schedule
August 9, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Just having found and read this story I'm intrigued by where it's going to go and what 'Morgan's Law' is exactly. I imagine some sort of rule about how they'll be fucking or how often... excited for the next chapter though.
Reading the other reviews as well there's some very hot and interesting places the story can go that people have suggested. Particularly liked the one that suggesting Casey would fuck Sarah. Though I'm not sure how and why Morgan would and arrange this, it'd be a great chapter.
Reading the other reviews as well there's some very hot and interesting places the story can go that people have suggested. Particularly liked the one that suggesting Casey would fuck Sarah. Though I'm not sure how and why Morgan would and arrange this, it'd be a great chapter.
schedule
July 28, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Hey Merlin,
I like your storyline. It's very difficult when you get reviewers that have an agenda. Some will always be just Chuck/Sarah and I get that, but that is a boring storyline. Sarah had multiple story lines that can be exploited. I think you should keep writing whatever you want to write, trust me people will read it. Just stay true to your vision and your idea, after all what you are doing is giving people a free gift.
I like your storyline. It's very difficult when you get reviewers that have an agenda. Some will always be just Chuck/Sarah and I get that, but that is a boring storyline. Sarah had multiple story lines that can be exploited. I think you should keep writing whatever you want to write, trust me people will read it. Just stay true to your vision and your idea, after all what you are doing is giving people a free gift.
schedule
July 28, 2015 at 12:00 AM
'Confused' says: "Why spend so long building up the blackmail if you don't care about it being believable? That makes no sense."
Most starting premises are a bit unbelievable like, for example, a guy with a database in his head.
But your "observation" is one-dimensional and lacks any follow-through of thought.
Allow me to summarize: Morgan had a written report he used to get a BJ from Sarah. Then he had video of the BJ to acquire another BJ and promises of obedience. Then he got that pledge from her repeated on a recording and then he parlayed all that for sex. Now he has footage of the sex to get... Whatever is next but Sarah is also starting to enjoy being used. What's so confusing?
Did you think the blackmail would KEEP following that escalation pattern indefinitely? Report-BJ-sex-creampie-anal-threesome-prostitution-BuyMoreGangbang-then what?!
At what point would THAT have become "unbelievable" to you?
The motivations HAD to evolve or the acts themselves would have grown more and more extreme to the point that a "still objecting" Sarah would have just bit the bullet and confessed everything to Chuck.
But if the dirty little girl starts to secretly get off on it...
I don't think it's very confusing at all. There was a starting premise and it has evolved.
Or were you just being snarky for the sake of it?
Most starting premises are a bit unbelievable like, for example, a guy with a database in his head.
But your "observation" is one-dimensional and lacks any follow-through of thought.
Allow me to summarize: Morgan had a written report he used to get a BJ from Sarah. Then he had video of the BJ to acquire another BJ and promises of obedience. Then he got that pledge from her repeated on a recording and then he parlayed all that for sex. Now he has footage of the sex to get... Whatever is next but Sarah is also starting to enjoy being used. What's so confusing?
Did you think the blackmail would KEEP following that escalation pattern indefinitely? Report-BJ-sex-creampie-anal-threesome-prostitution-BuyMoreGangbang-then what?!
At what point would THAT have become "unbelievable" to you?
The motivations HAD to evolve or the acts themselves would have grown more and more extreme to the point that a "still objecting" Sarah would have just bit the bullet and confessed everything to Chuck.
But if the dirty little girl starts to secretly get off on it...
I don't think it's very confusing at all. There was a starting premise and it has evolved.
Or were you just being snarky for the sake of it?
schedule
July 27, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Hey Merlin
Nice to read that you have not abandoned this story. It's funny and frankly quite embarrassing to see people getting hyper over fictional characters and haranguing you over the plotline when the TV show had huge holes in its story lines. I just want slutty Sarah getting banged by Morgan and loving every bit of it.
Few ideas..Morgan wants Sarah dressed up as Princess Leia, Morgan owes Lester and Jeff a favor and lets them double team Sarah, Christmas time fuck at Bartowski household. Please make them as smutty as possible.
