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April 24, 2019 at 12:00 AM
That was fun. I loved the whole revenge thing, and the way that their pretend-incest becomes not-so-pretend incest when they decide to keep doing it. That the story ends with them doing it in a janitor's closet at school is a particularly nice touch.
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December 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Very well written and tastefully done. I usually don't read stuff with kids in it, but this was quite good, and I think you did a nice job with the characters.
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January 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Interesting and disturbing at the same time. Ordinarily I wouldn't read Brady Bunch, but you wrote well enough to capture my attention and keep it there until the chapter was finished. Good job.
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December 16, 2006 at 12:00 AM
That was sweet. You have strange fantasies. but the sweetness is there. and the mischeviousness
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November 16, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I don't really enjoy reading one-shots or smut, even though I do like sex scenes. I despise reading about sex involving people under 15. But I gave this a chance because you are officially one of my favorite authors.
This is erotic. Sara Jaye is right. It's tastefully written and realistic as far as most sex fiction on this site goes. Even those who are usually disgusted by the "minor" label would be able to enjoy this. I like the fact that you chose not to enter the janitor's closet and left it to the imagination. For all we know, they might have a simple make-out session and gripe about the unrealistic ideals of perfection they have to live up to thanks to their older siblings (but in simpler words). They might not be having sex in there at all.
I can easily imagine a pair of 12/13-year-olds making out in a school janitor's closet during class whether it's now or back in the 70's. I don't really want to imagine two people that age having actual sex in a closet. I'd give it 2 or 3 years. For those who are turned on by sex between minors, or don't mind the concept, they can imagine the sex scene for themselves without bothering the rest of us.
Excuse me while I wait for the vividness of the scene in Lucy's closet during the party to die down.
This is erotic. Sara Jaye is right. It's tastefully written and realistic as far as most sex fiction on this site goes. Even those who are usually disgusted by the "minor" label would be able to enjoy this. I like the fact that you chose not to enter the janitor's closet and left it to the imagination. For all we know, they might have a simple make-out session and gripe about the unrealistic ideals of perfection they have to live up to thanks to their older siblings (but in simpler words). They might not be having sex in there at all.
I can easily imagine a pair of 12/13-year-olds making out in a school janitor's closet during class whether it's now or back in the 70's. I don't really want to imagine two people that age having actual sex in a closet. I'd give it 2 or 3 years. For those who are turned on by sex between minors, or don't mind the concept, they can imagine the sex scene for themselves without bothering the rest of us.
Excuse me while I wait for the vividness of the scene in Lucy's closet during the party to die down.
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October 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
write more please. i hope peter gets jan pregnant
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September 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Not too shabby, hun. I didn't even realize there was Brady Bunch fandom. You've got me curious now.
You might consider a bit more build-up prior to the main event. It's the same theory as sex, sometimes ya need a bit more foreplay. Other than that it really was a very well-written story.
You might consider a bit more build-up prior to the main event. It's the same theory as sex, sometimes ya need a bit more foreplay. Other than that it really was a very well-written story.
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December 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
AAAAWWW, I love it!
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December 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Pretty good story. Good build up.
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November 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Looks Good Keep it up