rate_review Reviews

Your descriptions are getting even better, but it feels like you are rushing, some of your word choices and grammar are getting sloppy. It is fun to get right to the " good stuff" but to make a story work and get the reader invested, there has to be more, think motivations and context. I like your writing style it is succinct and hot... I just want to see a little more

If this is your first story "wow".
I do agree with Midnight about fleshing it out some. Keep in mind
Midknight is one of the best writers and the fact that he/she reviewed your story means you have got a decent story. I hope you continue your storyline so Chloe/Lana/Clark can play

It's a pretty good start, but it needs a little context and you need to watch your grammar and formatting. Errors in both sort of yank you out of the story. Your descriptions are good and you have good pace. Keep at it.