rate_review Reviews

Wow, another great chapter...but still stop it with the @ and &

great....awesome....i want to read more....so pls...pls...don't take a week to post it

Hey that was a bit harsh, if you are going to criticise, at least let it be helpful, I am not saying your opinion is wrong, but give helpful pointers and such, it' not that hard.

ugh that was mediocre at best. Don't you know how to spell out the word 'at' and 'and'. Goodness, you're such an amatuer.

Wow, I REALLY like where you are going with this, but here are a few helpful hints.

1. STOP using the @ sign, it really draws the reader's attention from the story due to the fact...well they think "what the hell?"

2. you kepp jumoing off of topics from one on to another, you have to just be more careful when starting and ending paragraphs, for example:

"Marco tentatively licked the tip of Spinner’s penis. While Marco had had sex, he’d never given a blowjob; Dylan was the one that gave him blowjobs. Not that he hadn’t wanted to & offered to, Dylan refused to let him; he claimed something about not wanting to hurt Marco." You see how the first sentecnce is about sex while the next is a rememberance? it didn't fit well.

and lastly, just fix the small ammount of typos you have, that ALSO draws the reader away from the story.

PLEASE PLASE PLASE!! DON'T stop writing though! I am just helping out :)

how freaking ironic, I tell about typos and I make a bunch of them -_-...take my advice still!!! :p

hey me again. love the chapter 4. this story is getting really good. im reviewing hoping to read more soon. keep it up im enjoying this

hey right on i like it so far i hope theres more. but i think it would be better if you used at instead of the @ sign but other then that right on

Cliffhanger, that's what this story should be called. *lol* Anyways, it's a cool theme. And smart since you want to keep your readers on edge. I like it a lot!

How dare you stop at that point!

I want, no, need more!