football because none of the dates interfered and they didn't have full shows during football games so Kurt didn't technically have to be with the cheerleaders. Sue had nearly castrated him when he suggested it, but Ken Tanaka falling on his knees in front of her and practically sobbing had convinced her that Kurt was needed by the football team as much as the Cheerios needed him.) and sectionals with New Directions would put a strain on anyone. He was managing, though apparently not as well as he'd thought. He would just have to make more time to rest so that his mind didn't try to make things up in his exhaustion. He was satisfied with his realization and what he had decided to keep it from happening again and was downright chipper as he got the girls up and told them that was going to make them all pancakes. Neither girl had the heart to tell him that he'd trembled and cried in his sleep all night.

It was after that day that Kurt began to notice little things that didn't seem quite right with his body. After running through a number with the Cheerios that he had done nearly five dozen times perfectly he was out of breath. He hid it well as he moved to the water cooler and by the time he took a drink he was feeling steadier. He was tackled during practice, not very hard, but couldn't seem to get back up. It took Coach Tanaka nearly a minute to get him to respond and Puck had his cell phone in hand, ready to call an ambulance, when Kurt finally sat up and told them that he was okay. They all assumed that it was because he was so small that the tackle had taken him down so readily. He tended to agree with them and none of them thought anything of it aside from putting more protection on him when he was on the field. They needed him. He got dizzy momentarily in Glee and almost fell before Puck caught him. The dizziness cleared right away and he pushed himself out of Puck's arms with a look that was a cross between begrudging thanks and disgust. Puck just laughed at him and they went back to their choreography. But all of those things happened when he was doing something exerting. It only began to scare him when as he was going through his nightly skin care ritual his fingers went numb and he dropped the bottle of moisturizer.

"You okay, dude?" Finn asked, picking the bottle up and setting it back on his vanity, "You've seemed kinda off these past few days."

"I'm fine, Finn," Kurt assured him, though he wasn't sure that he really believed it himself. Finn was a strong young man, but in many, many ways he was still just a boy and was able to maintain his confidence as long as someone else presented a confident air. As long as Kurt acted like everything was okay Finn would be fine, too. So, he pushed aside his fear and said, "I just need to sleep a little more. I've been doing a lot lately."

"Just don't…don't push yourself, okay?" Finn looked so concerned that Kurt couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. He patted Finn on the cheek, but Finn took it in the spirit it was meant and just smiled at Kurt, though it didn't reach his eyes.

"Don't worry about me, big brother," He said brightly, smiling and hoping that Finn couldn't see how easy it would be for his façade to fall if he just pushed a little more, "I'll get more rest, promise."

"And eat more," Finn said, as he stood up straight again and crossed the room.

"If you insist," Kurt laughed and went back to his nightly ritual, keeping the smile on his face as he watched Finn watching him in the mirror.

Over the next three weeks Kurt tried to pretend that everything was alright. Aside from the fact that his bouts with weakness happened more and more often -he'd come to call them episodes- he felt fine. It was nearly once a day that he couldn't catch his breath, or he felt the strange sort of detachment from the world as he had felt on the football field the day he was tackled, or he got so dizzy he almost fell. But, he didn't want to think about what it could mean, he didn't want to admit to himself that something could be wrong, and so he didn't. He pretended everything was normal and because he was pretending his friends were also pretending. They pretended that they couldn't see the way he got paler and thinner every day despite the fact that he was eating as he always had and wasn't forcing himself to throw up. That had been everyone's first thought and so Finn watched him closely when he was at home, ear pressed to the door whenever he went to the bathroom, and Mercedes watched him during the day. But, no one could find fault with how he was caring for himself.