Cheers
Nice to read that you have not abandoned this story. It's funny and frankly quite embarrassing to see people getting hyper over fictional characters and haranguing you over the plotline when the TV show had huge holes in its story lines. I just want slutty Sarah getting banged by Morgan and loving every bit of it.
Few ideas..Morgan wants Sarah dressed up as Princess Leia, Morgan owes Lester and Jeff a favor and lets them double team Sarah, Christmas time fuck at Bartowski household. Please make them as smutty as possible.
Cheers
schedule
July 27, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I just wanted to also add that I love this story. I would also love for Sarah's reluctance to always remain a part of the story. I want her to have moments where she enjoys it but I also love seeing her degraded and humiliated. Keep up the good work.
schedule
July 26, 2015 at 12:00 AM
About your recent rebuttals...
"I won't be changing it or the direction it's going"...thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
I loved this chapter and the direction of the story and can't wait for what's next.
"...well, I will tell you he'll [Chuck will] end up doing better then you think."... Yay!! The biggest potential downfall, and a concern I also had, addressed. (Now everyone can just shut up about it.)
I don't know what you're going to do or how you're going to go about it but I now have faith you'll be working toward it.
Maybe Sarah ends up with her ass in the air strapped to a turntable in a sex club for anyone to use her holes at Morgan's direction (and she LOVES it) but Chuck's end game in that would be interesting.
(Wouldn't it be nice to see Chuck come in once a month to fuck his ex for free (courtesy of Morgan) and her looking forward to it because she still loves Chuck but can't break free of this sex beast she's turned into!)
Now to the story!...
To the point of some complainers, she's already crossed a line that makes this very unlikely to end up as any kind of Charah story. And as much as I ship them, that's fine by me! I'm glad you like the "weird pairing".
I loved how you've started down the path of Sarah turning into exactly what Morgan described: begging for Morgan's cock and dropping her panties for him at every opportunity (hopefully in places where there's a risk of them getting caught; and then having to service various people to buy their silence... believability is not my chief concern here! ;))
I loved that she was enjoying him eating her out, despite herself. Morgan seems to like going down on her (or like that he can draw out genuine pleasure from her despite the blackmail) so I hope he drives her to orgasm after orgasm and it will turn into something she begs for.
But I guess that's not the most submissive approach so I'm curious how/if you incorporate it. I also like that Sarah walks into and out of the room as the "capable agent" but IN the room showed signs of eventually turning into the fuck toy slave behind closed doors (if you take it that far - please do!)
She CAN be both.
I also like that Morgan is pretty well endowed to the point that Sarah thinks he's big even with her seductress/iffy past. (Yes, Chucksters we get that the seductress thing is a stretch for Sarah and the show. But here it has been declared. Move on. ... That said, maybe we find out just how much Sarah secretly enjoyed "taking one for the team" during her spy career?!)
Does Morgan have a real girlfriend (Alex?!) at this point? It would be interesting if the gf gained control of Morgan's new "toy". Or, I mentioned in an earlier review, Carina could fill that role!
If Alex is around, I'll reiterate that I wouldn't mind seeing Chuck and Morgan end up essentially trading Sarah for Alex as it progresses... Just saying.
I loved Sarah just slightly enjoying the pleasure of Morgan ramming up into her and then flipping her over and burying his cock in her. She may hate Morgan right now but she's starting to really like his dick! I like that this transformation (wherever it's headed) is happening slowly. You can offer just a hint of her liking it and even though that's enough to turn many away I'm looking forward to seeing that intensify.
Her reaction to the next call/text from Morgan will be interesting. I hope she gets wet wondering what he has in store. Maybe rides Chuck extra hard when she gets home trying to make up for it in some weird way. Maybe tries to get Chuck to stop being quite so sweet all the time and to just "use" her too.
The birth control / protection thing needs to be discussed because Morgan NEEDS to be cumming inside her. Every hole. I want her as addicted to his cum as his cock. Maybe he just checks her file?
