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January 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Interesting.
"...Gordo opened the door in a pair of sweatpants but had no shirt."
And yet, "Lizzie THREW OFF HIS SHIRT and ran her hands down his muscular chest."
Continuity, even in such an abysmal attempt at erotic writing, adds much needed credibility to stories.
Apart from that: Get a dictionary, get a beta and get yourself laid before you try to write sex scenes.
"...Gordo opened the door in a pair of sweatpants but had no shirt."
And yet, "Lizzie THREW OFF HIS SHIRT and ran her hands down his muscular chest."
Continuity, even in such an abysmal attempt at erotic writing, adds much needed credibility to stories.
Apart from that: Get a dictionary, get a beta and get yourself laid before you try to write sex scenes.
schedule
December 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wOoT!! i loved this story it was amazing, it was so hot...so...so...hot
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December 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love it. However, why did you merely hint at the "help" that Lizzie first gave matt? You started the first chapter at the end of their first escapade and I would have very much liked to read it. You made up for it with all the other plots though. Very good.
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December 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Please update please please please please please please update or i'll have to kill my self
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August 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wow
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August 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I loved that story, very good work.
Hopefully you'll write more chapters soon. laterz
Hopefully you'll write more chapters soon. laterz
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August 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
From begining to end I really like your story. I think you did a great job and I look forward to seeing more chapters added. The plot is a good design, the detail you give to the characters actions, clothing, and scenes is also great. Keep it up man.
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August 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Very good story. For a while, I thought that it had disappeared. I cant wait for that last chapter. Keep at it!