rate_review Reviews

Please please say its
Not abandoned and that you will update soon because I
Love this story

RE: chapter one

*SQUEE*
OMG OMG OMG--this story is so cool! I'm so stoke to read more! I love how Rose has a Scottish accent--too cool.

Brilliant first chapter--well done--keep up the good work!
☺

RE: chapter two

Oooh, I forgot to mention in my review for the first chapter that absolutely love it that the Doctor told Rose that he is in love with her, and that Rose told him that she loves him too--fantastic!
;~D

~*~*~
'They noticed he spoke in a similar accent to Rose’s new accent.'

It is like they were made for each other--brilliant! LOL
:D

I love it that the TARDIS made Rose over into a Time Lady, and that the Doctor still remembers that he is in love with Rose.
*::grins like a fool::*

~*~*~
Well done--keep up the good work!
☺

~*~*~
F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

1) 'He added “I am yet to discover was ["was" should be "what"] has changed and what hasn’t changed. It is apart of the generation ["generation" should be "regeneration"] process, I discover everything new and old as I go along.”'

2) 'He asked “what exactly do I look like, am I ginger?” Jack snorted while Rose did not know weather ["weather" should be "whether"] to laugh or cry.'

3) 'The Doctor cleared his throat “ah, but Rose, your ["your" should be "you're"] no longer human, that is what bothers me. ...”'

4) 'The Doctor added “yeah I need to do some tests on all three of us before either I or Rose pass, out. I grantee ["grantee" should be "guarantee"] you before along we will both pass out. ...”'

5) '“... This is Rose’s first time it will be more difficult for her then ["then" should be "than"] for me.”'

6) 'Jack just hopped ["hopped" should be "hoped"] neither of his friends passed out before they reached the medical bay.'

RE: chapter three

I loved it when Rose slapped the Doctor for his hating himself for Rose's regeneration causing them both to speak with their Scottish accent, and the Doctor to swear--too funny.
:D

~*~*~
Well done--keep up the good work!
☺

~*~*~
F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

1) '... who seemed to be about to follow her male counter parts ["counter parts" should be "counterpart's"] example and keel over.'

2) 'Rose sighed and asked “so you mean Jack was right, I really do have to ["to" should be "two"] hearts? ...'

3) '“... and for that I hate my self ["my self" should be "myself"].”'

4) 'The Doctor never usually swore in less ["in less" should be "unless"] truly riled, no matter whatever incarnation he is at the time, especially not in English that is.'

5) 'Rose growled back in an equally angry Scottish drawl ["drawl" should be "brogue"] ...' ****This error happened at least once before, but I forgot to make mention of it. Sorry.

6) 'She continued on “How dare you blame your self ["your self" should be "yourself"], ...”'

7) 'She sighed and told him “don’t you ever dare blame your self ["your self" should be "yourself"], ...”'

8) 'She finished “I am still me; I may now be an alien, but just because I am no longer human, it dose ["dose" should be "does"] not mean my humanity has gone. ...”'

9) 'She lowered her voice to an almost whisper “just because I am no longer human dose ["dose" should be "does"] not mean that I still don’t know how to act like one.”'

10) 'He added wistfully “Besides with it being Christmas and all, perhaps she’ll excise ["excise" should be "exercise"] some of that season cheer and good will and spare us.”'

11) '“But then again the likely hood ["likely hood" should be "likelihood"] of that ever coming to pass is as solid and less likely then me ever regenerating and ending up with ginger hair.”'

12) '... a much easier task then ["then" should be "than"] it would have been previously, ...'

RE: chapter four

'Jack said “make sure they remain close together.

From what I’ve seen since yesterday when this first happened. They seemed to pass out on and off at the same time as each other.”

He added “it seems that the closer they are the faster they tend to recover, it is as if they are some how connected to each and are drawing energy from the other.”'


Aww, it is so sweet that they need to be near each other to recover, that they are connected in some way and seem to be drawing energy from each other--romantic, hey?

~*~*~
Well done--keep up the good work!
☺

~*~*~
F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

1) 'Rose was still dressed in her jeans t shirt ["jeans t shirt" should be "jeans, T-shirt,"] and the red jersey sweater from the day before. And the Doctor was still dressed in the leather jacket jeans and jump ["leather jacket jeans and jump" should be "leather jacket, jeans, and jumper"] of his previous incarnation.'

2) '“... It is Rose and the Doctors ["Doctors" should be "Doctor"]. ...”'

RE: chapter five

Hmm, I find it very interesting that Jack is attracted to Mickey and feels that he (Jack) could settle down with him (Mickey). I also found it interesting that since he (Mickey) met Jack he (Mickey) had started to notice not only women but men as well. Sounds like Mickey has had his mind expanded to all possibilities, making him more flexible in accepting whoever, whether they be female or male, as his soulmate.

~*~*~
Well done--keep up the good work!
☺

~*~*~
F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

1) 'It was a pity he thought to him self ["him self" should be "himself"] that Mickey did not swing that way. Sure Jack was more then your typical notorious play boy. [A carridge return (hitting the ENTER key) and inserting a line of space is NOT necessary here.]

But with Mickey he felt that he could settle down. Even though he did not know Mickey well, but something’s you just knew without second guessing.'

2) '... but something’s ["something’s" should be "somethings"] you just knew without second guessing.'

3) 'Mickey [You forgot to INSERT a comma (,) after the word "Mickey".] unknowingly to Jack [You forgot to INSERT a comma (,) after the word "Jack".] was also watching the handsome ex- time agent.'

4) '... as several Santa’s ["Santa’s" should be "Santas"] aimed brass musical instruments at him self ["him self" should be "himself"] and Mickey.'

5) 'He grabbed Mickey’s hand before ducking then running with Mickey has ["has" should be "as"] gun fire ["gun fire" should be "gunfire"] when ["when" should be "went"] flying in every direction.'

6) 'He instantly noticed it was being deliberately aimed and ["and" should be "at"] him self ["him self" should be "himself"] and Mickey, and not anyone else.'

RE: chapter six

Great story... fun to read too.
:D

Well done--keep up the good work!
☺

~*~*~
F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

1) '... “bloody hell, we were just attacked by Santa’s ["Santa’s" should be "Santas"] with brass trombones and trumpets, that fired bullets and flames at us.”'

2) '... “something is off, they were deliberately aiming at me and Mickey, and not any body ["any body" should be "anybody"] else.”'

3) '“... But we were the only two that those, wacko nut job Santa’s ["Santa’s" should be "Santas"] were aiming at.”'

4) '... “yes, good question Rose, I would very much like to know that my self ["my self" should be "myself"].”'

5) 'Mickey added “yeah, last time I bothered to check Rose had a London based accent, and I’m pretty dam ["dam" should be "damn"] sure the Doctor was sporting a Northern accent.”'

6) 'Jack answered “yeah and I’m pretty dam ["dam" should be "damn"] certain they regenerated less then twenty four hours ago. Regeneration changes you’re ["you’re" should be "your"] entire appearance and also change certain personality quirks.”'

7) '“... But you still maintain you ["you" should be "your"] memories from before the regeneration. Rose has gone under a less dramatic form of regeneration.”'

8) '... “because the Doctors ["Doctors" should be "Doctor's"] kind, they do this kind of thing, when their current body dies or is damaged beyond repair. ...”'

9) '... “her regeneration is only minor compared to the Doctors ["Doctors" should be "Doctor's"].”'

10) '“I can’t tell you what they are, only that there ["there" should be "they're"] major and important. ...”'

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

I hope you update soon. I'm really interested in this story. PLEASE!!!

i like ur story; please finish it. thank you