Everything Changes

It was another tour, and a long one, and while Toki didn't mind not being at home with his own pillows, sometimes, just sometimes, he wanted something familiar. Which was why he padded down the hall to knock on Skwisgaar's door, "Skwisgaar? Is you asleeps?" He wasn't deterred when he got no answer, it just meant that the blonde was already asleep and wouldn't kick him out until morning.

Perhaps it was unfair that he knew Skwisgaar always slept with his door unlocked, but just at the moment he didn't care, smiling to himself as he slid the door open just far enough to slip through, snickering when he saw Skwisgaar sprawled out on the bed, still dressed, "You's must have bes tired." he said softly as he moved closer. Of course it was then that something clicked in his mind, even Skwisgaar wasn't usually that pale.
Toki swallowed hard as he reached out to brush Skwisgaar's hair away from his face, fingertips brushing over the other's lips, his skin was cold, though he was breathing at least, but too slowly, even Toki could tell that.

He nudged the blonde's shoulder, it was like trying to roll dead weight, "Skiwsgaar?" This wasn't good, his chest felt tight and the small part of his brain that was still rational knew that he was starting to panic, "Don't dies Skwisgaar, please don't dies."
"He won't. Not if you can follow directions." Toki's head snapped up, gasping in surprise at the pale, dark-haired woman perched in the chair on the other side of the bed. His brain clicked again and he all but threw himself over Skwisgaar to block him from the woman, "You can't haves him! He's isn't deads! You can't be takings him! I won't lets you!"

"TOKI WARTOOTH" She hated using The Voice, especially on people who were already freaked out, but sometimes it had to be done, "Calm. Down. I'm not going to take him away. That's the deal, you boys are too big to die accidentally, I don't need you jackoffs making my job any harder. you understand? I'm not here for him. But that doesn't mean he can't still die. You need to go find Charles and tell him I said Skwisgaar needs an ambulance. Can you do that?"

Toki's mouth had snapped shut when she'd said his name, eyes wide, still feeling like something was locking his chest tight when he tried to breathe. Death arched a brow, "Can you find Charlie or not?"
Toki nodded dumbly, swallowing hard and managing a shaky, "What's about Skwisgaar? He shouldn'ts be alone." She smiled, "I'll stay with him, he'll be alright for now. But you have to hurry."
Toki didn’t want to leave Skwisgaar, and especially not with her, but he knew this wasn’t like back at Mordhaus where they could just take the blonde downstairs to the doctor and he’d be fine, this time they’d have to take him to an actual hospital

It was easy enough to find Ofdensen, in his own corner of the suite’s lounge, enjoying a nightcap and squaring away some paperwork.
“Charlies,” Toki was probably the only one of them who could get away with calling him anything other than ‘Charles’ or ‘Mr. Ofdensen’ He blinked up from his paperwork, “Something wrong Toki? It’s late, you should get some rest”
Toki shook his head vehemently, “Is Skwisgaar.” Charles sighed, “What did he tell you now?” He said before registering the younger man’s honest panic, “What happened Toki?”

Toki shook his head again, “Is Skwisgaar, dat girl says he’s is goings to need an amburlances.”
Charles’ brow furrowed, already pulling out his phone, “What girl? Did Skwisgaar get a groupie into his room?”
Toki shook his head yet again, on the verge of tears, frustrated because he knew how she was, he just didn’t have a name for her or the words to describe her, “NO! She’s is not a groupies, she’s dat girl.” Realization finally dawned and Charles nodded, already dialing emergency services, “It’ll be alright Toki, put on some shoes and stay with Skwisgaar, I’ll take care of the rest.” He was already explaining the situation into the phone as Toki dashed off again.

He grabbed his shoes and his bear before running to Skwisgaar’s room, not about to leave him with that girl any longer than absolutely necessary. She was gone when he got there, having been replaced by Ofdensen, still on the phone, “Still breathing, barely, unresponsive, Toki, did Skwisgaar tell you anything about what he was doing?” Toki hesitated a moment, and then shook his head, dropping his shoes to step into them, holding his bear closer.

