rate_review Reviews

Wow.. You suck :)

I thought nothing could really disgust me anymore. I was wrong.

Maybe this is a sick joke (in which case it's excellent, because it made me nauseous and laugh at the same time), or the author has gone through a lobotomy before writing. I really do hope so, because if this was a serious fic, I may just lose all my faith in humanity and fanfic.

At least now all the other crap posted in the net will seem like the completed work of Shakespeare.

Going with this description 'One is a medic, tall, thin, and blue eyed. The other solider is tall, dark, and brown eyed, but a little huskier than his companion.', I'd say it's Hawkeye and Trapper. Could be improved with spacing, (don't worry, I have had this problem too, and I'm too lazy to make paragraphs on the stories this has happened to), but is fairly easily read because it's so short.

I'd suggest not using '2' but instead having 'two'. It looks better in comparison (in my opinion, anyway), unless you're giving a specific age to someone, which isn't the case here.

The description is farily poor, no offense intended, and could easily be improved. Using names, attitudes towards one another, or speech, can make a world of difference.

I'll give it a three of five stars.

So who the fuck are these two and why should we care?

If you write in one long paragraph, it is very hard to read; and an unemotional and unerotic recital of events makes it hard enough to read in the first place.

No character development, no story. Just first this, then that, then the end.

Could try harder

Dan

Usually I would not Dignify a fic this awful with a review, but I must make exceptions. Please learn to write.