AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Separate But Equal

by pslim

person ruleroftravels
schedule December 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You're such an accomplished writer!! this was incredibly perfect, in every way. i wish i could write as well as you. i love your work! ^^
person sg1niner
schedule June 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
First, the critique. I'd mainly suggest a bit more dialogue, and using more paragraph breaks. A paragraph represents a single particular idea, and the huge blocky paragraphs make it a bit tough to read.

That said, I'll have to say WOW!! Kick-ass scene, whew, I was feeling it. I was feeling it so much that in my glee I gave you a rating of Five, and it deserves it (that's one thing I base Ratings on: how I reacted to it, lol, and man, did I ever.)

I especially like physical descriptions of Q, whew, cuz let's face it, he's fine. Q, his Human avatar John de Lancie, either one, fine by me, wink wink.