Burt and Carole were the only ones who weren't pretending, who couldn't pretend. Carole because she could see how much Kurt's sudden illness (Because she and Burt were convinced that he was very, very ill.) was affecting Burt and because in the short time that she and her own son had been living with Burt and his she had come to care for the snarky, fashionable young man more than she had ever imagined. She had thought it would be hard to love someone else's child, another woman's child, but in the weeks she had been living in the same house she'd come to see Kurt as he was and not as he presented himself to most. She saw the young man who was not nearly as sure of himself as he pretended to be, who longed for love not only from another young man but from a mother. She shared late night meals of scrambled eggs and hot tea with him when neither of them could sleep because they were worried about the people they cared about most being affected by their own issues. They took comfort in each other when they finally voiced their worries and both felt steadier for it. And finally one night, only a few days before Kurt began to lose weight and coloring noticeably, she had said that she loved him just before they parted to go to sleep. Her heart had stuttered in her chest when Kurt had smiled at her with heart breaking sweetness and told her that he loved her too.

"Baby," She kissed his head when she came into the kitchen one night and he was making scrambled eggs, his tea, sweet, and her tea, milk and just a tiny bit of sugar, already on the counter next to his elbow, then took his hands in her own and kissed his forehead again, "What's going on, sweetheart? Are you okay?"

"Carole," Kurt laughed gently, sweetly, and kissed her cheek in return, "I'm fine. Everything's okay. I just need to get a little more rest. I'm doing a lot lately. I promise I'll look after myself better. Do you want cheese on your eggs tonight?"

There was nothing Carole could say after that no matter how much she wanted to. So, she left it alone. But, it didn't stop tearing her apart and beside how much seeing the boy she had come to love hurt her she was doubly worried because of how worried Burt was. The man she had loved more than anyone since her husband wasn't sleeping. He tossed and turned. Sometimes he had nightmares that she had to wake him from when he began moaning for his son. The bags under his eyes were getting darker everyday. Sometimes when he held Kurt to him before the boys took off for school or before they all went to bed she could see the anguish in his eyes over letting him go. Burt confessed to her one night as they laid quietly in the bed that what was happening to Kurt was how it had begun with Tanya before she had given in and gone to the doctor and no one in the hospital or any of the specialists they had taken her to had been able to do anything. She had simply wasted away before his eyes. His greatest fear was, and had always been, the same happening to Kurt.

"Hey, Kiddo," Burt finally broached the topic when they were underneath a car together and the streak of oil on Kurt's cheek highlighted just how pale he'd gotten in the past few weeks, "What's going on?"

"I don't know, Dad," Kurt said quietly as they looked at each other, eyes locked, faces placid, "I feel okay, though. Most of the time. I don't want to worry about it yet. I don't want to think about it yet."

"We have to worry about it now, kid. We have to think about it now. First thing Monday we're going to a doctor."

Kurt just nodded. Burt took his hand and pressed the neatly manicured fingers over his own heart. Neither of them would ever admit that they had tears in their eyes.

It happened the Saturday before Kurt's appointment. And this time he was certain she was real. The glee club was out to dinner just after their second consecutive sectionals first place win. She was seated at a table on the other side of the restaurant. Kurt wouldn't have even seen her if he hadn't had to go to the bathroom. She was alone, sipping red wine and reading a paperback novel. Her hair was up in a classy French twist. She was in a beautiful red dress that showed off her trim, compact form. He stopped in his tracks, causing Quinn and Mercedes to freeze and look at him worriedly. Quinn hadn't gone to the mall with them that Saturday, but Mercedes had told her all about it and his girls, all of them, were more worried than they could say about him, but none more so than the two in front of him.

"It's her," Kurt whispered, "Just behind you."

They turned to look at, making him momentarily lose sight of her. When they turned around and he could see the table again, she was gone and the table was clear.

"Kurt, sweetie, there's no one there." Quinn said quietly.

"I…" Kurt's vision went suddenly dark and the last thing he heard before everything went away was Mercedes and Quinn calling out his name. The last thing he felt was his head striking the edge of a table and then the floor.

When he came to it was to the annoying sound of his alarm clock. He was reaching out to shut it off when his arm was caught by something. Something that pinched and hurt. He opened his eyes to see an IV needle in the inside of his elbow and a small tube taped there. He turned his head and realized that the annoying beeping was actually the sound of a heart monitor. He was in a hospital. He hated hospitals. He had sworn them off after his mother died because the bad memories of them that were almost the only memories he had of his mother made his stomach hurt. He groaned and closed his eyes again.

