rate_review Reviews

I disagree with the anonymous reviewer, I think your Sarah is spot on. Even in canon Sarah fell for Chuck early on, she just couldn't act on her feeling because of the circumstances (the Intersect, national security etc). Here, she's free to do as she pleases so it only makes sense things move faster.

Right but I think the point trying to be made is that the show had a romantic arc. Sarah having feelings but not being able to act on them was just the canon justification for the beginning of the story - the "they aren't together and are unsure about each other" part.

Whereas, in this story, it would seem the justification behind that phase would be this idea that Sarah isn't looking for anything serious, or any kind of relationship at all really. The problem seems to be that that idea isn't being emphasized enough and instead it's left them in this weird limbo where it feels like they're already together when they're not/shouldn't be. In that sense I think the criticism is justified, if a bit overblown.

This is still enjoyable, but is definitely going in a different direction than I thought when first read the description. I don't know. They haven't have the what-are-we "talk" yet but Sarah already seems way too romantic when describing their relationship. The fun of this story to me (especially when it's told from Sarah's POV) is seeing the aloof, distant agent (detective) Sarah transform into somebody who wants more but doesn't know how to express it, similar to the way we did in the show. A lot of what I noticed was subtle, but it still feels like things are moving too fast. They've seen each other once and he's staying to make coffee and offering to take her out on ice cream dates. While those are both probably things Chuck would do (at least Chuck as we know him in canon, I hope yours is at least somewhat different), her reaction to it seems flimsy. The latter you managed to have Sarah brush off but neither interaction have held any hint of the uneasiness that it seems like she would be feeling at this point.

Anyway, if you agree, just try to watch that if you can. It's not a huge deal, but I do feel like it hurts the story.

To kind of punctuate my last review: this doesn't feel like Season 1 Chuck & Sarah. It doesn't even feel like season 2. It feels more like Season 4/5 C&S. And that has nothing to do with the sex and everything to do with their attitudes toward each other.

This is one of the best fan fic I have ever read. You're an amazing writer! The story is original and the pace is just right! I really look forward to how this story develops!

Glorious. More please!

Well.....the writing is truly impressive. The pacing is just right, the background story is good. You definately have a flair for writing. Love your descriptive skills and the variety of words that you use. The sex scenes are amazingly hot and really well written. Your writing is definitely several levels above the norm that I have comne to expect from amateur authors. Seriously its amazingly good.

How for the bad bits.....
Like 99% of Chuck fanfiction writers, you seem to have aimed this story at female or gay readers.
There seems to be an over abundance of Chuck despcriptions and almost nothing of Sarah.
I know that Chuck is really really tall (76 inches in fact) he has dark curly hair and the curls are unbelievable soft and he sometimes uses product, and he has strong sexy biceps, his glorious shoulders are impressively wide, his lithe, strong body is warm and hard and covered in muscle. He has nice soft delicious kissable lips, he has big hands, and he's a veritable god in bed.
As for Sarah, she has breasts, nipples, an ass, lips, legs and a vagina. Oh, and she also has a really nice car.
I'm a straight adult male GODDAMIT!
I really, REALLY don't want to read about all of Chucks no doubt amazing attributes.
I want to read about Sarahs amazing attributes - in glorious beautiful detail.

Please please consider us poor neglected straight males. There really is no enjoyment for us reading about another man in this sort of detail, and going on and on about how perfect he is has been done to death, resurrected and done to death again.

Another great chapter. Keep up the great writing. Curious to see if you make them use the syrup in more interesting ways than just on ice cream ;D

This was great. I enjoy the other stuff you've written but they definitely suffer from a lack of plot (which some people prefer I guess, but it can get monotonous). At first I was really put off by the first person choice but I think in the end you pulled it off. I also like how you've somewhat flipped the dynamic that we normally see. Sarah is the boring one who needs a change in her life and Chuck is the mysterious stranger who turns her world upside down. It's a little hard to pull off because these characters still have to feel like themselves but it's a very original take, and I say that as someone who's read a lot in the fandom.

Great start. I like C/S AUs and your writing is so good I wouldn't mind if this story had plenty on plot & "non-smut" content too. Can't wait for more.