schedule
July 11, 2010 at 12:00 AM
loved it.
schedule
June 14, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This was quite a good read, but your style is rather stilted, and it feels rushed - we know they're having sex, but some more description of the action would have improved it. You need to watch the dialogue: I'm surprised at some of the mature things these 11 and 13 year-olds said! The layout is crap - why so many lines with only one or two words on them? - and makes following the flow of the story difficult, and needs tidying up. Nevertheless, a creditable effort.
schedule
September 30, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Well, THAT certainly was interesting. The bit at the end with the actors was amusing.
schedule
September 22, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Great story
schedule
August 28, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Liked reading it. Could use some slow-down, and a bit less cliches, but still enjoyable :)