"Kurt, baby," Carole's smooth, warm hand was suddenly wrapped around his, "Are you awake, sweetheart?"

"I'm awake, Carole," Kurt said, surprised at how rough and soft his voice was. He opened his eyes and turned toward her voice. She looked horrible, like she hadn't slept in days, "What happened?"

"You passed out at the restaurant after sectionals, sweetie. You hit your head."

He blinked a couple of times and looked up at the ceiling. He thought he remembered passing out. Because he had seen…No, he hadn't seen her. Quinn's voice telling him that there was no one there was definitely something he remembered. But, if he had just passed out why was he in the hospital? He swallowed down the tears and knew that what he had been dreading had finally happened.

"How long have I been out?" He asked finally, turning his face back to her.

"Three days."

"Three days…" He felt his throat start to close a little and the tears he'd been fighting back spilled over, "Carole, where is…" He didn't want her to feel as if he wasn't glad that she was there when he woke up, but he needed his dad and he needed him now, especially when he realized that there were tubes for oxygen in his nose and he still didn't want to admit to himself what was going on and his stomach was starting to hurt.

"Where's your dad? It's okay to ask, sweetie. He's talking with the doctors right now. They still don't know why you passed out or why you've been losing so much weight. They can do more tests now that you're awake." She brushed his hair back from his forehead, needing some contact with him, trying to bite back her own sobs.

"Carole, you know they never figured out what killed my mother?" Kurt asked after a time. Carole's hand tightened on his.

"I know, sweetie."

"Tell the doctors if they ask…I've been having these spells. I haven't even told Dad about them yet. I get dizzy or out of breath or my fingers go numb. But, they always go away after a minute or so. Once, when I got hit in football practice it was like the world just faded away. I could see Finn and Puck and Coach Tanaka above me, but I couldn't hear them or make myself respond. My mother…some of those things happened to her before she died. Carole, I don't want to have whatever she had when the doctors couldn't do anything for her. I don't want to die. I'm scared."

"I know, baby." She knew how much it cost him to admit how scared he was to her and she had never felt closer to him than when he tearfully asked her if she would lay with him for a while. She lay in the bed carefully before wrapping him in her arms so that he could lay his head on her chest. They cried together even as she whispered for him not to borrow trouble. It might be nothing. They didn't know for certain yet that he had the same thing as his mother. She whispered the things neither of them believed to him, as he began to fall asleep in her arms. Even as she held him as he slept she whispered that everything would be okay and she prayed that she was right. She couldn't bring herself to slip him out of her arms and leave the bed. She needed to hold him. And so she did.

"He woke up?" Burt asked quietly when he came back into the room and Carole fell in love with him all over again to see the absolute love and worry for his boy on his face.

"He's scared, Burt," She said after confirming his question with a nod, "I am, too. What did the doctor say?"

"All of the tests they've done so far are inconclusive. Kurt's body is just…shutting down. Like Tanya's did. They still have a lot more tests to run, but…Oh, God…Carole, the doctor's aren't hopeful. Carole, I can't lose him. I can't. I don't know what I'll do if…"

Carole closed her eyes against the pain the man she loved was feeling as her body shook with sobs that she kept in so as not to wake Kurt as she buried her face in the boy's soft hair. How was she supposed to help with this? She really had no idea. And they both loved Kurt so much, but Kurt was Burt's son. And to lose his son the same way he had lost his wife and at such a young age. She wasn't sure he would survive it. She knew that she would have a hard time finding the will to live if anything happened to Finn. She opened her eyes, took one of his hands in hers and tired to tell him that everything would be okay, but the words got caught in her throat. Suddenly the room was too small. She needed air and she needed to hold Finn. Burt seemed to understand. He pressed a hard kiss to her lips that was more about comfort and an expression of anger and fear than it was about passion or love. She returned the kiss with the same sentiments behind it before she climbed out of the bed carefully and watched quietly as Burt took her place, holding Kurt in his arms in the small hospital bed.