Charles sighed, he knew that look, “Did he say something and then tell you not to tell anyone?” Into the phone he said, “heartbeat’s slow, but it’s steady.” Toki hesitated again, holding his bear closer still, “He tells me to forgets we ever haves dis conservations.” Charles nodded, “And did you forget Toki?” Toki shook his head as Charles told the phone: “We’re in the suite on the 42nd floor, take the freight elevator next to the kitchen, you understand this has to be done quietly. Good.” He hung up then, turning back to the brunette, “What did you talk about?” This was a different question than he asked before, and sometimes with Toki that made all the difference, “Skwisgaar saids that maybes he’s was all out of his usual stuffs and was maybe havesing to find someones who could gets him some.”

Charles swore softly, “I’ve told him to come to me if he needs anything.” He sighed then, shaking his head and going to open the door for the paramedics, “It’s either an overdose or a bad hit.” He explained, “That’s all we know.” Toki grabbed a change of clothes for the blonde as Skwisgaar was loaded onto the gurney, “Charlies? Should I brings his guitar too?” Charles blinked at that, “You’re going to stay with him?”

Toki looked almost wounded, “Ja, he’s my bests friends, I can’ts let him go to the stupids hobsbittles all alones.” Charles blinked again, eyeing Toki for a moment, and at the lead paramedic’s; “We need to go, now.” He said, “Alright Toki, get his guitar, let’s go.”
Toki snapped up his companion’s guitar, following the gurney out into the elevator, holding the instrument just as closely as he was holding his bear at the moment. He just kept hoping that Skwisgaar would open his eyes and snicker and say that Toki was dildos for being worried, but it didn’t happen, Skwisgaar just lay there while they hooked him up to monitors inside the ambulance.

Charles, realizing that Toki was shaking, put an arm around his shoulders, “it’s going to be alright Toki. Skwisgaar’s going to be alright.” A pause and then, “In fact, I'm making it your job to stay with him until he wakes up, and when he does, you call me. Can you do that Toki?”
Toki nodded “Ja, dats I can do.” He wasn’t shaking anymore, he had a job to do now, a task, something to keep him focused, which Charles knew was all he needed. Toki blinked over at him a moment later, “He’s really goings to be alrights, ja? I means, is not likes at Mordhaus wheres we cans just takes him downstairs to gets fix. These times is… more different.”

Charles nodded, “Yes, yes it is, but he’ll still get fixed up just fine, these folks know what they’re doing, right?” Since Skwisgaar was as stable as they could keep him, Charles got a unanimous chorus of ‘yes’ and ‘that’s right’ and even a ‘yessir’
Resoundingly reassured, Toki nodded and fell silent, still holding his armload of possessions close.

The rest of the trip was a quiet one, though Toki almost had a conniption when he had to wait outside the ICU until they got Skwisgaar resettled.
Charles glowered at his phone when it went off, “Press. Dammit. Toki, stay with him like I told you.” Toki nodded, “Ja, and calls you whens he is awake up, I knows.” Charles nodded again, “Good, I’ll bring you a Milky Way from the vending machine when I come back.” Toki smiled, just slightly, “Thanks Charlies. You goes talks to the newsladies and reportsers, I’ll waits with Skwisgaar.”

Once in Skwisgaar’s room, Toki dragged the chair as close to the bed as he could, leaning the blonde’s guitar within easy reach before tucking his bear into the crook of Skwisgaar’s arm, nodding once and folding himself into the chair, taking Skwisgaar’s hand.
The blonde had been hooked up to a respirator and the regular sound of it was enough to lull Toki into a half-doze, which was why, a couple hours later, it took him a moment to realize that Skwisgaar’s fingers were twitching against his own.

