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Beginning With Goodbye
folder
Supernatural › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
3
Views:
3,222
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Supernatural › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
3
Views:
3,222
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Supernatural, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Beginning With Goodbye
Disclaimer: I own nothing Supernatural and am making no money from writing this.
Pairings: Sam/Dean
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to and including Provenance
Notes: This is for my dear sweet friend, JF, who loves me even if I write crap.
Dean stopped off in one of many small towns they had post office boxes located in. Sam hadn't spoken a whole lot since they'd left Sarah.
Pushing them together had been one of the best things Dean could have done he figured. One more way of putting his brother first. At least now when Sam left him after they found the demon, he'd know his little brother had someone to love and who would wait for him.
Dean was aware of how things would end for him. One of three ways. Either he'd watch Sam walk away and stay with his father to continue to fight the things that went bump in the night or he'd die during the fight protecting his family or he would lose his father in the fight and he'd go find Cassie and try to start a life with her. He smiled as he thought more about the options.
"Dean? You alright?"
Dean nodded. "Yeah, just thinking about something...Hey, why don't you scrape us up some food and I'll go check the mail."
"Sounds good." Sam got out of the car and headed to one of the main street diners.
Dean locked up the car and walked toward the large brick building on the corner. It was old and looked out of place with the cars idling by. Dean could picture the days when horse drawn buggies were the only way to get in and out of town.
A woman walked by holding a toddler's hand and laughed when the child ran into another woman's arms. "Aunt Felicia!" Hugs were exchanged and Dean wondered what family life would be like. His death at the hands of the demon seemed to be the most obvious thing to happen to him, but he knew, thanks to Sarah, that Sam would be alright. And his father liked to do things alone anyway. If he died, Sam and John would be forced to lean on each other to get through it.
Dean laughed to himself and thought about Sam and Sarah's kids one day. They'd be beautiful and he sorely wanted to be around to hear someone call John 'grandpa'.
But things could go differently. Not for Sam, but for himself and for his father. Sam would stay with Sarah no matter what and be happy and raise a family. But Dean and John wouldn't know them. They'd stay far away to keep the evil away from them.
He contemplated life with his father. It had been harsh. His father loved him, but he didn't show it. Dean had often wanted to hide and cry himself out so many times after Sam had left for college. He hadn't realized how dismal life would have been without Sam until his little brother was gone.
Criticisms were the worst. His father was never satisfied. Even when he did everything right it was just expected of him and never commended. There were times Dean was scared. The things they fought brought out nightmares of the worst kind, some of them when a man wasn't even sleeping. He'd tried to talk to his father once, but was told in no uncertain terms that fear was a weakness they couldn't afford.
The idea of spending the rest of his life hunting with his father made his blood run cold. He didn't know how he would survive, but he also knew he'd never leave his father alone like he had been.
Of course there was the third option. The one he couldn't face, but that was also likely. His father could die. Sam would have to find Sarah. Dean would make him. And he'd find Cassie and they would mourn their father. Then they'd be at each others' weddings and celebrate the birth of each child and of course they'd never decorate a nursery until the baby's first birthday...with the family legacy and all. Infants would sleep between their mother and their father until then.
Dean grinned, trying to think of how messed up future generations would be whether they caught the demon or not. They were a step ahead now. At least they'd know monsters did exist.
He stepped into the large structure and smiled. Something about the smell of the place made him feel like he was just an everyday guy picking up his mail. He felt comfortable surrounded by people who had normal lives and normal troubles. Mowing the lawn took precedence over burning a vampire hive to the ground in this town.
He pulled out his key after finding the box. He rolled his eyes at his father's sense of humor. Box 666 seemed a bit morbid to him, but he guessed his dad just didn't want to try to remember a lot of numbers.
He unlocked the small silver door and pulled out five different letters. One was a postcard from their father for Sam. The picture of a large alien statue near Roswell on the front made Dean snicker. The words on the back made him wish it had been a sealed letter so he hadn't been able to read it.
I know about your loss. Remember you're special. Everything is pointless without you.
Love,
Dad
Dean swallowed the lump in his throat. Love... The word jumped out at him as if tormenting him. He'd stayed with his father. He'd taken care of him and done everything, but apparently everything was 'pointless' even with him there. He shook his head and moved to the next letter.
Two of them were credit card applications. He always enjoyed those.
The fourth was addressed to the 'Winchesters' and it was simply a note from one of the people they knew which included a newspaper article about one of the cases they'd taken and solved. Nothing big, but a nice way to be acknowledged even if it was in secret.