"Daddy…" Kurt murmured in his sleep and snuggled closer. Burt held him tighter and sobbed into his hair as Carole turned and walked slowly to the door. When she found Finn in the cafeteria, not eating the sandwich right in front of him, just staring straight ahead she moved to him slowly and took him in her arms before she said anything at all.

"It's not good, is it?" Finn asked in a monotone.

"No, sweetheart, it's not good."

"Is Kurt going to die, Mom?" Finn's voice broke around the question.

"Baby…I…" She held him close as he began to sob and took strength in being able to comfort him, "It's going to be okay, baby. It'll be okay." She wished like hell that she could believe the words she was saying.

Over the next two weeks Kurt was subjected to more tests than he had ever imagined. Some of them hurt so badly he just wanted to cry out that they should just let him die. But, he knew that that was just his dramatic nature talking and that it would frighten his father and Finn and Carole. One of them was always with him and they never complained when he held their hands as hard as he was able. He gave more blood than he thought he had in his body and he ate more horrible food than he thought was in the world. It got so bad that at one point he literally begged his father to go and get him something from Burger King just because it would taste good. The doctor walked in on them eating it one day after a particularly bad round of testing and they were all shocked when he told Kurt that he should be eating whatever he wanted to because they needed to try to get weight on him again. It was the only good thing about his stay in the hospital in Kurt's opinion. For the first time in his life he felt free to eat whatever he wanted.

His friends stopped by every single day. Most of the time they all came at once. Kurt was glad that his primary doctor was so interested in keeping his spirits up through everything. Because when he came in to see eleven teenagers who were not his patients and their coach performing a production number complete with costume and instrumental track blasting out of a CD player he just sat down on the edge of Kurt's bed and watched with him and his parents. When the number was over he applauded enthusiastically and asked if they would consider coming down to pediatrics to perform for the kids. They agreed enthusiastically and Kurt smiled permission when his father and Carole asked with their eyes if he would mind if they accompanied the group down to see the reactions of the children. He'd so rarely been alone since he'd begun his stay in the hospital (Burt and Carole were alternating days off, using their sick days and vacation, to be with him.) that it was kind of a relief to be alone even if for just a few minutes.

He saw her for the third time that day. And this time, he was certain that he saw her because it wasn't just out of the corner of his eye and when he closed his eyes, counted to ten, and opened them again she was still standing in the doorframe of his room. He knew that he definitely remembered her this way as she leaned against the door in loose jeans and a black tank top, her long hair pulled into a messy ponytail, not a single drop of makeup on her beautiful face, and paint splattering her clothes and her skin. Even as her eyes, those piercing eyes that he could see every time he looked in a mirror, gazed at him and that special smile that had only ever been for him curved her lips gently, he gazed at her and couldn't help the smile that spread across his own lips. She looked so good to him. Just seeing her already made him feel more calm, more steady, more…healthy. He sat up in the bed and reached out for her. Her smiled widened and she crossed the room in a few quick strides. He was surprised to realize just how small she was. He remembered her as being so much bigger. But, he was bigger now, he thought, almost as big as his dad…at least in height. He had seen their wedding picture and had known, intellectually, just how small she was, but it had never really hit him until today that his mother was no taller than Rachel. He wasn't surprised, when she sat in the chair next to his bed and took his hand, that when he swept his thumb over her cheek the wet blue paint spread across both of their skin. They giggled together softly before she set leaned forward and set her forehead to his. For a moment they simply breathed each other in.

"Prepare yourself, baby," She whispered after a moment. Her voice was the sweetest thing that he had heard in a very long time. He knew he had to have gotten his own voice from her because it almost sounded like she was singing when she spoke, "Soon…everything will be different."

"Different…" Kurt closed his eyes and breathed in the sweet scent of paint, rose and cherry blossoms, and cinnamon that was, had always been, unique to his mother, "Mom, what is…"

When he opened his eyes to look into hers and ask his question she was gone. But, he could still feel the heat of her skin in his forehead and on his hands. He looked at his thumb and could still see the blue paint on it. He wasn't imagining things! He knew he wasn't. She had been there both times before and she had been in his room with him just seconds before. Calling out for her, he pulled the covers off of his legs and tore the needle out of his arm without wincing even when the blood began to flow. He could hear the alarms in his room blaring, but couldn't think past finding his mother.