He blinked, then rubbed his eyes with the other hand, chewing his lip as he lifted Skwisgaar’s hair away from his neck, “Is okay Skwisgaar.” He said, “Is goings to be alright.” The blonde’s fingers continued to twitch, breathing starting to become irregular. Toki’s brow creased, but he gently tugged his bear away from Skwisgaar’s grasp, placing the other man’s guitar there instead, setting Skwisgaar’s hands gently in place, smiling as he started to pick out a song, breathing leveling out once more.

A nurse, alerted by the machine, slipped through the door, “Everything alright in here?” Her accent, as well as her hair, gave her away as a recovering Texan. Toki nodded, “Ja, he’s was just needs his guitar.”
She blinked at that, “Is he… playing? In his sleep?” Toki nodded again, smiling slightly and holding his bear close, “He’s is. He’s play ‘fans eated by yardwoolves’ is good song.”
She nodded, “Sounds like it. Now here’s the deal Mr. Wartooth, I’ve got some good news and I’ve got some bad news, which do you want to hear first?”

Toki’s heart –previously buoyed by the fact that Skwisgaar seemed to be sleeping normally- sank like a rock, “Bads news I guess.”
The nurse smiled, nodding once, “Bad news is that visiting hours are over. Good news is that our resident MD who’s the shift boss tonight, is a fan and says to keep you comfortable, so, can I get you a juice or anything?”
He relaxed again with a sigh, “Does you gots strawsberry kiwis juice here?”
The nurse smiled at that, giving him a wink, “I think I can find some. You sit tight and keep your friend company.”

By the time she returned, some fifteen minutes later, Skwisgaar had slipped off into something resembling actual sleep, even his heartbeat was getting stronger.
“Well would you look at that.” She said, handing Toki a bottle of juice and a crazy straw, “You’re doing him good just by being here.”
Toki accepted the juice, and the straw, happily, “Is bescause he’s is my bests friend.” He shrugged then, slurping at the juice, “And we says ‘I hates you’ but we’s would bes lost if we’s weren’t having each others.”

She smiled at that, “Well you make sure and tell him that when he wakes up.” She pointed out the call button then, “Now if something happens and nobody comes in, or if you need anything, you just push that button and someone’ll be right in.”
Toki smiled up at her, “Thank yous nurselady.”
She laughed, “You’re welcome, and the name’s Charity.”
“Oh.” He said, and then, “Ouch.”
She laughed again, “Oh that’s nothing, my sister Chastity is a showgirl in Vegas, and my other sister Liberty is doing time.”
Toki blinked, “Wow. Yours parents sucks at namings kids.” She laughed and Skwisgaar stirred. She smiled then, giving Toki a wink, “Think that’s my cue to go.” And she slipped away as quietly as she’d arrived.

Skwisgaar blinked awake slowly while Toki waited patiently. Finally the blonde spoke, voice a dry rasp, “Tokis? Why’s the dudes makes my room looks like a hospizzles?”
Toki sighed, “Because is is a hapsbittles Skwisgaar. Yous was a dumbass and tooks bad drugs.” He shook his head then, he couldn’t stay mad at the man, “I’s was scared.” He confided, taking Skwisgaar’s hand again. Of course the blonde scoffed, softly, but didn’t pull his hand away just yet, “Whys? I overdoses like, alls of the time.”

“Ja.” Toki said, frustrated that Skwisgaar didn’t understand, “You overdoses at home wheres we can fix it. Is different this times! You coulds have die!”
Skwisgaar rolled his eyes, “Then yous could have being the world’s fastest guitars player ever.”
Toki shook his head, fighting back tears at that point, “I don’t wants to be the fastest guitars player evers if is mean I can’t has my bests friend anymores.” He shook his head again, “I don’t cares if you calls me a fags or what-the-fucks-ever, I loves you Skwisgaar.”