The last one made Dean's heart skip. It was addressed to him. Dean looked around as if someone was playing a joke on him. He never got mail. Not even from Sam when he was in college. He'd written. He'd written so many times until the day his father had told him to face the fact Sam didn't want them anymore. He had written one last letter after that. He told Sam he hated him for leaving and he didn't want him either. He told him he didn't need him.
Then he'd burned it.
He opened the letter and smiled. It was from Cassie. He knew she'd think about things and contact him. He knew that even if it was his fate for everyone to leave him that there would be one person out there who wouldn't.
He began to read.
Dean,
I'm not sure when you'll get this. I'm hoping it will be soon. I wanted to thank you again for helping me and the people of this community uncover such a terrible past and to put it right. You and Sam are very important to the wellbeing of so many and I hope you continue to fight for justice and for the people who trust you.
When you left I told you it was forever. I know I told you that before and then called you back to me. It wasn't fair to you. I thought the same thing this time. Maybe I wasn't being fair. What would happen the next time I needed you? Would we fall in love again? Would we just fall into bed?
You don't need that hanging in the back of your mind and I refuse to be the type of person that would allow it.
I've been seeing someone. He's very sweet and he cares about me. His name is Gavin and I've told him about you. Not everything, but just that you're an ex who means a great deal to me. He was so understanding and he listened to me. He loves me, Dean. And I love him.
Dean stopped and took a deep breath. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. This isn't how it was supposed to happen. He looked back at the letter.
I'm writing this because he's asked me to marry him. I know you think it was fast, but the truth is I've known him for years. We just never looked at each other that way. I guess I should be honest and say I never looked at him that way. He had just been waiting and hoping to be there when I realized what was right in front of me.
You're a good man, Dean, but you can't settle down. I'd never be happy with you. Look at what happened to your mother. Look at what happened to Sam's girlfriend. I don't want to be killed by some freak who just wants to hurt you. I'm sorry. You're special, but not that special. I won't die for you. And I'd never have children with you without knowing they'd be safe from this thing and you can't guarantee that.
I hope you'll still be there if I need you, but I don't want you in my life anymore in any capacity other than the paranormal. Please know this is best for both of us.
Cassie
Dean licked his lips and folded the letter up, putting it back in the envelope. He shoved it into his pocket along with the credit card apps and the article and then looked at the postcard again, using his thumb to cover up Sam's name. He allowed himself a moment to think the message was for him and smiled sadly. At least he had his imagination.
TBC....
Pairings: Sam/Dean
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to and including Provenance
Notes: This is for my dear sweet friend, JF, who loves me even if I write crap.
Dean stopped off in one of many small towns they had post office boxes located in. Sam hadn't spoken a whole lot since they'd left Sarah.
Pushing them together had been one of the best things Dean could have done he figured. One more way of putting his brother first. At least now when Sam left him after they found the demon, he'd know his little brother had someone to love and who would wait for him.
Dean was aware of how things would end for him. One of three ways. Either he'd watch Sam walk away and stay with his father to continue to fight the things that went bump in the night or he'd die during the fight protecting his family or he would lose his father in the fight and he'd go find Cassie and try to start a life with her. He smiled as he thought more about the options.
"Dean? You alright?"
Dean nodded. "Yeah, just thinking about something...Hey, why don't you scrape us up some food and I'll go check the mail."
"Sounds good." Sam got out of the car and headed to one of the main street diners.
Dean locked up the car and walked toward the large brick building on the corner. It was old and looked out of place with the cars idling by. Dean could picture the days when horse drawn buggies were the only way to get in and out of town.
A woman walked by holding a toddler's hand and laughed when the child ran into another woman's arms. "Aunt Felicia!" Hugs were exchanged and Dean wondered what family life would be like. His death at the hands of the demon seemed to be the most obvious thing to happen to him, but he knew, thanks to Sarah, that Sam would be alright. And his father liked to do things alone anyway. If he died, Sam and John would be forced to lean on each other to get through it.
Dean laughed to himself and thought about Sam and Sarah's kids one day. They'd be beautiful and he sorely wanted to be around to hear someone call John 'grandpa'.
But things could go differently. Not for Sam, but for himself and for his father. Sam would stay with Sarah no matter what and be happy and raise a family. But Dean and John wouldn't know them. They'd stay far away to keep the evil away from them.
He contemplated life with his father. It had been harsh. His father loved him, but he didn't show it. Dean had often wanted to hide and cry himself out so many times after Sam had left for college. He hadn't realized how dismal life would have been without Sam until his little brother was gone.