"Kurt, what do you think you're doing?" His primary nurse called out to him as she grabbed his arm. He tore his arm out of her hand and began to run, calling out for his mother. He hadn't gone far when the world around him began to spin out of control. He paused and put his hand out, trying to catch the wall. But, he never found the wall. Instead he simply fell to floor. He heard a sickening crack and felt pain shoot up his arm.

"Mommy…" He sobbed quietly into the floor, "Where did you go?"

"Easy, Hummel," Someone said quietly, comfortingly, into his ear as he was pulled into a strong, gentle embrace and cradled like a baby, "I've got you. Relax."

"Noah?" Kurt asked.

"Puck." The smile down at him was, for once, genuine. Kurt felt amazingly comforted as he tucked his head against Puck's neck, "The name's Puck, Hummel."

"Kurt," He corrected with a sigh and a small smile.

"Kurt," Puck agreed. Kurt felt the tensing of his jaw and knew that Puck was frowning, "God, you don't weigh anything at all anymore, do you?"

Kurt didn't bother to answer, knowing that the question was rhetorical. Instead he asked one of his own, "Where are the others?"

"They're eating ice cream in the cafeteria with the kids we sang for."

"Why aren't you there?"

"I don't like ice cream and I don't get along well with kids."

Kurt had been feeling much steadier as Puck carried him, but as he began to lay him in his bed the dizziness came back full force and he gripped harder to Puck's neck.

"Don't put me down!" He choked on a sob. He would be embarrassed later when he wasn't feeling like he was in the middle of a tornado.

"Okay. Okay, Kurt. I've got you." Puck began to hum a tune that Kurt felt more than heard. It pulled at him and he didn't understand why. He was certain that he'd never heard it before.

"We're going to have to check his wrist." His nurse's voice interrupted the song, but he was nearly asleep at that point and couldn't bother to rouse himself into full awareness again.

"Make sure he won't wake through the examination," Puck said, and his voice was much older, much more commanding, than Kurt had ever heard it. And much more protective, "I won't have him in pain. And send another nurse for his family. They're in the cafeteria." The voice softened, "Sleep now, Kurt. I have you."

When that voice commanded him he had to obey. He didn't even have enough time to wonder why Puck was saying what he was, why he sounded so different. He just slipped into sleep. As he did he thought he felt Puck kiss his forehead. When he woke he decided he'd been dreaming.

After two weeks of testing as he continued to lose strength and the length and severity of his attacks continued to worsen the doctor, who had been the driving factor in keeping them hopeful throughout the whole process sat down on the edge of Kurt's bed and put a hand on Finn's shoulder and Kurt's ankle as he watched Burt and Carole take both of Kurt's hands. He explained as gently and with as much sympathy as he could that they had done every test that they could and they still couldn't pin down what was wrong with him, why his body was shutting down. He told them that he had sent all of Kurt's scans to as many specialists as he could think of and none of them could give him even a hint or saw anything that he didn't. He showed scans from Tanya nearly nine years earlier and put Kurt's next to them and said that it was definitely the same thing, but he just couldn't explain it.

"And now, Kurt, Burt, Carole, and Finn, I'm sorry, but you all have a decision to make. Kurt, we can send you across the country to a specialist in rare diseases that I know, but your mom went to him, too and he's already told me that he'd be willing to try his hardest for you, too, but he's been working on your mom's case since she died and he still can't explain it or..." He took a deep breath when he finally ran out of air, but Kurt didn't let him continue.

"Dr. Reynolds, it's okay," Kurt reached out to pat the doctor's hand before he slipped his hand back into Burt's grip, "I've already made my decision."

His family looked at him with surprise on their faces. He smiled at them and it was so tired that they knew that none of them would argue with whatever he had decided.

