rate_review Reviews

please finish this story before moving on. you are doing a great job, and nobody else wrights for these characters!!!

It's pretty good. There is room for improvement but overalll it is a pretty solid story. Update

KEEP IT GREASY

i really can't think of a way to get oliver or maddie in this story. i may write a different story with them but this story has been written inside my head since christmas. i made a huge change by taking out crossover and that is just because i knew it would be really hard to write her in and it probably wouldn't make much sense. eventually i will probably write a suite life story with maddie. i think after i put part 3B of this story up i am going to take a break from disney for a while though. i have a war at home story i want to do and a few dbz stories.

This is a really good plotline... well from what I read. Which was the first chapter. And I can see Lily doing that... if it was something like OTH. But it's not, so I don't... It is still obvious you're a first time writer, due to the fact that there are little mistakes that weren't caught. It was a good fic, though it rushed into sex way too quickly. If there was more of a storyline to the fic, then it would be better. Because it just jumped right in, and I didn't get it. And I've been a smut reader for a while now. And most of the time there has to be a storyline, leading up to the smut. You're paragraphs were a little hard to read, because of the spacing, and it wasn't indented everytime someone talk (basic rule number one.) Please don't this as a flame, because it was a really good fic, everyone likes a good smut every once in a while. But this isn't good, it is, but it isn't at the same. May I suggest rewriting it, if it's a first attempt (I forgot to read the A/N.) then it's alright, I guess. But if it's like a second or third attempt, you may want to take it down and rework it. Later. Person who is concerned.

thanks. don't mind a flame. like honest opinion. i changed the format but it looks horrible. probably going to change it back. this is my first story so still not sure how to properly format the stories. thanks again for your honest opinion. were there more mistakes that weren't missed? and i might rewrite this story but i doubt it. going to stop updating this story because i want to write other stories but i will try to adjust the next few chapters with your suggestions.

do not do a crossover. it ruins stories

Hey, its me but Im not logged in. You should include Ashley Tisdale(Maddy) in your stories. That would rock! I'll be looking forward to more chapters.

the story rocked. i dont think it took 2 long to get to the sex part at all!!

I wasn't familiar with this show, but you sure had my eyebrows raised.
At first I thought, right, the girl with the boobs gets the job. Figures.
But mostly, I just enjoyed the fantasy along with you. It was pretty hot.
There were very few errors (thank you!) and some paragraphs were just too long, so I skipped them, but otherwise, ...well, let's say I want to lay back and smoke a cigarette.

Yay chapter 2