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June 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Love Chapter 30! I just updated "Fracture" with a new chapter called "Reverse". I'm going to update our little fanfic soon! Just wanted to let you know! Take care and keep up the good fic work!
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May 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Haven't seen an update for a long time, I liked this one. We need more hotness thiese days on the forum, so I can't wait the next installment.
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May 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Sorry if English is not your first language (in which case, 'bravo' for a magnificent effort), but this is a reasonable story and could potentially be really good; if you could resolve some niggling inconsistencies.
Having read through 4 chapters, what comes over most strongly is not, unfortunately, the story, which is what you are obviously hoping to impart, but the fact that you either can't or aren't using tenses properly, plus you have a habit of shoving commas in where none are needed...
I genuinely like your idea, and the direction that you're taking the characters, but it's very hard going to read something that has this many distractions within the text.
If grammar and punctuation aren't your thing (which they aren't for everyone) then might I suggest you take on the services of a Beta reader and leave yourself free to do the creative stuff? You're currently expecting us (your readers) to do the work that you, as the writer, should be doing.
'Purr
Having read through 4 chapters, what comes over most strongly is not, unfortunately, the story, which is what you are obviously hoping to impart, but the fact that you either can't or aren't using tenses properly, plus you have a habit of shoving commas in where none are needed...
I genuinely like your idea, and the direction that you're taking the characters, but it's very hard going to read something that has this many distractions within the text.
If grammar and punctuation aren't your thing (which they aren't for everyone) then might I suggest you take on the services of a Beta reader and leave yourself free to do the creative stuff? You're currently expecting us (your readers) to do the work that you, as the writer, should be doing.
'Purr
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April 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love this newest chapter! I got Fracture updated with a new chapter.
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April 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
A quarrel finally, good make them angry then make them solve the problem in horizontal position.
I always thought Clark is the cook in this house, cause Lois can't cook anything properly.
I always thought Clark is the cook in this house, cause Lois can't cook anything properly.
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April 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
WHat is it with thiose little girls in your stories? Seriously she has to have a reason in it, can't wait to find out.
I like when the sex scenes are close to reality, you are doing it so well. It's not hard to write a highlight in one's life, thought these kind of stories tend to be very cheesy. But to write a steamy sex scene under an old shower with low pressure and a kid behind a wall, well that's a piece of art. I enjoyed this very much.
I like when the sex scenes are close to reality, you are doing it so well. It's not hard to write a highlight in one's life, thought these kind of stories tend to be very cheesy. But to write a steamy sex scene under an old shower with low pressure and a kid behind a wall, well that's a piece of art. I enjoyed this very much.
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April 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
The update is awesome, can't wait for the rest of the plot (and some smut)
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April 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This last chapter is interesting. I updated Obsession... be it with a short chapter, IMO.
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April 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
WOW! Had some time on my hands to read the other chapters, and they're muy MUY caliente! LOL
Updated "Kara Zor-El", hopefully will update all of them in a couple of days.
Keep on going, you're doing great!
Updated "Kara Zor-El", hopefully will update all of them in a couple of days.
Keep on going, you're doing great!
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April 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
No screaming Lois, there's a kid in a house :-)