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January 31, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Not to argue about it but I see these comments about how "cold" Sarah is or "feels nothing for Chuck at all" and I wonder why they think that. I think you've done a tremendous job of depicting Sarah as simultaneously wounded, terrified of love and DEFINITELY falling hard for Chuck.
"Depicting" not "explaining"...and that's more than OK. I am curious about the particulars of how badly she's been hurt before, what actually transpired, why she's really holding back, if she has herself fooled (doesn't even realize the strength of her feelings) or is deliberately setting them aside (out of fear?), etc.
But I definitely "see" all of those complex emotions in your writing even as you keep the motivations cloudy and that's my favorite thing about your story. Hopefully the Ellie developments will push the issue a bit but I'm looking forward to seeing it all unveiled.
Keep up the great work!
P.S. - I read stories here for the smut factor (and you do a great job with that too) but it's a testament to the quality that I had to make a separate point of mentioning anything about sex Not to argue about it but I see these comments about how "cold" Sarah is or "feels nothing for Chuck at all" and I wonder why they think that. I think you've done a tremendous job of depicting Sarah as simultaneously wounded, terrified of love and DEFINITELY falling hard for Chuck.
"Depicting" not "explaining"...and that's more than OK. I am curious about the particulars of how badly she's been hurt before, what actually transpired, why she's really holding back, if she has herself fooled (doesn't even realize the strength of her feelings) or is deliberately setting them aside (out of fear?), etc.
But I definitely "see" all of those complex emotions in your writing even as you keep the motivations cloudy and that's my favorite thing about your story. Hopefully the Ellie developments will push the issue a bit but I'm looking forward to seeing it all unveiled.
Keep up the great work!
P.S. - I read stories here for the smut factor (and you do a great job with that too) but it's a testament to the quality that I had to make a separate point of mentioning anything about sex scenes when describing this story!
"Depicting" not "explaining"...and that's more than OK. I am curious about the particulars of how badly she's been hurt before, what actually transpired, why she's really holding back, if she has herself fooled (doesn't even realize the strength of her feelings) or is deliberately setting them aside (out of fear?), etc.
But I definitely "see" all of those complex emotions in your writing even as you keep the motivations cloudy and that's my favorite thing about your story. Hopefully the Ellie developments will push the issue a bit but I'm looking forward to seeing it all unveiled.
Keep up the great work!
P.S. - I read stories here for the smut factor (and you do a great job with that too) but it's a testament to the quality that I had to make a separate point of mentioning anything about sex Not to argue about it but I see these comments about how "cold" Sarah is or "feels nothing for Chuck at all" and I wonder why they think that. I think you've done a tremendous job of depicting Sarah as simultaneously wounded, terrified of love and DEFINITELY falling hard for Chuck.
"Depicting" not "explaining"...and that's more than OK. I am curious about the particulars of how badly she's been hurt before, what actually transpired, why she's really holding back, if she has herself fooled (doesn't even realize the strength of her feelings) or is deliberately setting them aside (out of fear?), etc.
But I definitely "see" all of those complex emotions in your writing even as you keep the motivations cloudy and that's my favorite thing about your story. Hopefully the Ellie developments will push the issue a bit but I'm looking forward to seeing it all unveiled.
Keep up the great work!
P.S. - I read stories here for the smut factor (and you do a great job with that too) but it's a testament to the quality that I had to make a separate point of mentioning anything about sex scenes when describing this story!
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January 31, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Ha ha! Cut and paste fail!
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January 18, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for posting! I'm really glad the plot is moving forward. As always, great writing.
I do agree with another reviewer when it comes to Sarah : she seems very cold. I get how it was necessary to the plot at the beginning, but after so many chapters it's starting to feel like Chuck would be better off without her. I really hope Ellie makes him realize he deserves more and that it leads to a change of attitude for at least one of them.
I do agree with another reviewer when it comes to Sarah : she seems very cold. I get how it was necessary to the plot at the beginning, but after so many chapters it's starting to feel like Chuck would be better off without her. I really hope Ellie makes him realize he deserves more and that it leads to a change of attitude for at least one of them.
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January 16, 2016 at 12:00 AM
The whole Ellie meeting Sarah scene was hilarious, very well done.
I do have one criticism/negative and that's Sarah. She just comes across as a very self-centered/selfish person. I know it's difficult because you're writing from her P.O.V but very rarely is the sex ever about Chuck. She doesn't do anything in particular to/for him, it always seems to be about her.
When you add that on to her being lost in her hand and her having doubts about Chuck and their 'arrangement'....well it just feels like she feels nothing for Chuck at all. Once again, I completely understand that she is confused about where to draw the lines and all of that, BUT I think you need to be careful with it.
There was a whole lot of doubt from her in this chapter, about her life/job, about their arrangement, about Chuck's feelings (she didn't think of hers once), about what his sister would think. It's just a lot of her distancing herself, it makes it feels like Chuck is getting taken advantage of/doesn't know what he is getting himself into.
I do have one criticism/negative and that's Sarah. She just comes across as a very self-centered/selfish person. I know it's difficult because you're writing from her P.O.V but very rarely is the sex ever about Chuck. She doesn't do anything in particular to/for him, it always seems to be about her.
When you add that on to her being lost in her hand and her having doubts about Chuck and their 'arrangement'....well it just feels like she feels nothing for Chuck at all. Once again, I completely understand that she is confused about where to draw the lines and all of that, BUT I think you need to be careful with it.
There was a whole lot of doubt from her in this chapter, about her life/job, about their arrangement, about Chuck's feelings (she didn't think of hers once), about what his sister would think. It's just a lot of her distancing herself, it makes it feels like Chuck is getting taken advantage of/doesn't know what he is getting himself into.
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January 16, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter as usual. Can't wait to read more
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January 16, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Thank you for the new chapter! It was f'ing sexy as usual but also funny. Can't wait until the next chapter!
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January 16, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Wow Ellie knows now so I guess she will be bugging Chuck to bring Sara over for a family dinner can't wait to see how Chuck and Sara will handle that
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January 16, 2016 at 12:00 AM
This (16) was my favorite chapter yet. I'm happy there was enough non-smut content to keep the story moving forward. Ellie's appearance was a nice touch.
Hopefully this trend continues, thanks for writing.
Hopefully this trend continues, thanks for writing.
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January 6, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Yessssssssssssss. This is some seriously hot shit. And a beautiful story as a bonus. Thanks!
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January 4, 2016 at 12:00 AM
Just read this through for the first time. Great story, both plot and sex. Am looking forward to more. thanks for posting.