schedule
June 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Good story - has real potential.
Grammar needs work though and there are a few really awful typo's - 'steal' is to take, 'steel' is the metal... and one does not generally substitute well for the other, not a good mistake to make in this genre as Superman is known as 'The Man of Steel'. Since you must be using a word processor, get the most out of it and run a grammar check over your text before you post it.
Your punctuation is off too - comma's go directly after the word, with a single space after the comma, rather than before: it looks really odd otherwise. I'm sure you'd rather your reader was concentrating on what you have written rather than thinking about how strange it looks?
Sorry to sound negative, as the story is intriguing, but if no one ever tells these things then you how are you going to improve?
'Purr
Grammar needs work though and there are a few really awful typo's - 'steal' is to take, 'steel' is the metal... and one does not generally substitute well for the other, not a good mistake to make in this genre as Superman is known as 'The Man of Steel'. Since you must be using a word processor, get the most out of it and run a grammar check over your text before you post it.
Your punctuation is off too - comma's go directly after the word, with a single space after the comma, rather than before: it looks really odd otherwise. I'm sure you'd rather your reader was concentrating on what you have written rather than thinking about how strange it looks?
Sorry to sound negative, as the story is intriguing, but if no one ever tells these things then you how are you going to improve?
'Purr
schedule
June 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 3 rocks!!! Totally awesome! Clark getting promoted and not Lois? Supersweet!
I wanted to thank you for my celeb fanfic review! If you search for the kinds of stories I've done, you'll find another story I did many years ago but it's still here... Britney Spears: The Fan... (created when I used to be a fan of her.) As for the thing you told me, which was hilarious... *spoiler* something will happen quite similar, and yet, not so similar in the story!
I wanted to thank you for my celeb fanfic review! If you search for the kinds of stories I've done, you'll find another story I did many years ago but it's still here... Britney Spears: The Fan... (created when I used to be a fan of her.) As for the thing you told me, which was hilarious... *spoiler* something will happen quite similar, and yet, not so similar in the story!
schedule
June 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Those two chapters are HAWT!!!!! I also got a Heroes fanfic here... if you also like that show.
Hope you're planning on continuing this fic! Plus I hope that I've given you an idea for Heightened Desires!
~JohnSlayer~
Hope you're planning on continuing this fic! Plus I hope that I've given you an idea for Heightened Desires!
~JohnSlayer~