rate_review Reviews

well this story didnt go where i thought it was going. i thought sarah sleeping with morgan was going to be some sort of punishment for her cheating on chuck. but shes already enjoying it with morgan after the first time, doesnt seem much like a punishment if shes getting pleasure and enjoyment out of it. can already see where this story is going now, she keeps enjoying it, chuck eventually finds out and probably forgives her or she just stays with morgan even though he was blackmailing her. think you went the wrong direction with this story to be honest but ill keep checking it out to see if it improves.

You said this in one of your review comments

"Chuck will always be her main priority, so she'll go through with it only to hate herself even more afterwards"

If you really are trying to reinforce that she is only doing it to stay with Chuck why do you spend so much time bigging up Morgan whilst bringing down Chuck? You mentioned her sex life with Chuck in a negative way, you make it so Morgan is the biggest she has had when there is no need to do it. You have her enjoying the sex the very first time they do it. I love the premise, I just don't like the subtle Chuck bashing you put in whilst trying to say that Sarah is doing this all for Chuck, it just doesn't ring true.

I honestly think that is the problem people (the ones who criticize) have with the story, not that Chuck is getting lied to or played, but you belittle his character every chance you can.

You say Sarah (you use the term 'some woman') have a desire to be dominated, yet that doesn't mean they want someone they don't like/care for to blackmail/rape them. Don't simplify her emotions into liking it because she is being dominated. It's more complex than that.

I know this sounds negative, but I actually enjoy the story the Chuck bashing excluded. You spent a lot of effort building up the blackmail aspect, I just plead that you remain true to that premise and keep it realistic in that sense.

Thanks

After reading this story and the reviews this morning, I can understand the frustrations some of the reviewers are having. I know it's your story to write how you want and i appreciate the hard work you put into it, But some things just don't make sense. But the last review from confused is what made me read this again and look at it in a new light.

Chuck will always be her main priority, obviously not if she goes out and sleeps with marks for the job. She obviously put the job above Chuck which to me means the job is more important then Chuck. To be honest i'm struggling to see where it shows she actually cares about Chuck. She obviously doesn't think highly of him in bed because she speaks of that in a negative way. She cheats behind his back with multiple people, How does this show she cares? And going off your tags for the story a female will be involved, Which will probably be Ellie knowing Morgan. The truth always comes out eventually, Does she realise the damage that will do to Chuck when he finds out that the person he loves most in the world is sleeping with his best friend? And for how Morgan is the biggest she's had was that really necessary? It seems to me she's praising Morgan and that she's actually impressed, whilst demeaning chuck any chance she can get.

Now onto the matter of her being dominated. As a woman I can agree with this to some degree. I love the slow lovemaking I share with my boyfriend but when we both are feeling a bit wild we like to get a little rough. But that is only with my boyfriend, somebody whom i'm, attracted to and care about. With anybody else it would just make me physically sick to my stomach.

You say Sarah liked being used. Hasn't she been used her whole life? From her father to Bryce to the CIA? She's tired of being used, that's why she loves Chuck so much cause he doesn't treat her like that. You also say Sarah is always in control, even with sex. I agree that outside of missions she would be in control, but on a mission where she has to sleep with a terrorist for example, she wouldn't be in control. A terrorist would be a powerful man who is used to getting his own way, the sex would be all about him and no pleasure for the woman he is sleeping with. So he would be dominating her to do his bidding, a lot more controlling and dominating then Morgan Grimes ever could be. So if she didn't enjoy it then why would she with Morgan?

You spend the first four chapters saying how much she hates Morgan, then after one night with him shes enjoying it. Talk about one extreme to the other. Why isn't she trying to work out a plan to stop him? Steal his laptop or something, wouldnt it be worth the risk of being caught so she didnt have to sleep with him again? Why is she just going along blindly with it and doing nothing to stop it?

Hopefully in the upcoming chapters you actually show Sarah feeling guilty and actually caring about Chuck because there has been a complete lack of it so far. Now I do like the story, it's just that so many things contradict one another. Many people won't agree with me, they think adult stories are just about the sex. True in some respects but the sex is only happening because of the plotline you included, so to me that makes it important in this story. Without the plotline there is no sex. Anyway i'm looking forward to see where you take this in future chapters, especially how Chuck finds out and such but i think that might be a few chapters away yet.

Please don't give up cause of the more demanding reviewers. Take your time, no one writes full time for adult fanfiction, so who cares how long it takes. I personally don't care if chuck finds out or not, if the story is 100% realism or not. I just enjoy the idea of a cheating Sarah story. Looking forward to the next chapter man :)

sorry to hear about your personal problems. didnt mean to come across as nasty or that i was criticising to much im just eager to see where this story goes. i didnt know if it was intentional or not with how you wrote sarah making rookie mistakes, so i pointed it out in hopes of you clearing that up, and you did so thanks. now i know you purposefully wrote sarah that way, it makes some things easier to understand, also helps me understand hers and your thought process on the direction of the story. which i like by the way, sorry to make you think i didnt.

Hello people sorry about the silence , I find I go through stages of motivation with this story . People keep asking about Chuck taking revenge etc . I've said before you'll have to wait and see . I already know how this story will finish , but I don't want to give anything away yet. As for the reviewer commenting on Sarah's password , I won't lie I sometimes cringe at that myself, at the time I was being lazy and didn't think anyone would pay much attention to this story but apparently that changed. As for the bugs , my thoughts on that is Sarah's slipping . She's so caught up in trying to keep Chuck from finding out that's she making ameteur mistakes. She doesn't think he'll both anymore after he already has her trapped so thats why she doesn't check anymore. Hope that clears up my thoughts, and thank you for reading.

If anyone is interested, I'm about half way through the next chapter.

i know sometimes people lose motivation during stories but last time it was 3 months before you updated this story and now its been 5 weeks. eventually people are gonna lose patience and give up on the story cause its not updated often enough. if you lose motivation that often when we are only 5 chapters in, maybe its worth just cutting the story short so we can see some resolution to this story, at least that way it will at least become finished. as you said before you have a lot of things planned for this story but at the rate you update it will be next year at least before its finished maybe longer. not sure i agree with you on the sarah slipping part though, once she was with chuck she became hyper aware and more protective, so she didnt lose him, if anything she became better at her job.

I've been having a shit ton of personal problems that's why I go through stages of motivation if you must know . And while I'm grateful for peoples reviews , I'm also tired of trying to defend my PoV of how I see things . If you don't buy it don't read it , want cannon go watch the tv show although that's leaking with plot holes anyway or better yet write a story the way you want it . Adult fan fiction is for stories of the adult variety , fantasy etc . Authors on this site put effort into something wich is free by the way , and it isn't always going to go the way you want it . It's the best I can do , So to anyone who's not pleased by it . Go read something else.....

Please don't lose motivation for this story. Let the haters hate. I love his story and am desperate to read more. You are exactly right, this is adult fan fiction and the plot is secondary to the sex. I'm here to read about Sarah fucking. I don't care who it's with. Although I prefer it to be heterosexual.

Thing I'm most curious about this story is if you'll have Chuck find out.

Do you take the smut route and have him join in?

Or the more legit route and he kills himself at the betrayal or just runs away from everyone forever?