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March 10, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Think you need to write casey a little differently. This is heartbreaking and humiliating for Sarah, and casey is just acting like a virgin on prom night. Also had a feeling it was a setup I get Sarah.
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March 10, 2016 at 12:00 AM
So this part story is more or less over it seems? The whole point of the plan was for Sarah to infiltrate the organization as a slave and save Chuck while undercover. If her cover is blown, she's not going to be able to save anybody.
Immediately pulling out through whatever means necessary and putting her efforts toward devising a new plan to save Chuck seems like the obvious next step. Staying is just a plot contrivance (though something tells me that's exactly what's gonna happen, lol).
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March 10, 2016 at 12:00 AM
@anon nah they will make Sarah an offer, if she goes willingly with them they will let chuck go free. Then Sarah becomes their sex slave
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March 10, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Oh, boy. I can't wait to see Sarah Walker trust and take the word of murders, rapists and slavers and put her own life/body on the line instead of simply withdrawing and trying to get Chuck by force. I can't decide which one is more in-character. Maybe you guys can help me out.
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March 10, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Absolutely stunning chapter. Loving Sarah having to submit to Lesoux. Detail level is pretty good and paceing is also just right. Love the fact that you have included Casey and the fact that he also isn't immune to the beauty that is Sarah Walker. The plotline definatley adds to the overall hotness of the story but I'm not here for the plot so any holes or characters not acting "correctly" just pale into insignificance. This story is rapidly heading for inclusion into my top three hottest stories, please, please continue!
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March 10, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Fuck yeah bro. Love Sarah covered in cum.
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March 6, 2016 at 12:00 AM
I would like to remind everyone that flaming and trolling are both against the ToS here at AFF. I ask that you all try to remain civil and act like the adults you claim to be to enter this site.
The review board is not the place to hold a debate, it is for reviews ONLY. We have a forum that was set up just for that purpose and I'd like to invite any of you that wishes to start a forum topic where you can discuss this topic to your heart's content. Here's the link for our forums: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php
CL.Mustafic
AFF Archive Moderator
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March 4, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Like Lisa I think the real target was Sarah. They kidnapped chuck cos they knew Sarah would come for him and they only way to do that is by using sex. They want to hurt and break her maybe due to a previous mission of hers or something. They want Sarah to enjoy the sex and be attracted to them and when she is they will tell her that they knew who she was all along.
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March 3, 2016 at 12:00 AM
i can understand some reviewers problems with this story as i had the same thoughts. the premise was a good idea.we get to see sarah having hot sex but shes doing it to find and protect chuck, sarah sacrificing herself and her body to find the man she loves i can respect that difficult choice.
but here come the problems. she was getting aroused about thinking of having sex with other guys. also she was transfixed by his beautiful eyes and she felt something when she looked at him. this doesnt make sense to me. obviously she would come to enjoy the sex after a while, but to get aroused by the thought of it and having feelings for a criminal who has probably helped to kidnap her boyfriend just contradicts the whole premise. this story goes from sarah sacrificing her body to save chuck to sarah fucking other men cause she finds them attractive even though they are criminals. also the title. what could sarah exchange apart from herself? so sarah is going to stay with the criminals cause she wants too in exchange for chucks freedom, that makes no sense. i know some people are gonna say its adult fanfiction but if you are gonna add a plot to a story make sure it flows and is believeable instead of everything contradicting itself. i fear this story is gonna go the same way as many others has gone. it starts out with sarah doing everything she can to find the man she loves. but after a few chapters sarah doesnt even care about chuck anymore, all she cares about is getting fucked by a man who she finds attractive and possibly helped in kidnapping her boyfriend. i hope you prove me wrong about my theory but i just cant see that happening
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March 3, 2016 at 12:00 AM
The last review makes some good points.
I think Sarah would get turned on in the future over the sex and she would possibly find the man attractive after a while but only after she has been broke by the men. I don't think Sarah would be having them thoughts before she has been broken though. That's just my opinion but the way you have done it doesn't really seem right to me