schedule
July 6, 2015 at 12:00 AM
been thinking of that myself since i read this the other day. if chuck joins in, then he is an idiot if im honest. it would be double pleasure for sarah if chuck joins in, not much of a punishment for multiple accounts of cheating. im curious as to how he finds out, does he find the videos or catch them fucking? pretty grim either way. but when he does find out personally id like for him to just abandon sarah and morgan, completely cut them from his life. hopefully he doesnt join in, as i feel they both need to be taught a lesson.
schedule
July 2, 2015 at 12:00 AM
well written so far, but a couple of things just dont make sense. i know the whole point of an adult story is the sex, but if you do add a plot to the story at least make it believeable. sarah could hide her guilt from chuck about fucking a mark, but her password is chuck, seriously? the top cia agent having her password as her boyfriends name. then she get blackmailed by the biggest idiot on the planet, really? why wouldnt she of checked for bugs or cameras? i know it was only morgan, but if her could blackmail her once, he could certainly try it again.
then she start fucking morgan so she doesnt lose chuck, unbelieveable. the truth always comes out eventually, it will just be 100 times worse for chuck when he does eventually find out. he will lose his best friend and his girlfriend, the ultimate betrayal once again. chuck probably would of forgiven her for fucking the mark as it saved lives, but wont forgive her with morgan.
then she start fucking morgan so she doesnt lose chuck, unbelieveable. the truth always comes out eventually, it will just be 100 times worse for chuck when he does eventually find out. he will lose his best friend and his girlfriend, the ultimate betrayal once again. chuck probably would of forgiven her for fucking the mark as it saved lives, but wont forgive her with morgan.
schedule
June 22, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Can you give us a rough idea of when you'll have the next chapter ready? Don't get me wrong, the last one was really good and obviously took a while, just curious cause I can't wait for some of the other good stuff you undoubtedly have planned to happen (particularly the facefuck Morgan thinks about doing next time in Chapter 5).
schedule
June 9, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Well this was the chapter everyone was waiting for and it really didn't disappoint. I like the dynamic you have going and I really like the pairing. It's absolutely preferable to me for Sarah to slowly start enjoying it on a physical level even as she's hating herself during and after. I couldn't sit there and read an entire story where Sarah's character just gets dehumanized over and over and she spends the whole time wishing she was dead. That's not exciting or fun to read, just depressing.
To touch more on that point, there's been A LOT of vocal response in these reviews (both positive and negative) but I think you should take solace in the fact that you're writing something that many people care enough about to have such strong feelings. Building off that I really think you would benefit from a beta reader. Even if you don't want them giving their input on the story and only require them to check it for spelling and grammar. It would still help the quality of the story immensely. I'm someone who can sit there and read through something no matter what if I like it enough, but I doubt I'm the majority.
To touch more on that point, there's been A LOT of vocal response in these reviews (both positive and negative) but I think you should take solace in the fact that you're writing something that many people care enough about to have such strong feelings. Building off that I really think you would benefit from a beta reader. Even if you don't want them giving their input on the story and only require them to check it for spelling and grammar. It would still help the quality of the story immensely. I'm someone who can sit there and read through something no matter what if I like it enough, but I doubt I'm the majority.
schedule
June 8, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Well, I'm quite pleased with the direction this is taking. Charah might be my favorite pairing of all time but that doesn't mean I don't also enjoy seeing Sarah (or any character really) put in unconventional situations.
There's room for both types of stories. More than two types even. Apparently at least two people don't enjoy moving in this particular direction which would be fine if they could stop whining and complaining about it. Move on. Is someone forcing you to read? Should we send help?
Most porn starts out somewhat believable but at some point becomes less believable. Fortunately, that's usually when a lot of fucking is going on. I hope it gets even less "believable" and that even more fucking happens. I'm not even sorry that I'm not sorry about that.
Looking forward to the session Morgan has in mind when he treats her like a slut (especially that face fuck and especially if she gets into being handled roughly like that) rather than this role play. Just putting her in progressively more and more degrading situations.
Sarah liked it despite herself. And I like how you're making that an involuntarily progressive thing; enjoying oral (I hope Morgan continues to provide this "service", she likes it and he likes doing it), having an "Oh God!" moment while being fucked by him, etc. It'll be fun to see her still trying to have an intimate relationship with Chuck and then calling Morgan, begging him to help her get off, and Morgan making her "earn" it.
They need to get the whole contraception/"I'm clean you're clean" thing out of the way so he can cum inside her. Which I'm sure she'll love. She'll just have to choose between that and gobbling it down.
Believable? Hell no, but who gives a fuck!
:)
Looking forward to what Morgan has planned next!
There's room for both types of stories. More than two types even. Apparently at least two people don't enjoy moving in this particular direction which would be fine if they could stop whining and complaining about it. Move on. Is someone forcing you to read? Should we send help?
Most porn starts out somewhat believable but at some point becomes less believable. Fortunately, that's usually when a lot of fucking is going on. I hope it gets even less "believable" and that even more fucking happens. I'm not even sorry that I'm not sorry about that.
Looking forward to the session Morgan has in mind when he treats her like a slut (especially that face fuck and especially if she gets into being handled roughly like that) rather than this role play. Just putting her in progressively more and more degrading situations.
