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October 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This review is technically for both versions of this story, but, since the resolution of it is in this version, I am leaving my review here.
If there is one loose end ― among many ― that I think should have been tied up in Firefly before its cancellation, it is the question of the on-and-off relationship that Kaylee and Simon have. That question has since been answered by Serenity, but, if the show had been permitted to run to its conclusion, I can see your story as a very plausible version of how that relationship might have taken care of itself ... with a little help from our favorite Captain, of course.
There are a couple of bugs in the story that need fixing, though. The names of the characters are not consistently spelled, and you need to use “okay” instead of “OK” if the characters are speaking. Those are minor complaints, though. Everybody is in-character, particularly the Captain. Though you do not openly say that he has arranged events in such a way that Kaylee and Simon will get together, it is heavily implied, and I can very easily see him doing that. It certainly would not be the first time he has been necessarily shady.
Also ... since this is AFF, do you think that both versions of the story are necessary? It might be a good idea to either include the 'uncut' version as a separate chapter or simply make it the default version. That is up to you, but I do not think that you need to have two different versions of the same story in the section.
Aside from that, as the local Browncoat, I approve of this story, and, if you have not already done so, I encourage you to go and see Serenity while it is still in the theaters. You might like what has been done with Kaylee and Simon there, though, as I have said, your version is more attuned to the original TV series.
If there is one loose end ― among many ― that I think should have been tied up in Firefly before its cancellation, it is the question of the on-and-off relationship that Kaylee and Simon have. That question has since been answered by Serenity, but, if the show had been permitted to run to its conclusion, I can see your story as a very plausible version of how that relationship might have taken care of itself ... with a little help from our favorite Captain, of course.
There are a couple of bugs in the story that need fixing, though. The names of the characters are not consistently spelled, and you need to use “okay” instead of “OK” if the characters are speaking. Those are minor complaints, though. Everybody is in-character, particularly the Captain. Though you do not openly say that he has arranged events in such a way that Kaylee and Simon will get together, it is heavily implied, and I can very easily see him doing that. It certainly would not be the first time he has been necessarily shady.
Also ... since this is AFF, do you think that both versions of the story are necessary? It might be a good idea to either include the 'uncut' version as a separate chapter or simply make it the default version. That is up to you, but I do not think that you need to have two different versions of the same story in the section.
Aside from that, as the local Browncoat, I approve of this story, and, if you have not already done so, I encourage you to go and see Serenity while it is still in the theaters. You might like what has been done with Kaylee and Simon there, though, as I have said, your version is more attuned to the original TV series.
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October 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hehehe, I liked the second chapter. I like 'what ifs'.
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May 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Will there be a thrid chapter?
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February 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Excellent, very well written and very true to the show. Hurry up with that Director's Cut, please!