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for Strip Lovin

by MonicaBing

person Gelgarin
schedule August 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Not to be critical, on the whole your little series is rather good (allthough some are abit too short for my taste) however having read them all back to back I've notced a major problem. You use the phrase "Im allmost there!" numerous times every story, and after hearing it about the fifth time I did want to stop reading all together.
Mix your language up a little more and prolong the scenes and you'll be onto a winner.