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April 27, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I can't be sorry that McGee pulled the trigger. Love the little family
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April 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
i just dropped in to read and loved it all!
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April 14, 2011 at 12:00 AM
glad they found little Benjamin and Tobias (LOL), love how they worked the crime scene and the tie in with Gibbs' revenge for his family
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April 7, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I think Warren's going to be a mite put out LOL
very hot, definitely worth the wait!
very hot, definitely worth the wait!
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March 31, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I really like how you portrayed all sides of Gibbs; private, possessive, not showing tender emotion in public but caring and passionate in private
and the sex was really hot too!!
and the sex was really hot too!!
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March 23, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I was looking forward to Warren being dragged behind a horse LOL
loved the tender moment between Tim and Gibbs, just the way I'd imagine Gibbs in love with someone
loved the tender moment between Tim and Gibbs, just the way I'd imagine Gibbs in love with someone
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March 19, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Oh, I really hope they can get to Tim before his father hurts him further. Good for him standing his ground and not giving in to his father, I'm thinking being with the others has changed him. He belongs with the gang, go get him, Gibbs!
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March 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
My goodness, I am in love with this story! I love every aspect of it and am anxiously awaiting the next chapter. =^-^=
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March 12, 2011 at 12:00 AM
As usual, your characterizations are spot on. I really liked the description of Jimmy and Ducky's relationship:
There were many little things that proved Jimmy’s devotion but in truth his reaction to Ducky’s stories cemented Gibbs’ opinion regarding his sincerity. Only someone in love with Ducky could listen to his stories for five hours straight and manage to hang on to every word.
I'm not a professional editor, even though I did get paid for it in university. :) But I do a lot of betaing and if you'd like, you can message me on the forums, even though there's not much I can add to your excellent writing
love the story, keep it coming
There were many little things that proved Jimmy’s devotion but in truth his reaction to Ducky’s stories cemented Gibbs’ opinion regarding his sincerity. Only someone in love with Ducky could listen to his stories for five hours straight and manage to hang on to every word.
I'm not a professional editor, even though I did get paid for it in university. :) But I do a lot of betaing and if you'd like, you can message me on the forums, even though there's not much I can add to your excellent writing
love the story, keep it coming
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March 3, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I just love Tony's interaction with Kate and I think we're about to see the softer side of Gibbs :)
Just wanted to mention a few nitpicky grammar things.
Commas are your friends; I think they are feeling neglected LOL.
And another little thing that I notice crops up once in a while, some sentences are not actually sentences e.g.'His face felt a little itchy from dirt smudges on his face. The soil getting trapped in the tracks of his tears.' The second is not a sentence. Some ideas:
'His face felt a little itchy from dirt smudges on his face. The soil was trapped in the tracks of his tears.'
'His face felt a little itchy from dirt smudges on his face, the soil getting trapped in the tracks of his tears.'
or better yet and avoiding the comma -ing trap, "His face felt a little itchy from the soil of the dirt smudges that were trapped in the tracks of his tears.' or something along those lines.
One inconsistency with the time period is the use of the term 'bathroom'. A bathroom in the old west would be a room with a tub. You would do your business in an outhouse or behind a tree or if you were really well off and had some form of indoor plumbing, it would be a water closet. But not something most would notice unless they routinely write or read stuff form the 1870's :)
Honestly, though, the story is engrossing enough that I'm just noticing these as an aside (the editor in me coming out) and it is certainly NOT affecting my enjoyment of the story. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Just wanted to mention a few nitpicky grammar things.
Commas are your friends; I think they are feeling neglected LOL.
And another little thing that I notice crops up once in a while, some sentences are not actually sentences e.g.'His face felt a little itchy from dirt smudges on his face. The soil getting trapped in the tracks of his tears.' The second is not a sentence. Some ideas:
'His face felt a little itchy from dirt smudges on his face. The soil was trapped in the tracks of his tears.'
'His face felt a little itchy from dirt smudges on his face, the soil getting trapped in the tracks of his tears.'
or better yet and avoiding the comma -ing trap, "His face felt a little itchy from the soil of the dirt smudges that were trapped in the tracks of his tears.' or something along those lines.
One inconsistency with the time period is the use of the term 'bathroom'. A bathroom in the old west would be a room with a tub. You would do your business in an outhouse or behind a tree or if you were really well off and had some form of indoor plumbing, it would be a water closet. But not something most would notice unless they routinely write or read stuff form the 1870's :)
Honestly, though, the story is engrossing enough that I'm just noticing these as an aside (the editor in me coming out) and it is certainly NOT affecting my enjoyment of the story. Can't wait for the next chapter!