"My dad and Carole…my…my mom," He smiled and squeezed her hand when Carole let out a little gasp and squeezed his hand a little harder, "They're supposed to be getting married at the end of the month. I want to be there. Do you think I'll make it that long?"

"Your prognosis, if your condition stays as stable as it has, is three to five months, Kurt. You should be fine."

"Good. I need to be there. I'm the wedding planner, after all." Carole pressed a kiss just at his hairline, "I just...I've decided that I don't want to be in the hospital any longer. My mother was in the hospital for so long and, if I remember correctly, she was miserable." He looked at Burt for confirmation. Burt swallowed hard and nodded, "I don't want to be miserable. I'll get oxygen and take whatever medications you think I need, but I'm going home. I want to be in a place I love surrounded by people I love when I…when it happens." He was suddenly shy as he looked up at the handsome young doctor who had tears in his eyes, "Does that…Is that okay?"

"It's fine, Kurt. It'll be fine."

So, they took him home. Kurt spent the next two weeks finishing off the wedding with all of his friends. Carole tried to insist that she didn't need the lavish wedding. She didn't want a big celebration when he was…She could never get the word out. It was something they simply did not say in their household. None of them wanted to think about it. But, when Kurt took her hand desperately and told her that he needed this, that he needed her wedding to keep his mind off of what was going to happen, she stopped trying to convince him that she didn't need it. He was making all of her dreams come true and he needed the wedding as much as she did. After that point they took nothing but joy in every little thing that they planned, every little detail that came together. Mercedes and Quinn practically moved in as they helped the two finish favors and programs and other little things that needed to be done.

On the day of the wedding Kurt was as healthy as could be expected. He stood by his father's side proudly with a chair and his oxygen next to him just in case, but he didn't need them. He smiled proudly when his father and his new mother took to the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife and swayed gently to their song, eyes closed, holding each other close. Kurt felt better that he was leaving his father in Carole's hands. She wouldn't let him follow Kurt in death. He wouldn't want to leave her. Or Finn. The past weeks had forged them into a true family unit. Finn was Burt's son now, too. It was a good thing. Kurt didn't want any of them to be alone. He even accepted Rachel into his house on a daily basis because she would be the one Finn would need most after all was said and done.

Two days after the wedding Kurt had a severe seizure. He fell out of his chair at the dinner table and when the tremors in his body stopped they realized he wasn't breathing. Carole frantically called an ambulance as Burt began to breathe air desperately into his son's small chest. After just a couple of breaths Kurt was breathing on his own again. He was conscious shortly after that, but very groggy. Dr. Reynolds met them at the emergency room and told them that Kurt was deteriorating rapidly now and that he didn't have much longer, that the seizures were probably going to happen more often. He made sure Carole and Finn were also comfortable with rescue breathing before sending the small family home again.

Kurt had every intention of not letting the room he and Finn shared become a sick room, but once he was home in his own bed he realized that he was never going to leave it again. He barely had the strength anymore to sit up without the help of many pillows behind his back. He was uncomfortable and restless all the time, but didn't have the energy to do anything about it but cry in frustration. Burt and Carole stayed with him all day, every day, playing games, watching movies, and watching him sleep when his exhausted body finally won out against his racing mind. Finn was home directly after school every day, most of the time bringing the entire glee club with him. They took over for Burt and Carole in the evenings and the girls were alternating nights spent with Kurt, simply holding onto him as they slept. When he couldn't sleep he was glad to be able to reach out and feel someone with him. When he could sleep he was glad to wake up next to someone he knew loved him. He was surprised when Brittany and Santana added themselves to the rotation. He liked the girls well enough, but they had never been particularly close at all. He got to know them, and his other girlfriends very, very well as they held each other through the long nights and spoke endlessly about whatever came to their minds. Even Rachel became someone he held close to his heart. He was surprised by it, but not upset at all. Finn had almost permanently moved to the couch until, after two weeks, he added himself to the rotation as well.

"You know you don't have to do this, Finn," Kurt said quietly the first night Finn slipped into his bed and tried to settle Kurt comfortably against his chest.

