schedule
November 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hi. Great story you have here and I think you've really captured the pov's and narrative voices of the characters in their mannerisms and vernacular. You also have a great vocabulary and for the most part you've used it effectively. However I have to point out that a number of words have been used incorrectly. For example, in the last chapter, 2nd to last paragraph:
her "thimble" waist --- I think you meant "nimble"
>THIMBLE (n) a small cap used to protect the fingertip during sewing
>NIMBLE (adj) quick, agile
"spooned" into her ear --- I think you meant "swooned" (as I understand the sentence, he spoke into her ear in a rapture/joy-ful way..?)
>SPOON (v) to show affection
>SWOON (v) to enter a state of rapture, or ecstatic joy
her "thimble" waist --- I think you meant "nimble"
>THIMBLE (n) a small cap used to protect the fingertip during sewing
>NIMBLE (adj) quick, agile
"spooned" into her ear --- I think you meant "swooned" (as I understand the sentence, he spoke into her ear in a rapture/joy-ful way..?)
>SPOON (v) to show affection
>SWOON (v) to enter a state of rapture, or ecstatic joy
schedule
July 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Very excellent! I hope you'll e-mail me when you get the next chapter up... please? ;)
schedule
February 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Now that was nice. Loved all the sexual tension and teasing. Looking forward to more. Lots more :D
schedule
December 12, 2002 at 12:00 AM
This was beautiful! Thank you so much for a lovely story well written. I like the way Trip doesn't want to simply ravish or take advantage of T'Pol but wants any relationship they have to be deeper and more meaningful. Just love that. And they way they kind of tiptoe their way into the relationship is wonderful. Hugs, Ali D :~)