Criticisms were the worst. His father was never satisfied. Even when he did everything right it was just expected of him and never commended. There were times Dean was scared. The things they fought brought out nightmares of the worst kind, some of them when a man wasn't even sleeping. He'd tried to talk to his father once, but was told in no uncertain terms that fear was a weakness they couldn't afford.
The idea of spending the rest of his life hunting with his father made his blood run cold. He didn't know how he would survive, but he also knew he'd never leave his father alone like he had been.
Of course there was the third option. The one he couldn't face, but that was also likely. His father could die. Sam would have to find Sarah. Dean would make him. And he'd find Cassie and they would mourn their father. Then they'd be at each others' weddings and celebrate the birth of each child and of course they'd never decorate a nursery until the baby's first birthday...with the family legacy and all. Infants would sleep between their mother and their father until then.
Dean grinned, trying to think of how messed up future generations would be whether they caught the demon or not. They were a step ahead now. At least they'd know monsters did exist.
He stepped into the large structure and smiled. Something about the smell of the place made him feel like he was just an everyday guy picking up his mail. He felt comfortable surrounded by people who had normal lives and normal troubles. Mowing the lawn took precedence over burning a vampire hive to the ground in this town.
He pulled out his key after finding the box. He rolled his eyes at his father's sense of humor. Box 666 seemed a bit morbid to him, but he guessed his dad just didn't want to try to remember a lot of numbers.
He unlocked the small silver door and pulled out five different letters. One was a postcard from their father for Sam. The picture of a large alien statue near Roswell on the front made Dean snicker. The words on the back made him wish it had been a sealed letter so he hadn't been able to read it.
I know about your loss. Remember you're special. Everything is pointless without you.
Love,
Dad
Dean swallowed the lump in his throat. Love... The word jumped out at him as if tormenting him. He'd stayed with his father. He'd taken care of him and done everything, but apparently everything was 'pointless' even with him there. He shook his head and moved to the next letter.
Two of them were credit card applications. He always enjoyed those.
The fourth was addressed to the 'Winchesters' and it was simply a note from one of the people they knew which included a newspaper article about one of the cases they'd taken and solved. Nothing big, but a nice way to be acknowledged even if it was in secret.
The last one made Dean's heart skip. It was addressed to him. Dean looked around as if someone was playing a joke on him. He never got mail. Not even from Sam when he was in college. He'd written. He'd written so many times until the day his father had told him to face the fact Sam didn't want them anymore. He had written one last letter after that. He told Sam he hated him for leaving and he didn't want him either. He told him he didn't need him.
Then he'd burned it.
He opened the letter and smiled. It was from Cassie. He knew she'd think about things and contact him. He knew that even if it was his fate for everyone to leave him that there would be one person out there who wouldn't.
He began to read.
Dean,
I'm not sure when you'll get this. I'm hoping it will be soon. I wanted to thank you again for helping me and the people of this community uncover such a terrible past and to put it right. You and Sam are very important to the wellbeing of so many and I hope you continue to fight for justice and for the people who trust you.
When you left I told you it was forever. I know I told you that before and then called you back to me. It wasn't fair to you. I thought the same thing this time. Maybe I wasn't being fair. What would happen the next time I needed you? Would we fall in love again? Would we just fall into bed?
You don't need that hanging in the back of your mind and I refuse to be the type of person that would allow it.
I've been seeing someone. He's very sweet and he cares about me. His name is Gavin and I've told him about you. Not everything, but just that you're an ex who means a great deal to me. He was so understanding and he listened to me. He loves me, Dean. And I love him.
Dean stopped and took a deep breath. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. This isn't how it was supposed to happen. He looked back at the letter.
I'm writing this because he's asked me to marry him. I know you think it was fast, but the truth is I've known him for years. We just never looked at each other that way. I guess I should be honest and say I never looked at him that way. He had just been waiting and hoping to be there when I realized what was right in front of me.
You're a good man, Dean, but you can't settle down. I'd never be happy with you. Look at what happened to your mother. Look at what happened to Sam's girlfriend. I don't want to be killed by some freak who just wants to hurt you. I'm sorry. You're special, but not that special. I won't die for you. And I'd never have children with you without knowing they'd be safe from this thing and you can't guarantee that.
I hope you'll still be there if I need you, but I don't want you in my life anymore in any capacity other than the paranormal. Please know this is best for both of us.
Cassie
Dean licked his lips and folded the letter up, putting it back in the envelope. He shoved it into his pocket along with the credit card apps and the article and then looked at the postcard again, using his thumb to cover up Sam's name. He allowed himself a moment to think the message was for him and smiled sadly. At least he had his imagination.
TBC....