The blonde rolled his eyes once more, but didn’t say anything, after all Toki had said that he didn’t care, so there was no real point.
Toki shook his head with a sigh, “I’s should go calls Charlies, I’s asposeds to calls him when you’s is awake.”
He slipped away to do so, relieved when the man answered after the first ring.
It wasn’t even ten minutes before Charles arrived back at the ICU with a Milky Way, as promised, for Toki.
The guitarist sat back, nibbling quietly at the candy bar, just watching the bustle of getting Skwisgaar cleared for release.

A good fifteen minutes later, while a wheelchair was being procured for Skwisgaar and another strawberry-kiwi juice for Toki, Charles noticed how subdued the latter was, and that there was still more than half a candy bar melting in his fingers, “Are you… alright Toki?”
“Yeah.” The Norwegian said after a moment, “I guess I’s just a real tired guy.” Charles nodded, “Well, it has been quite a long night for both of you, I’ll make sure Nathan knows you’re both taking a personal day tomorrow, and that the show can wait until the day after.”
Toki nodded at that, “Thanks you Charlies.”
Skwisgaar just sat sullenly quiet while the wheelchair was being fetched, and Toki fell asleep in the cab on the way back to the hotel. Charles carried him to the elevator and was going to take him to his room when Skwisgaar stopped him, “He’s can stay withs me. I doesn’t minds I guess.”

Ofdensen arched a brow, curious how much the blonde really knew, but he nodded, depositing the Norwegian onto the Swede’s hotel bed, where Toki curled up with a half-waking sigh, kicking off his boots with an easy, practiced, and almost totally absent-minded movement that made Skwisgaar smile a little. Some things never changed.
“He saved your life you know.” Charles said, studying the blonde’s face, gauging his reaction, “If he hadn’t found you when he did, it would’ve been to late, and the doctor said that you’re lucky to be alive.” A nod then, “Good night Skwisgaar.”

Late the next afternoon, Toki woke to find himself being studied by a pair of startlingly blue eyes. Once Skwisgaar knew that Toki was awake he said, “Ofdensens tell me that happen last night.”
Toki blinked, “And?”
“He says you saves my life.”
Toki shook his head, stretching, “I just does what the girl says to.”
Skwisgaar blanched slightly, which was a little startling, given as how pale he still was. He tried to brush it off however, with a slightly uneasy, “What girl?”

Toki glared at the other man, sliding off the bed, “If you doesn’ts want to talks about it, that’s fine, but don’t pretends you is doesn’t know whats I am mean.”
Skwisgaar sighed, shaking his head, he hadn’t slept well, he never did after an overdose or a bad trip, “Ja Tokis, I knows whos you saw. She’s is comes to our shows somestime, but she’s is not a groupies.”
Toki nodded, returning with a hairbrush, “I knows who she is, I just doesn’t has the word for her.” Then, he added, almost without pausing, “Turns around, I brush your hairs.” It was something he knew Skwisgaar liked, but would never admit to, or ask for.

Skwisgaar did turn around, sitting on the edge of the bed, letting Toki settle in behind him. He was fine with the silence for a while, then he asked: “Did you means what you say at the hospizzles?” Toki blinked, brow creasing slightly, though he continued tending to the blonde’s hair, “I says a lot of thing, what’s do you mean?”

Skwisgaar sighed then, “Whens you says you didn’ts wants to be the fastests guitar player in the worlds if is was meansing you didn’ts have me for a friends anymores.”
Toki shrugged, still working the tangles out of the ends of the other’s hair, “Ja, why wouldn’ts I mean it?”
The blonde shrugged, “I guess I don’ts know, but I also don’ts know why you would be sayings you loves me.”
Toki paused in his work, staring at the back of Skwisgaar’s head as if he thought he could see what was going through the other’s mind if he just stared hard enough. Finally he started brushing again and said, as nonchalant as he could, “Well, whats is you think I mean?”

