AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for training-camp

by sarag

person greglover14
schedule January 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is a really great story. I love Griss as the Dom. Its hot as hell. Please keep updating!!
person StarJourneying
schedule December 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Please get a beta reader! I found this short story very hard to read and the flow of the wording choppy. Good beginning though. Keep it up!

SJ
person Annabelle
schedule December 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You need to LEARN HOW TO SPELL and use punctuation correctly. Learn how to do these BEFORE
person Anna Rogers
schedule December 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
STOP IT!!!!
stop leaving it at cliff hangery bits!!

i think maybe scarfs may have to be involved.
person Anna Rogers
schedule December 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
for some reason that seemed random, but i cant wait for the next chapter, update soon.
person reviewer
schedule December 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Sssh, if you're going to try to write a story, how about using some capital letters and some punctuation?
person OnyxNYC
schedule December 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
DAMN!!! I smoked a cigarette before during and after that fic!! I still have chills! What a great hot story! I love forceful Grissom and you captured him nicely!!

person AvatarChick
schedule December 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good story but you need to use better capitalization and things so it's easier to read. Don't forget to spellcheck. Good beginning though.
person Annie
schedule November 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hi CSI gsr

I agree wtih eli this story has graet potrntial,

I too hate spohie guthatis inly jealosy she is vetter lookung tham me vut i console myself that her chatachtar is such a craw;wr (UK spesak for ass kisser). Cath and sara are better looking tham me but at ;east their charactors are nicer

I am too much of a coward to allow S&m or BD to happen to me but i can understsnd from reading a lot of the stories on here why it is a satisfying experience for some. Your sex scence was handled well , loved the training and self defnce course,

Could you not have included Ecklie I would have loved his backsided to vbe booted by any or all of them.

Well noe griss wonthe sex battle does sara win the fight

Are you pairing Warrick and cath

what anout nick and greg are they paireed or sharing the ladies

Good luck I will tune in and review as time allows

Annie



person Eli
schedule November 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It's a good story, your spelling and punctuation can use some reading over. If You need a beta reader for this story or any others, I can be of some assitance. It'll help with the fluidity and grammer and such. Plus it'll get you more readers, because a beta reader can be a HUGE dif in the final draft =). Great story line and such, though. SO much potential!