Sarah liked it despite herself. And I like how you're making that an involuntarily progressive thing; enjoying oral (I hope Morgan continues to provide this "service", she likes it and he likes doing it), having an "Oh God!" moment while being fucked by him, etc. It'll be fun to see her still trying to have an intimate relationship with Chuck and then calling Morgan, begging him to help her get off, and Morgan making her "earn" it.
They need to get the whole contraception/"I'm clean you're clean" thing out of the way so he can cum inside her. Which I'm sure she'll love. She'll just have to choose between that and gobbling it down.
Believable? Hell no, but who gives a fuck!
:)
Looking forward to what Morgan has planned next!
schedule
June 8, 2015 at 12:00 AM
hope when chuck finds out whats happening, you have him get revenge on them both. Maybe by then Morgan is already dating Alex whilst fucking Sarah, so Chuck unleashes the Casey on him. As for Sarah shes fucking Morgan so she doesnt lose Chuck, I hope at the end of the story you dont have chuck forgiving her like nothing happened.
The perfect punishment would be, shes fucked Morgan for months so she could keep Chuck, but she loses him anyway cause he couldnt see past the betrayal. Maybe he gets some action on the side or he just moves on with someone else, or maybe he just ends things with sarah. That would be quite fitting.
The perfect punishment would be, shes fucked Morgan for months so she could keep Chuck, but she loses him anyway cause he couldnt see past the betrayal. Maybe he gets some action on the side or he just moves on with someone else, or maybe he just ends things with sarah. That would be quite fitting.
schedule
June 3, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Finally we got the chapter we were waiting for and it did deliever. Loved it.
Can't wait to see what's happening next.
Can't wait to see what's happening next.
schedule
June 2, 2015 at 12:00 AM
nawww the cheerleader has nothing interesting to say in return, I'm so very surprised by this. :(
schedule
June 2, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Thank you mufc87.
ChuckIsAwesome resorted to name calling because he realized I make perfect sense and was unable to counter the point I made.
The whole premise is Sarah being blackmailed. As soon as she starts to want it/enjoy it, then the whole premise becomes insignificant, and then it is simply cheating, plain and simple. There is no ambiguity, you spent 4 chapters building up the blackmail to completely destroy it in the 5th chapter, and that's the honest truth.
You spoke about in your authors notes how you didn't want to rush it, you wanted to show the details behind Morgan's plan to get her to do whatever he wishes, but you then made chapter 5 showing Sarah liking it, showing Sarah enjoy it. That isn't realistic. That is reducing your first 4 chapters to irrelevancy.
And that isn't me hating on porn fics, that isn't me being unaware on what website I'm on. That's asking for consistency and the story growing organically, not its whole premise changing in 1 chapter, particularly when the first 4 chapters were paced well.
Call me a hater, but unless you are willing to argue my point, then I'm right.
ChuckIsAwesome resorted to name calling because he realized I make perfect sense and was unable to counter the point I made.
The whole premise is Sarah being blackmailed. As soon as she starts to want it/enjoy it, then the whole premise becomes insignificant, and then it is simply cheating, plain and simple. There is no ambiguity, you spent 4 chapters building up the blackmail to completely destroy it in the 5th chapter, and that's the honest truth.
You spoke about in your authors notes how you didn't want to rush it, you wanted to show the details behind Morgan's plan to get her to do whatever he wishes, but you then made chapter 5 showing Sarah liking it, showing Sarah enjoy it. That isn't realistic. That is reducing your first 4 chapters to irrelevancy.
And that isn't me hating on porn fics, that isn't me being unaware on what website I'm on. That's asking for consistency and the story growing organically, not its whole premise changing in 1 chapter, particularly when the first 4 chapters were paced well.
Call me a hater, but unless you are willing to argue my point, then I'm right.
schedule
June 2, 2015 at 12:00 AM
again i agree with the last anon review. The way you started the story with the first 4 chapters, was set up well. Sarah was going to be forced to do whatever morgan wanted even though she didn't want to. That's understandable, she thought she didn't have a choice if she didn't want to lose chuck.
But after the 5th chapter you have completely changed the plot direction. Sarah already enjoys the time with Morgan, which in my opinion makes the first 4 chapters worthless. It's not about blackmail, guilt and not losing chuck anymore. Now the story is just sarah cheating and her wanting to be with Morgan whenever possible.
If Sarah enjoying her times with Morgan was the way you wanted the story to go originally, then you should have set the first 4 chapters up differently.The way it was set up and the direction it's going in now totally contradict one another. After the first 4 chapters the direction the story is going now, just doesnt make sense at all.
But after the 5th chapter you have completely changed the plot direction. Sarah already enjoys the time with Morgan, which in my opinion makes the first 4 chapters worthless. It's not about blackmail, guilt and not losing chuck anymore. Now the story is just sarah cheating and her wanting to be with Morgan whenever possible.
If Sarah enjoying her times with Morgan was the way you wanted the story to go originally, then you should have set the first 4 chapters up differently.The way it was set up and the direction it's going in now totally contradict one another. After the first 4 chapters the direction the story is going now, just doesnt make sense at all.