Skwisgaar sighed heavily, it was how he could roll his eyes and have Toki know he was doing it, “I think you is means to says that you hates on me, sames as we always does.”
“Well,” Toki said with a shrug, finally able to sweep the brush through the length of the other’s hair, “You’s is think wrong.”
Skwisgaar twisted around then, studying Toki’s face intently, “…You’s actuallies mean that.”
This just puzzled Toki further, and he said, “What makes you thinks I was a liars?” Skwisgaar shook his head, “You likes girls though Tokis. You aren’ts gay.”
Toki shrugged again, “I likes girls and I likes you. I loves you Skwisgaar.” Just in case the blonde needed the reminder.

Apparently he hadn’t, because he snatched the brush from Toki’s fingers, gone livid, “Gets out. I hates you, gets aways from me!”
Toki, already a little flighty, panicked at the sudden, unexpected change, and in scrambling across the blonde to escape, got a brush to the back of the head and a string of curses in Swedish for his trouble.
Besides hurling insults, Skwisgaar was also throwing anything that wasn’t bolted down, as Toki soon discovered when he found himself showered with broken glass and cold water as the glass that the blonde had just thrown shattered against the wall over his head.

He all but threw himself out into the hall, yanking the door shut behind him, scrabbling away as something heavy hit the other side.
He ran to his room to get his bear, only to realize that he’d left it in Skwisgaar’s room.
He almost collided with Charles in the hall, “Toki? Do you know what Skwisgaar’s so upset about?” Then, realizing that Toki was wet, sprinkled with broken glass and looking shell-shocked, he shook his head, leading the brunette off to the suite’s main room, “What happened in there Toki?”

Toki shook his head, dislodging glass fragments that pattered to the carpet, “Skwisgaar asks me to says what I means when I says I loves him, and I says that’s is what I means, and…” he shook his head again, “And he goes crazies, yelling and throws thing, and I left Deddy in there!”
Charles sighed, sliding his glasses up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “I’ll go talk to Skwisgaar, you go take a shower, just be careful of the glass, alright?”
Toki nodded, still looking rattled, and Charles gave him a nudge towards his room, “Go on.”

Toki was surprised when he finally emerged from the shower, to find his bear and a glass of chocolate milk waiting for him.
More surprising was Charles, looking more than a little out of place, and just slightly uncomfortable about it, “I, uh, spoke with Skwisgaar,” He said, “He’s sorry for scaring you, but he also said he doesn’t want to talk to you again.” At Toki’s distraught look he added, “Drink your milk. He’s sleeping now, he’ll probably feel differently when he wakes up.”

He waited for Toki to settle and have some milk before he continued, “Even so, I don’t think you should talk about the fight, or what caused it, alright? Can you do that?” Toki’s brow furrowed once more, “Ja, I’s guess so.” He sighed then, “Is Skwisgaar really hates on me now?” Charles pinched the bridge of his nose again, “That’s… well, it’s difficult to answer Toki, I don’t know, but it would be best, as I said, if you didn’t mention the fight, or the reason for it. Finish your milk.”

Toki sighed heavily, but did finish off the glass of milk, stifling a yawn once he’d done so, “I’s real tireds again Charlies. I’s going to has a naps now, okays?” Ofdensen nodded, “”That’s a good idea Toki, a really good idea.”
And just like that, Toki was out cold. Charles sighed, he hated having to do this sort of thing to his boys, but in this case especially it had to be done. He took the empty glass from Toki’s fingers, he’d already swept Skwisgaar’s mind clear of the incident, now all he had to do was re-focus Toki’s obsession.

He rested his fingertips against the sleeping Norwegian’s brow. He didn’t want to throw him unwittingly between the two of them, really, but if it was them or Murderface, since he himself was the least viable option, it had to be them.
Mostly it was a matter of splitting Toki’s obsession, he figured that Nathan would become just as protective, and even possessive, of Toki as he was of Pickles all on his own.
Of the two of them, it was the drummer who might need a little help adjusting, but he’d deal with that when, and if, it were necessary.
Finally he sighed, shaking his head and brushing Toki’s hair away from his brow, “Sleep well Toki. Things’ll be better when you wake up.” He tucked Deddy under the brunette’s arm, shutting the door quietly behind him as he left.