The Beast

Part 1
She was having a bad day. She hasn’t even been awake for more than five minutes and already her day sucked. As she woke up, the first and ultimately the worst thought popped into her head. Valentines Day. was was it? Less than a week away and Boyfriend-less. Again.
Samantha McPherson was the kind of girl that absolutely needed to have someone during this particular holiday. It was a dance in extremes. If she did have someone, it was the most wonderful holiday of them all. If she didn’t, it positively sucked beyond all reckoning. Strange how things work out like that. Especially in matters of the heart. One minute she was in love with George, and the next she was saying goodbye to him as he moved to yet another city. Away from her. That was a month ago and she had come to terms with his being out of her life. What she hadn’t come to terms with yet was the fact that she was going to be alone again. And now that the most romantic of all holidays was almost upon her, she knew what would be coming next.
Sam pulled herself out of bed. After having laid there with her thoughts for the past 20 minutes, she decided she wasn’t going to get up unless she got moving. Standing up with a groan, she made her way to the bathroom that adjoined Brooke and her room. Turning on the shower, she was about to get undressed when the door to Brooke’s room opened and Brooke walked in.
Brooke just glared at her for a second as if Sam’s mere presence was there just to spite her. Brooke couldn’t understand why Sam always chose to invade her space. Whenever she wanted to use the bathroom, there she was. When Brooke wanted to get the milk for her cereal, Sam used the last of it 2 minutes before. It irked her to no end.
“I need to use the shower.” Brooke exclaimotlyotly. Brooke tensed up, expecting a biting and witty comeback. She didn’t have to wait too long when Sam simply shrugged, turned off the water in the shower and walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
Brooke just stood there for at least 5 minutes with her mouth hanging open. She was stupefied. No comeback? She shrugged it off and turned on the water for her own shower.
* * *
Brooke walked downstairs, and seeing Sam standing in the doorway to the kitchen, decided she’d give it another try. “You’re not going to use all the milk again are you? ‘Cause if you plan to, I’d like to get my share first.”
“I’m not hungry.” Sam said with little feeling as she walked towards the front door.
Not taking the bait a second time made this little voice inside Brooke’s head say *Something’s wrong.* She just couldn’t understand it, it was so unlike Sam to not verbally spar with her. Brooke just couldn’t let Sam walk away like that.
“Where are you going?” Brooke said with some confusion in her voice.
“For a walk.” Sam replied as she walked out the door without looking back.
*Sam’s going for a walk? What’s wrong with this picture?*
* * *
It was a beautiful Saturday morning. Walking through the streets, Sam tried to let the beauty of the day fill her up. It was fairly chilly outside but it didn’t bother her too much. As she walked slowly, she tried to sort out her thoughts. Beauty in any form always seemed to help, whether it was a soft ballad sung by a beautiful voice, or lovely scenery. Sam had chosen the latter this morning.
Sam knew how to control her mind to some extent. She didn’t know why it did the things it did sometimes, but she knew how certain things could control it. Like when she’s pissed off for example, a good violent computer game always seemed to be a good outlet for her anger. Her mother was happy when she finally figured that out, things around their house stopped getting broken during those times.
Her mind wasn’t angry this time though; it was chaotic, and dark. Like a cloud had invaded her brain and was bumping around in there, messing things up. Letting bright and beautiful things in always seemed to help stave off the big bad dark cloud.
All these esoteric thoughts weren’t helping much though. She let her mind wander for a minute and a series of fleeting thoughts passed through her mind. Brooke and her fighting constantly, her weeping as George drove away for good, Nicole making fun of her fashion, mom scolding her for something she did wrong. The thoughts started getting jumbled and soon they were just faces, Josh, Brooke, Harrison, mom…
Sam tried to banish these thoughts and get some control. She found herself in the park where she and Brooke first met so many years ago. The sandbox where they had their first fight. As the memory popped into her head, it brought a smile to her face. She walked over and sat down on a bench near the sandbox. Looking down, she spotted a small wildflower near her feet. Absentmindedly, she bent down and picked it, bringing it to her nose and inhaling.
This was good, her mind was quieting down. She focused her thoughts on good things. Her dad and her playing here. Laughing with George. Seeing Brooke smile. This was good. She let the beauty of the area and the good memories wash over her.
Sam turned her head, detecting an intrusion in her area. A man and woman were slowly walking through the park, holding hands, leaning close to each other, whispering, smiling, and laughing quietly. They were obviously in love. The sight of the two unknown people should have brought even more beauty into her mind but it twisted it. Now Sam’s same thoughts she had were twisting. Her dad dying, George leaving, Harrison mad at her, Brooke…
A sadness started to wash over her. It seemed everyone she loved always left her. Being in love. Was she ever going to find someone to spend her life with? The sadness deepened. The couple walking by now only seemed to remind her that she had noone to love her. Now the same beauty of the area only seemed to mock her. She should be like that couple, walking with someone, in love, letting the beauty of the area enhance their love. Sharing it with each other. Only now, she was alone.
Wiping a tear from her face, she got off the bench and started to walk back home. Her failure apparent as the dark cloud settled back on her mind. She had no fight left this morning. She’d worry about it later. At least her mind wasn’t so chaotic as it was before. Now, only a single thought occupied her mind.
*I am alone*