"I want to," Finn said determinedly, "You're my brother, Kurt. It makes you feel better, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Kurt admitted reluctantly.

"Then, I definitely want to." Kurt let himself feel comforted as Finn wrapped him in his arms and held him close. He had almost fallen asleep when Finn's chest began to shake with the effort he was expending not to cry aloud. Kurt felt the tears come into his own eyes as well, but they were teenaged boys. They just didn't talk about these things.

"Finn?" He asked after a time.

"Yeah, Kurt?" The voice that answered was broken and heavy with suppressed tears.

"I'm sorry we're not going to have more time to be brothers."

"Yeah, Kurt," Finn only partially managed to stifle his sob as he ran a hand over Kurt's hair, "Me, too."

"Don't take this the wrong way but…I love you, Finn."

"Love you, too, bro." They gave themselves and each other unspoken permission to cry it all out because they knew they wouldn't allow themselves to do so again. When Kurt woke up the next morning Finn was watching him sleep quietly, his eyes sad but dry. Kurt smiled at him and nodded. Finn just ruffled his hair.

Matt and Mike did not volunteer to put themselves in the nightly rotation, but Kurt would have found it weird if they had. He was much more comforted by their quiet, steady presences when everyone else was trying too hard to laugh and smile around him. Often Matt would sit himself on the edge of the bed and pull Kurt's cold feet out from under the covers, rubbing them in an attempt to get the failing circulation going again. He always looked at Kurt with a sad little half smile and almost never said anything at all even when he was leaving, but Kurt could see everything he was trying to say in his eyes and knew that they understood each other on a level none of the other glee kids would understand, except perhaps Mike. Mike was often the one to calm the others and get them to be quiet so that Kurt could relax a little and not try to keep up with so many conversations when all of the voices talking at once were just confusing him. And it was Mike who gave him rescue breathing when he had another seizure and Finn, Burt, and Carole were upstairs. No one else had known what to do, but Mike had silently gotten him off of the bed and onto the floor before tilting his head back and pushing life saving air into his lungs. At least, that was what Mercedes had told him after the fact. When they were all panicking Mike had simply gotten him breathing again and saved his life. She was amazed, as were the others. Kurt wasn't surprised in the least.

The one who surprised him was Puck. Kurt had very much appreciated what Puck had done for him in the hospital but, if he was being honest with himself, he'd thought it was a one off. He wasn't expecting Puck to visit him at home at all. But, just like Finn Puck was there as soon as school ended, whether or not the other glee kids were there. Most of the time he simply sat in the corner of the room, Kurt's vanity chair leaned precariously on two legs, his arms crossed. He laughed and conversed with the others if they were there, but whenever Kurt would look over at him he was looking back, an unfathomable expression on his face. In one of his more fanciful moments Kurt thought that the look was understanding, fear, and determination all mixed into one. One of his favorite things to do when he was having a hard time sleeping was imagine why that particular combination of emotions was on Puck's face. He came up with dozens of scenarios, each more ridiculous than the last, and they made him laugh. Often the scenarios helped him fall asleep. The night he'd created one where Puck loved him madly and knew the cure for his illness (Something magical, of course.) he woke to hear a tense, whispered conversation between his father and the boy he had been dreaming about.

"You know…I know who you are, kid. I've known for years." His father sounded resigned.

"Yes, I know, Burt Hummel. She's always said that you are very clever." Noah's voice was the same, deeper, more authoritative one he had used in the hospital.

"She also said that he was going to be able to live a full, happy, human life. But, all I see is my boy dying in that bed! What the hell is she going to do about it?"

"She loves him. She is trying to convince her lord husband of the need to bring him to her, to save him."

"She's not trying hard enough!" He jerked in surprise at his father's half-growl half-yell and couldn't hold in a whimper. In her sleep, Santana held him closer. Burt's voice lowered again, "You go to her now and you tell her that if she loves him at all she'll come for him. You tell her that he'll die without her. I don't care what you have to do and I don't care if that bastard tells you and her to just let it be. You both find a way."

