Infinity

TITLE: Infinity (1/?)

AUTHOR: Master F&M

FANDOM: Law and Order: SVU

RATING: Everything from PG to R—just like life.

SUMMARY: A Fin fic--- to give him a life the show refuses to give him

DISCLAIMER: L&O: SVU and all its characters belong to Dick Wolf, NBC, and
whomever

                          else puts the show out for our enjoyment. I just get to play with them.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sam is a character of my own creation. She does not exist on the
show.

FEEDBACK: Please give some. If no one likes what or how I’m writing, then I should
stop

                      posting. But if you do like . . . then let me know so I will keep going.

                      

---

CHAPTER ONE

          Detective John Munch looked up from his desk to find his partner, Detective
Odafin “Fin” Tutuola, lost in thought. He noted the wistful expression that seemed to be
a permanent feature on Fin’s face these days, and wondered- not for the first time- what
was going on with him. A moody Fin he could deal with. Heck, a downright sullen Fin
would even be considered normal for his partner. But a sad Fin? He didn’t usually wear
his emotions so close to the surface. Not in the five years he’d been John’s partner
anyway. There was something positively unsettling about witnessing this apparent chink
in Fin’s emotional armor.

            “Hey, Tutuola! You got any new ideas on this case, or are we going to be here
again tonight going over this mountainous pile of paperwork?”

 

“What?”

            Jarred out of his reverie by Munch’s question, it took Fin a few seconds to
remember where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. Damn! he thought to
himself, I’ve gotta get a handle on this! I can’t afford to screw up at work. It’s all I
have.

            “What’s going on with you, Fin?” Munch asked the question fully expecting Fin
to pretend he didn’t know what John meant. He wasn’t disappointed.

            “What do you mean?”

            “What do I mean? Are you kidding me? For the past couple of days you’ve
moped around this station like you’ve lost your best friend, which I might add, comes as
a considerable surprise to most of us since none of us even knew you had one.”

              Munch knew his partner well enough to know that he would take the ribbing in
stride, but was also hoping that bringing Fin’s strange mood out into the open would
encourage Fin to talk about the reasons behind it. He waited for a response, but all he
got was a small sigh and a shrug of the shoulders. Whatever was eating away at Tutuola
had to be bad, Munch thought. Fin had never turned down an opportunity to participate
in a verbal sparring match.

            “You know I’m here if you want to talk, right? Getting it off your chest might
help with whatever it is. And goodness knows you’ve lent your ear many an evening to
my musings on just what the hell happened to be wrong in my life at the time.”

            Fin briefly studied his partner’s face and saw true concern for himself there. For a
fleeting moment he considered telling John the truth---that he was lonely. Miserably and
terribly lonely. That his greatest fear was that he would remain that way for the rest of
his life. No one to go home to at the end of the day. No one to share his thoughts with
or to laugh with. No one to share his bed, or hold him after one of his nightmares. No
one to give him the family of his own that he so desperately wanted. No one. Ever. This
one singular thought had begun to gnaw away at him and the wall he put up when he was
on the job. It consumed his nights, and lately had begun intruding upon his thoughts
while he was at work. Whenever Olivia told some story about her boyfriend, or they had
a laugh over something cute one of Elliot’s kids had said or done, it came to him again.
I’m alone. Even Munch had four exes that he sometimes could look back on fondly.
But not him. He had no one. Probably never would . . . And knowing that was starting
to kill him. But what could he say? I’m lonely, John. I wish I had a girl? Yeah, right.
It was bad enough being miserable. He didn’t want to be pathetic, too.

 

             Fin brought his mind back to the squad room to find his partner staring at him.
He quickly stood up and mumbled something about him being okay and that he was
going to check the files for similar cases, then hurried off. But not soon enough.

            John had seen the look in Fin’s eyes and had recognized it right away: the sad,
haunted look of those who are resigned to being alone. Not that Fin had to be. There
was always more than his share of women who were willing to throw themselves at his
partner. But Fin apparently was beyond wanting a girl with whom he could just hop in
the sack. He was ready to settle down. Have a Mrs. Tutuola and a whole mess of little
Tutuolas running around. Lord knows he already practically adopted every stray kid
that crossed their path. Problem was, the type of woman that Fin was interested in--smart, funny, educated, with a wicked sense of style–wasn’t usually interested in being
the wife of an underpaid detective who worked God-awful hours with hardly any
appreciation. Sure, they hung around at first for the thrill of dating a cop and the
bragging rights ( My boyfriend? He’s NYPD). Thinking he could get them out of paying
tickets was a draw at first too (he never did though). But sooner or later it always came
back to the same old issues: “You never spend time with me” . . . ”What’s the good of
dating a cop, if I never get to see you?”... “Why can’t you just leave when your shift is
over?”....”Let someone else deal with it. It’s not your problem.” Inevitably, frustrated
and fed up, they left. After his breakup with Danni two years ago, Fin stopped dating
altogether. He’d given up.

            Poor bastard, John thought to himself. Fin was a great guy. He might be tough
as nails on the outside, but once you got to know him—correction: once he let you get to
know him— you’d find that underneath the armor was a very tender soul with a heart of
gold. A heart that had never quite gotten over losing his son. He deserved to be happy.
Not that being happy was for everyone, he mulled. But he’d had his chance. Heck, he’d
had four of them. It was only fair that Fin got to have his chance at least once.

 

            Munch sighed and looked around the room, looking at nothing in particular.
Seemed like everyone he cared about was having a difficult time of it lately. It wasn’t too
long ago that he’d seen that same look in another pair of eyes.

            “How’s the case coming along?”

 

             Capt. Cragen was standing in front of his desk looking none too pleased. “And
where’s Tutuola? This just came over the wire.”

            Detective Munch took the file Cragen proffered. This case was kicking all of
their proverbial asses. A perv was getting his jollies off by kidnaping and molesting little
girls. Picking them up from one part of town and leaving them stranded in another. This
gave him enough time to crawl back under his rock undetected. What scared and lost
little girl is going to go up to another stranger and ask for help? Sometimes it was days
before anyone noticed something was amiss and called the cops. Their perp had already
claimed four victims, but they were no closer to catching his ass now than they were after
the first.

            “Fin’s in the file room checking our case against any others that might have a
similar MO, but I gotta tell ya, Capt. We’re going no where with this one.”

            “Well, then maybe we just caught a break. Our kiddie napper has made a
mistake. Unfortunately for victim #5, Tracy Bingham, he chose to drop her off
somewhere on the turnpike. The New Jersey Turnpike. Fortunately for us, in doing so
he crossed state lines with a kidnaping victim. That qualifies as a federal offense. Now
maybe we can get some help from the Feds.”

            “Wait. You WANT the Feds snooping around and taking over our case?”

            “What I want, John, is for little girls to stop getting hurt. We’re not having any
luck with catching this guy. If the feds can do better, I’m all for it. And as the leads in
this case, you and your partner will be working with whomever the Bureau sends over.
So try to stifle some of that hostility and play nice, okay?” Cragen walked back to his
office leaving John with doubts about whether or not he would be able to carry out that
particular order.

             

            Ten minutes later, having left a note for Fin on his desk, he heads out the door,
hurrying past Detectives Benson and Stabler who were returning from working their
own case. He rushes past them without seemingly seeing them.

            “What’s up with him?”

            “I don’t know, El. I think this case is really starting to get to him. He was
mumbling something about killing three birds with one stone.”

            “Three birds? Isn’t it ‘two birds with one stone’?”

            “You want to try and figure out the way Munch thinks?”

            “No thanks. There isn’t enough time in the day.”