Maybe Sarah starts pushing Chuck to ass fuck her (because Morgan gives her fair warning and Chuck would be sure to notice if her tight little ass was suddenly a cock sucking vortex). That might be a nice text from Morgan: "I'm letting you off the hook to spend the night with Chuck... Just don't end the night without him ass fucking you because that's next for you and me... Make him fuck you like I fuck you." If that's why she does it, it forces her to think about Morgan while with Chuck!
Curious to see where this goes and how you involve other characters (Ellie and Carina, and, of course, Casey NEEDS to fuck Sarah) and how Sarah's lust for Morgan and subservience to him evolves.
In addition to F/F and Anal possibilities (see above), your tags also include 3plus. I can't wait to see how you incorporate those elements!
Anyone who doesn't like it, yet continues to read it, can hardly blame you (the writer) for their choice. Those of us who deliberately visited the adult site looking for porn fanfic appreciate your efforts. Some people seem to have wandered in the wrong door.
I hope you turn Sarah into Morgan's enthusiastic fuck slut / slave / whore just for fun and the sake of something different!
Now please update soon?! :)
P.S. - thanks for staying the course. It's inspired me to work on something myself, hopefully coming soon!!
"I won't be changing it or the direction it's going"...thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
I loved this chapter and the direction of the story and can't wait for what's next.
"...well, I will tell you he'll [Chuck will] end up doing better then you think."... Yay!! The biggest potential downfall, and a concern I also had, addressed. (Now everyone can just shut up about it.)
I don't know what you're going to do or how you're going to go about it but I now have faith you'll be working toward it.
Maybe Sarah ends up with her ass in the air strapped to a turntable in a sex club for anyone to use her holes at Morgan's direction (and she LOVES it) but Chuck's end game in that would be interesting.
(Wouldn't it be nice to see Chuck come in once a month to fuck his ex for free (courtesy of Morgan) and her looking forward to it because she still loves Chuck but can't break free of this sex beast she's turned into!)
Now to the story!...
To the point of some complainers, she's already crossed a line that makes this very unlikely to end up as any kind of Charah story. And as much as I ship them, that's fine by me! I'm glad you like the "weird pairing".
I loved how you've started down the path of Sarah turning into exactly what Morgan described: begging for Morgan's cock and dropping her panties for him at every opportunity (hopefully in places where there's a risk of them getting caught; and then having to service various people to buy their silence... believability is not my chief concern here! ;))
I loved that she was enjoying him eating her out, despite herself. Morgan seems to like going down on her (or like that he can draw out genuine pleasure from her despite the blackmail) so I hope he drives her to orgasm after orgasm and it will turn into something she begs for.
But I guess that's not the most submissive approach so I'm curious how/if you incorporate it. I also like that Sarah walks into and out of the room as the "capable agent" but IN the room showed signs of eventually turning into the fuck toy slave behind closed doors (if you take it that far - please do!)
She CAN be both.
I also like that Morgan is pretty well endowed to the point that Sarah thinks he's big even with her seductress/iffy past. (Yes, Chucksters we get that the seductress thing is a stretch for Sarah and the show. But here it has been declared. Move on. ... That said, maybe we find out just how much Sarah secretly enjoyed "taking one for the team" during her spy career?!)
Does Morgan have a real girlfriend (Alex?!) at this point? It would be interesting if the gf gained control of Morgan's new "toy". Or, I mentioned in an earlier review, Carina could fill that role!
If Alex is around, I'll reiterate that I wouldn't mind seeing Chuck and Morgan end up essentially trading Sarah for Alex as it progresses... Just saying.
I loved Sarah just slightly enjoying the pleasure of Morgan ramming up into her and then flipping her over and burying his cock in her. She may hate Morgan right now but she's starting to really like his dick! I like that this transformation (wherever it's headed) is happening slowly. You can offer just a hint of her liking it and even though that's enough to turn many away I'm looking forward to seeing that intensify.
