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November 1, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Good story so far.
That idea about being in the van with the comms on is a good one. We know Sarah concentrates when Morgan is doing something to her so she doesn't show any reactions ( well she tries). Cause she's in the zone trying to not let Morgan know she's liking it maybe she misses something Chuck says to her and he ends up getting hurt cause of it and she hates herself even more.
That idea about being in the van with the comms on is a good one. We know Sarah concentrates when Morgan is doing something to her so she doesn't show any reactions ( well she tries). Cause she's in the zone trying to not let Morgan know she's liking it maybe she misses something Chuck says to her and he ends up getting hurt cause of it and she hates herself even more.
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November 1, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Yeah liking it. Sarah's in her own little world till she hears gunshots coming through the comms and Casey shouting that Chucks hit. That would make her hate herself and Morgan more then anything after that.
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October 26, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Hey Merlin
An idea for you to get Sarah and Morgan alone. Chuck needs to visit another city because there is an IT convention. Chuck is there to install and has to stay back to provide tech support. Buymore is sponsoring and installing the equipment. Casey goes with him as muscle to pick and move the equipment(this will also take care of Chuck's security as Casey will be with him). Morgan is not needed since he is the Manager of store plus he was a green shirt before. Do you think it's good?
Merlin if do decide that the idea works for you, make the sex nasty. Divide the whole arc into days...a chapter for each day Chuck is away. This way you can fit more depravity :)
An idea for you to get Sarah and Morgan alone. Chuck needs to visit another city because there is an IT convention. Chuck is there to install and has to stay back to provide tech support. Buymore is sponsoring and installing the equipment. Casey goes with him as muscle to pick and move the equipment(this will also take care of Chuck's security as Casey will be with him). Morgan is not needed since he is the Manager of store plus he was a green shirt before. Do you think it's good?
Merlin if do decide that the idea works for you, make the sex nasty. Divide the whole arc into days...a chapter for each day Chuck is away. This way you can fit more depravity :)
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October 22, 2015 at 12:00 AM
as soon as its finished is all i can say anon . Im also working on my two other stories witch ive completely left unfinished because this one took over , so im writing a bit of each in an attempt to get each of them updated . Although this and my Merlin story will probably be updated first . Sorry about the await people .
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October 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Great story so far can't wait to read more. My only problem would be you don't show enough how much Sarah hates the sex and how really humiliating it is for her. Her being used and fucked by Morgan is supposed to be a punishment for her cheating on chuck. As it is at the minute it's more of a reward then a punishment, how Morgan is treating her at the minute is like her biggest secret fantasy, being treated like a slut. She enjoys it cause it's her biggest secret desire, but it's almost like she's being rewarded for cheating on chuck.
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October 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Mty14, you may want to consider abandoning porn as a source of entertainment.
Or at least letting the rest of us to enjoy these "ridiculous" scenarios.
I'm in the "more extreme is better" camp so you're being a complete buzzkill.
Go for it Merlin!
Or at least letting the rest of us to enjoy these "ridiculous" scenarios.
I'm in the "more extreme is better" camp so you're being a complete buzzkill.
Go for it Merlin!
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October 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I love the story; I've been following it since day 1. I just hate bad ideas.
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October 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
"I love the story;..."
GREAT! Me too! (By the way, all the quotes are your own words)
"I've been following it since day 1."
Again, me too. No bonus points for you claiming "day 1" status. (SMH at internet "first!" behavior)
"I just hate bad ideas." Fine. But maybe dial down the intensity a notch or two so it's not like you're trying to assume creative control and make the rest of us feel like we have to fight for the story to continue.
Exhibit A: "It's ridiculous. It's not even believable within the confines of this absurd story, which was obviously what I meant."
So... You "love it" but it's "absurd" and you "hate bad ideas"?
Maybe dial it down three notches and focus on the constructive over the "ridiculous", "repetitive", "implausible", "realistic rape reaction", "out of character", "mind numbing" comments (selective sampling of your most recent 4 comments but they aren't out of context).
Maybe four notches. Have your argument with Mufc (who says he DOESNT even LIKE the story yet offers numerous suggestions and also argues pointlessly) elsewhere.
This is a REVIEW board anyway. It's against terms of use to have reader debates on review boards. Just saying.
Merlin? Keep going!
Make it raunchy.
And extreme.