"My kind don't take well to orders, Burt Hummel." It was hissed and Kurt wished he had the strength to roll over and tell them that he was awake, because he wasn't understanding what they were talking about at all and he was afraid that soon they would come to blows.

Burt growled from low in his throat in a manner that Kurt had only heard twice in his life. It scared him. His father was usually very even tempered, but when his temper was truly roused it could almost be described as murderous, "It's not an order, Puck. It's a threat. Because if my boy dies I will not rest until I've found a way to that fucking island with as much iron as I can carry. If he goes, he won't be going alone."

Kurt was surprised when, suddenly, Puck laughed, "You're very persuasive, Burt Hummel. She's said that about you, too. Very well. I'm on my way. Help him hold on until I can bring her back with me."

Puck must have left because thirty seconds later his father was sitting on the bed, stroking Kurt's hair gently before he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Kurt's temple. "It's all going to be okay now, kid. You just wait and see if it isn't. I love you, Kurt. So much."

"Mmm…Mr. Hummel?" Santana asked quietly, sleepily, as she came half awake to find Burt sitting on the bed. Kurt wanted to smile, hearing how young and sweet she sounded when she was still half asleep, "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Santana. You girls do a great job. He always sleeps better when one of you is here. Go back to sleep. You have school in the morning."

"M'kay." Kurt felt Santana tuck his head under her chin once more and allowed her steady breathing to lull him back into sleep as well.

That afternoon the glee club came by with Mr. Schue. None of them pretended to hide their heartbreak as they sang "Tears in Heaven" for him. They all surrounded him and held hands. Mr. Schue sat on the bed and supported Kurt against his strong chest as he himself took the solo. Afterward none of them could stop crying as they held each other and Kurt. He finally allowed himself to say his goodbyes to all of them. Santana and Brittany clung to each other as they made their way up the stairs after they had kissed him. Artie simply gave him a fist bump and a simple "Love you, man," before Finn and Burt carried him up the stairs. Tina kissed him and rubbed his nose gently with hers before walking slowly up the stairs after Artie. Kurt was surprised to find Matt crying as he was hugged to the strong young man's chest. He rubbed Matt's back soothingly for nearly ten minutes before the football player could work up the strength to go.

"Hey, Kurt?" Mike called softly, not able to force himself to get closer to the bed than he was, standing at the foot of the stairs even as Matt walked slowly up.

"Yes, Mike?"

"You're one of the biggest badasses I know. I've always thought so. Just…just wanted you to know that."

Kurt smiled, "Thanks, Mike."

Quinn and Mercedes didn't want to let him go, but he eventually whispered to them that they had to and they realized he was talking about more than just that moment on his bed. The three of them whispered their love before the girls had to leave the room so as not to show their tears to him. They wanted to be strong for him. They needed to be strong for him now. Kurt was surprised at how disappointed he was when he realized that Puck wasn't there. They'd never really been friends after all.

"Kurt, we're always going to miss you." Mr. Schue was the last to leave the room.

"I'll miss you guys, too," Kurt whispered. It had been a couple of days since he'd been able to breathe correctly and when he spoke it came out in stops and starts, "And I know the music won't be nearly as good up there. I'll wait for all of you. When you all get up there we'll have to show them how it's done."

"Can't wait, Kurt," Will leaned down to kiss his forehead, "Can't wait. You get some rest now."

Kurt nodded at him. Rest sounded so wonderful. He was so tired.

When he next opened his eyes his room was entirely too bright. Everything was washed out in brilliant white light. He nearly rolled his eyes. Well, if this wasn't a cliché he didn't know what was. He smiled when he could sit up and take the oxygen tubes off and the needles out of his arms. She was standing at the foot of his bed dressed in all black, her hair wild around her. She looked stunning. And she was smiling at him.

"Mom," he greeted her and her smiled widened. He crawled across the bed to her and allowed her to take him in her arms and hug him close, "Time to go?" He asked when he'd gotten his fill of her scent.

"Time to go home," She said quietly in his ear. He looked around his room once, regretted that he hadn't gotten to say goodbye to his dad and stepmom, then nodded at her.

"I'm ready."

Then, he knew no more.