Her reaction to the next call/text from Morgan will be interesting. I hope she gets wet wondering what he has in store. Maybe rides Chuck extra hard when she gets home trying to make up for it in some weird way. Maybe tries to get Chuck to stop being quite so sweet all the time and to just "use" her too.
The birth control / protection thing needs to be discussed because Morgan NEEDS to be cumming inside her. Every hole. I want her as addicted to his cum as his cock. Maybe he just checks her file?
Maybe Sarah starts pushing Chuck to ass fuck her (because Morgan gives her fair warning and Chuck would be sure to notice if her tight little ass was suddenly a cock sucking vortex). That might be a nice text from Morgan: "I'm letting you off the hook to spend the night with Chuck... Just don't end the night without him ass fucking you because that's next for you and me... Make him fuck you like I fuck you." If that's why she does it, it forces her to think about Morgan while with Chuck!
Curious to see where this goes and how you involve other characters (Ellie and Carina, and, of course, Casey NEEDS to fuck Sarah) and how Sarah's lust for Morgan and subservience to him evolves.
In addition to F/F and Anal possibilities (see above), your tags also include 3plus. I can't wait to see how you incorporate those elements!
Anyone who doesn't like it, yet continues to read it, can hardly blame you (the writer) for their choice. Those of us who deliberately visited the adult site looking for porn fanfic appreciate your efforts. Some people seem to have wandered in the wrong door.
I hope you turn Sarah into Morgan's enthusiastic fuck slut / slave / whore just for fun and the sake of something different!
Now please update soon?! :)
P.S. - thanks for staying the course. It's inspired me to work on something myself, hopefully coming soon!!
schedule
July 26, 2015 at 12:00 AM
To the last reviewer , I just read your long review . Your enthusiasm for a slutty Sarah made me laugh. Wich at this moment due to a few personal problems that are persisting to crop up was well needed.
Do feel free to keep offering your ideas , because there's so many options for Sarah that I don't want to miss any good ones. Don't threat , while I'm not sure how long I'll be , hopefully a few days maybe less but no promises , I do have most of the next chapter written ...... I'm thinking off naming it something like Morgan's law....take from that what you will. I've come to realise some people are only here for Charah and that's fine , I also understand not everyone will find my story beleivable that's fine aswell. I'm glad you get that haha.
Just fyi, I reckon this story takes place late season 3 but in this AU , Ellie and awesome didn't go to doctors without borders , Daniel Shaw ain't coming back etc
Do feel free to keep offering your ideas , because there's so many options for Sarah that I don't want to miss any good ones. Don't threat , while I'm not sure how long I'll be , hopefully a few days maybe less but no promises , I do have most of the next chapter written ...... I'm thinking off naming it something like Morgan's law....take from that what you will. I've come to realise some people are only here for Charah and that's fine , I also understand not everyone will find my story beleivable that's fine aswell. I'm glad you get that haha.
Just fyi, I reckon this story takes place late season 3 but in this AU , Ellie and awesome didn't go to doctors without borders , Daniel Shaw ain't coming back etc
schedule
July 26, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Why spend so long building up the blackmail if you don't care about it being believable? That makes no sense.
schedule
July 25, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Enjoyed the first 4 chapters thought it had great potential. But chapter 5 ruined it for me. She enjoyed cheating on the man she supposedly loves more then anything in the world with his best friend who is also blackmailing her. Utter ridiculous. thanks for the effort you put in but i wont be reading anymore.
schedule
July 25, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I'm sorry to the people who don't like the story anymore , or people who don't find it believable etc. I won't be changing it or the direction it's going so I don't need reviews telling me you won't be reading it . I knew some wouldn't like it and that's fine I'm sorry if I've wasted your time . One thing that I will say though , this whole idea that Chuck will end up some sad sack with no backbone , well I will tell you he'll end up doing better then you think.
Thank you to any readers who still like it , and thank you to readers who have stopped , I'm sorry it wasn't for you.
Merlin
Thank you to any readers who still like it , and thank you to readers who have stopped , I'm sorry it wasn't for you.
Merlin