Ignore the few super opinionated mega-"reviewers" out of fifteen THOUSAND hits because you can't please them all.
I wanna continue to see the conflicted Sarah who loves Chuck but is starting to crave Morgan's cock despite despising him and Morgan becoming more and more bold (as you've established thus far).
Please!?!?!
I like the multiple days idea but not sure how to pull it off. Think you need Chuck sent away AND Morgan / Sarah out of Burbank. Dunno how to pull it off.
GREAT! Me too! (By the way, all the quotes are your own words)
"I've been following it since day 1."
Again, me too. No bonus points for you claiming "day 1" status. (SMH at internet "first!" behavior)
"I just hate bad ideas." Fine. But maybe dial down the intensity a notch or two so it's not like you're trying to assume creative control and make the rest of us feel like we have to fight for the story to continue.
Exhibit A: "It's ridiculous. It's not even believable within the confines of this absurd story, which was obviously what I meant."
So... You "love it" but it's "absurd" and you "hate bad ideas"?
Maybe dial it down three notches and focus on the constructive over the "ridiculous", "repetitive", "implausible", "realistic rape reaction", "out of character", "mind numbing" comments (selective sampling of your most recent 4 comments but they aren't out of context).
Maybe four notches. Have your argument with Mufc (who says he DOESNT even LIKE the story yet offers numerous suggestions and also argues pointlessly) elsewhere.
This is a REVIEW board anyway. It's against terms of use to have reader debates on review boards. Just saying.
Merlin? Keep going!
Make it raunchy.
And extreme.
Ignore the few super opinionated mega-"reviewers" out of fifteen THOUSAND hits because you can't please them all.
I wanna continue to see the conflicted Sarah who loves Chuck but is starting to crave Morgan's cock despite despising him and Morgan becoming more and more bold (as you've established thus far).
Please!?!?!
I like the multiple days idea but not sure how to pull it off. Think you need Chuck sent away AND Morgan / Sarah out of Burbank. Dunno how to pull it off.
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October 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
lol. I know you're being deliberately obtuse, but saying that I've been reading since the beginning was to further show that I am committed to enjoying it. It wasn't whatever moronic reasoning you projected onto it that hardly even makes sense in context. And yes, the premise of this story is fairly absurd. Yes I love it and yes I hate bad ideas. I don't see the conflict.
"But maybe dial down the intensity a notch or two"
No? I've given plenty of constructive criticism. Also, LOL at you thinking calling something "repetitive" or "implausible" is harsh criticism. What? Am I being trolled? Maybe I am because next you start talking about how debating is "against the rules" (oh no!!!) after doing nothing but responding to my reviews directly.
And I do want the story to continue :). Nothing I've said has been 'stop writing' or 'give up the story'.
I'm glad, Merlin, that you've said that Sarah will never be feeling anything other than hate toward Morgan, and that she will never fall for him or want him to have sex with her at all. I think that's a good way to handle that aspect of the story.
"But maybe dial down the intensity a notch or two"
No? I've given plenty of constructive criticism. Also, LOL at you thinking calling something "repetitive" or "implausible" is harsh criticism. What? Am I being trolled? Maybe I am because next you start talking about how debating is "against the rules" (oh no!!!) after doing nothing but responding to my reviews directly.
And I do want the story to continue :). Nothing I've said has been 'stop writing' or 'give up the story'.
I'm glad, Merlin, that you've said that Sarah will never be feeling anything other than hate toward Morgan, and that she will never fall for him or want him to have sex with her at all. I think that's a good way to handle that aspect of the story.
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October 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
What happened between me and mty14 was just a friendly debate. It wasn't malicious or offensive. No one is making you read the reviews or get involved with our views.
So just because I don't like the story means I'm not entitled to comment? Anybody who devotes their time to a story of a programme I like deserves appreciation. Yes I'm not a fan of this story but the next one he writes I might enjoy. He asked for suggestions so I offered one, it doesn't matter if I like the story or not; I just wanted to help a writer out. I don't see the problem with that.
So just because I don't like the story means I'm not entitled to comment? Anybody who devotes their time to a story of a programme I like deserves appreciation. Yes I'm not a fan of this story but the next one he writes I might enjoy. He asked for suggestions so I offered one, it doesn't matter if I like the story or not; I just wanted to help a writer out. I don't see the problem with that.